Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-26-2013, 01:30 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default Ex is moving...

So my ex informed me this morning that her and the bf are buying a house an hour West of where they are currently living and are once again uprooting my son from his school.

In September 2012 she moved from her house with her previous bf to her parents about 30 minutes away from my son's school and closer to where I was living. I drove him to his school in the old neighborhood when he was with me and that move didn't affect my access.

In December she moved in with the new boyfriend about 45 minutes away from where I am and this time my son changed schools. The access changed drastically when she moved and instead of having him about 12-15 days a month I went down to 4-5.

Well now they are buying a house and are moving even further away. This won't directly impact my access in terms of numbers of days but I'm concerned about her uprooting my son again. He doesn't adjust well to change and all this moving around and having to get adjusted again is hard on a kid.

Before I fire off a reply out of anger do I have any way to stop this or do I need to just smile and wish them good luck with the move? They have put an offer in on a house so it sounds like its going to be happening fairly fast. I'm not trying to stop her from moving and being happy I just don't agree with having our son change schools again.

Thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-26-2013, 01:44 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

With the move in December I wasn't informed until after it was done. He was with me on Christmas break and when it was time to drop him off she informed me that I needed to bring him to his new address where she had already enrolled him in school. When I contacted my previous lawyer he said since it was already done I would just look spiteful if I went to Court and unfortunately I listened.

Thanks for the info Mess.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-26-2013, 02:12 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

I called the school to ask how she had registered him and the school told me that since the Order says Joint Legal Custody but primary residence with ex that she has the right to enroll him without needing me to consent. Secretary said if they chased down every dad that wasn't there on enrollment day that would be a full time job.

Since moving in December she has emailed me twice that things aren't working out with the boyfriend and her and my son are moving. Then emails me later and says all is well. My fingers are crossed things work out with this guy and they stay together so that she can settle somewhere and keep my son stable. I suspect within a year they will be moving again though.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 12:23 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stressed76 View Post
I called the school to ask how she had registered him and the school told me that since the Order says Joint Legal Custody but primary residence with ex that she has the right to enroll him without needing me to consent. Secretary said if they chased down every dad that wasn't there on enrollment day that would be a full time job.
I don't believe an employee of the school would say something like this. If this is even remotely truthful I suggest you contact the Ministry of Education to have the matter investigated by an officer.

The school does NOT have the right to do this and PRIMARY RESIDENCY does not give the other parent the right to change enrolment.

An Officer of Education should investigate the matter. Hopefully you have the name of the employee at the school who stated this. The Ministry of Education often has to get involved to resolve nonsense like this and sent out a directive last year I believe warning school staff and officials of this kind of conduct.

Ontario Ministry of Education

I would recommend you bring the matter to the Ministry as their staff failed to recognize a court order and their own Rules, Acts and regulations.

I don't buy your story though...

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 12:59 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Lol whether or not you believe me is completely irrelevant in my life. I did report her to the Principal. I enrolled my son in high school with the same document and they never contacted my ex. My gf enrolled her younger kids in school and it was never questioned either. It's extremely niave to believe schools give a shit about specifics of every divorced couple's orders.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 01:17 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,470
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stressed76 View Post
Lol whether or not you believe me is completely irrelevant in my life. I did report her to the Principal. I enrolled my son in high school with the same document and they never contacted my ex. My gf enrolled her younger kids in school and it was never questioned either. It's extremely niave to believe schools give a shit about specifics of every divorced couple's orders.
Agreed. You SHOULD expect paid professionals to know how to act, and to act that way .... but that is not reality.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 01:34 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Oh they definitely should care. My gf didn't even have to show her order she just enrolled her kids. She's never been asked if she has custody.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 02:19 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stressed76 View Post
Lol whether or not you believe me is completely irrelevant in my life. I did report her to the Principal. I enrolled my son in high school with the same document and they never contacted my ex. My gf enrolled her younger kids in school and it was never questioned either. It's extremely niave to believe schools give a shit about specifics of every divorced couple's orders.
I am of a different opinion that it is naive in the year 2013, with a divorce rate of nearly 50% of all marriages for any person in a school to operate in contravention of the the law and their own governing Act. I am also of the opinion that if you accept that these professionals shouldn't be educated on the basic concepts of what they are permitted to do under common legislation and standard every-day terminology ("joint custody") then you are the naive one.

Furthermore, if you accept this then you accept and have through your lack of action demonstrated to the court that you do not wish to be a "joint custodial parent" and have through your failure to exercise your respective rights as a joint custodial parent demonstrated a possible admission against your own interest that you have relinquished sole custody to the other parent.

If you want advice on how to resolve the problem and with all professionals involved in the matters of your custodial rights to your children then, might I recommend you find a "emotional" support forum where your lamenting will be believed.

I am of the strong opinion that your consistent failure to act to protect your custodial rights to the child/ren in question leave a lot of questions as to your intent (and ability) to be a custodial parent.

If you want to roll over and not act in accordance with what is ordered or agreed upon then, your order and/or agreement is not worth the paper it is written on. You are the exact reason that these organizations and professionals working at these institutes do not respect joint custodial parents and make false presumptions to custody.

Maybe, just maybe if you and the other lamenters who come to this forum seek to have these organizations respect the law (for which an order is by the way, even if unique to your situation) and more importantly the other parent respect the order there would be less issues with under-educated support staff in schools, hospitals and other organizations allowing parents to make unilateral decisions without consent of the other *joint custodial* parent.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 02:23 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,486
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Agreed. You SHOULD expect paid professionals to know how to act, and to act that way .... but that is not reality.
The reason they don't act that way is because people allow them to operate on false assumptions and incorrect information constantly and give up... This being the case on point...

Mess covered all the relevant points in this thread already:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...00/#post145795
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...00/#post145801
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 08-27-2013, 02:27 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
stressed76 has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Oh good lord. It must be amazing to be the perfect parent and never make a misstep when handling the legalities of all this mess. Unfortunately I am not perfect and don't pretend to be. Sitting behind the computer judging people you don't know makes you an extremely special and important person...

Thank you to the people that have provided advice on the questions asked rather than nonsense commentary. You guys have been a great resource!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Moving closer to the NCP... Should I? stressedmama Parenting Issues 3 07-30-2012 12:38 PM
Is Moving costs section 7? cashcow4ex Financial Issues 33 03-09-2012 08:43 AM
Stopping CP from moving? ForwardFromHere Divorce & Family Law 3 05-14-2010 12:58 PM
Ex moving kids please help Desperate Dad Divorce & Family Law 8 07-24-2009 09:03 PM
Urgent need of HELP - Moving Issues CatvsLion Parenting Issues 4 10-20-2005 10:08 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:56 AM.