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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-16-2017, 05:16 PM
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Default Ex-wife approving my roommates?

I'm currently paying my ex-wife $5100/month (spousal/child combined)

This obviously stresses my budget so I decided to get a roommate. The roommate doesn't show up for 2 months.

She wants to know a bunch of details about the roommate. I have no plans to leave my kids alone with the roommate, and to be quite honest I don't feel it is any of her business.

She told me that I need to communicate this kind of information to her, to that I replied via text saying "I will be getting a roommate soon, does this count as communication"

She said if I can't sit down and talk to her about it then we will have to go to a mediator to discuss....I told her to let me know the time for the mediator and she has to pay for it?

As far as I'm concerned she only needs to know that the kids are with me and they are fine. Am I wrong?

50/50 joint and shared. Province of Alberta.

Thanks
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Old 09-16-2017, 06:04 PM
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I think you are handling it the right way.

just tell her that you would not move someone in who would be a danger to the kids at all.

I take it that you have checked out the person yourself especially if they are not someone that you personally know. If not then that is something you should do. Dont let financial pressures make your decision for you.
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Old 09-17-2017, 11:39 AM
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You're not wrong. It's none of her concern. Play into this control game and she will be trying to screen your next girlfriend for you as well.

In my opinion the only thing an ex needs to know about ones living situation is the location, that the kids are safe and being taken care of.
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:32 PM
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Do not say anything to her. Don't explain about your home situation. None of her business.

If you put up a sign saying " Beware dog on premise" you are recognizing a possible threat and you are liable.

So don't explain anything. You do realize that the extra income you get from the roommate will add to your income. Hopefully she will not come after you for an increase.
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Old 09-17-2017, 06:09 PM
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I agree with the posters before me.
Don't engage in this sort of communication with your ex.

You'd be best to adopt a self-imposed rule where you "sleep on it" for 24 hrs and then decide if a response is needed.

These cell phones/texting is the death of many people nowadays.

QUIT RESPONDING to your ex. Only respond, through your lawyer, to court documents. If she wants mediation then let her start the process THROUGH YOUR LAWYER.
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Old 09-18-2017, 09:35 PM
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I agree with the other posters. Your personal life including who you associate with or have living in your house is none of your ex's business. You are no longer husband and wife. It may take some getting used to but you no longer have the type of relationship where you share things with each other ( except for info about the kids but even that is optional).

You need to set limits with her or she will keep sticking her nose in your personal business . She is no longer part of the circle of people you share your life with. Period. You have children together. That's it. Nothing else is of any concern to her. Including whether or not you have a roommate or what type of roomie. Black, white, male, female, blow up doll. None of her beeswax. She can get her own and then it's none of your business.
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