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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2013, 01:15 PM
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Default Ex claiming he never received my emails

I guess this question is directed at the more savy IT people out there.

My ex now claims because he blocked my email address he has not been receiving any of my emails over the past few months.

However, none of my emails bounce back and he has copied me into emails he sent to the school and I received his email.

Last week I emailed him informing him I would not be able to drop off the kids that evening and could he possibly pick them up. Received a call from his mother that morning asking me to confirm if I was dropping off the kids or did I want them to pick them up because her son had to work.

Is there any case law or any personal experiences that anyone can share when the opposing party incorrectly claims they were not getting any emails, but there is evidence to indicate that they in fact did receive them?
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:08 PM
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If he blocked them, it would not bounce back to you. You can test this by creating a test email account at the same domain (assuming it is not a business email) and sending an email to it.

By blocking them, he has chosen not to read them. Just the same as if he had decided just to not open them, or never check his email. Only the fact that he decided not to read them (and admitted as much) is relevant. How he did that (blocking) is not relevant.

Do you have anything in your order about HOW you are supposed to communicate?

How often do you email him? Is there any chance you could be over-communicating?

Personally, I would not rely on email to arrange a change of plans the same day.

Last edited by dinkyface; 05-06-2013 at 02:11 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:15 PM
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So, all the information related to the childrens medical appointments, extra curriculum activities, information about their medical needs, request for an adjustment to Child Support, payment towards medical expenses, assistance with special section seven expenses is all for naught?

Can he now explain his failure to attend medical appointments, extra curriculum activities by claiming he never got the information/details because he never received the emails?

I also sent him offers to settle/request for disclosure via registered mail which confirmed delivery/receipt, but yes, he could claim he never actually opened the envelope.

Just occured to me: it is not the fact that he refused to accept the emails (by allegedly blocking me) but the fact that I sent emails to him regularly related to the children which is significant. I guess at least I have a record of that, should he claim...she never notified me.

If he claims that he could not attend such and such an appointment because of lack of information, is the Judge not likely to say...she sent you the information, that you refused to open the email or delete it or had it blocked is on you?

Last edited by Nadia; 05-06-2013 at 02:21 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Do you have anything in your order about HOW you are supposed to communicate?

How often do you email him? Is there any chance you could be over-communicating?
He was emailed as necessary. It was not every day but I would say a couple to several emails every week specifically related to the children.

I think he has been receiving my emails as evidenced by the fact that he had his mother call me on the Friday morning following an email from me. There honestly would be no other reason why his mother would call to find out whether I was dropping the children that evening or not. The regular schedule dictates that I drop off the kids on Friday evenings which I have done for the past 4 years. If there is a change of plan, I send him an email ahead of time like I did this past week thereby prompting his mother's call to me.

I think based on this alone it is reasonable for me to assume he is getting my emails. Whether he admits or denies it is neither here or there, what is significant - is it reasonable for ME to assume that he was receiving my emails as evidenced by the fact that his mother called me to confirm alternative arrangement for that evening following an email that I had sent HIM the day before

Last edited by Nadia; 05-06-2013 at 02:40 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
So, all the information related to the childrens medical appointments, extra curriculum activities, information about their medical needs, request for an adjustment to Child Support, payment towards medical expenses, assistance with special section seven expenses is all for naught?
Sadly yes, since he decided not to look at them. That is why any significant negotiation info should be sent registered mail, or by proper services, if in litigation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
Can he now explain his failure to attend medical appointments, extra curriculum activities by claiming he never got the information/details because he never received the emails?
Nope - he has decided not to attend by ignoring the emails.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
I also sent him offers to settle/request for disclosure via registered mail which confirmed delivery/receipt, but yes, he could claim he never actually opened the envelope.
He could, and would look extremely bad for it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
Just occured to me: it is not the fact that he refused to accept the emails (by allegedly blocking me) but the fact that I sent emails to him regularly related to the children which is significant. I guess at least I have a record of that, should he claim...she never notified me.
Exactly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
If he claims that he could not attend such and such an appointment because of lack of information, is the Judge not likely to say...she sent you the information, that you refused to open the email or delete it or had it blocked is on you?
Yup. Except ...he did not 'have it blocked' ... HE BLOCKED it! For some reason you are hesitant to understand he is making these choices.

Make sure you have your proofs safe ... perhaps you could take screen captures (Shift-Printscreen, then Edit/Paste into Paint - if using windows) of your sent emails. Because usually there is a limit to how long sent emails are kept online. There might be a better way, not sure.

Last edited by dinkyface; 05-06-2013 at 02:53 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Yup. Except ...he did not 'have it blocked' ... HE BLOCKED it! For some reason you are hesitant to understand he is making these choices.
No, I agree with you. He is making a conscious choice not to communicate via email or for that matter any other way.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:09 PM
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Nadia... try this service, which I use.

readnotify.com

You setup your email to use the service, and then you send to a special format of email address, to send to your ex. That utilizes the readnotify.com service, and allows:

- a much better method to get a "read receipt" generated, by the service, and not totally dependant on the recipient okay'ing a read receipt

- a "certified" feature, that generates a certificate, etc...that can be linked to the email, to show it was not "tampered with". ex. This certificate matches the email, which means, this is the email that was sent on such and such a day

- gives you a list of what you sent that receipient - if anything, that helps me in looking at "hmm...they still have not read/responded on issue X"

Check out their info...as it has an explanation, etc. I've been using it, and it's handy. The ex has told me same "I didn't get the email!". Then why does my email show you read it, at such and such a time. (I don't tell her that...but I can show when she lies - I'm keeping it under wraps for now, until she figures it out).

My question would be, how does your ex want to communicate then, about your child, if he's going to block email? Did he suggest something else?

If not email, use OurFamilyWizard.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:42 PM
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Appointments....advise him but don't expect him to be there. Remember it is not up to you to judge his attendance but to communicate the appointment...It can be frustrating when we set an expectation of a person to care.

Why should he attend when you make life easy for him? You control the appointments....and have issues when he does not show up.

Let him take on some of the responsibilities and be a parent.

Are you in a share custody situation or sole custody?


You just might get his attention with a monition....he seems to not be responding to anything and you seem to be wasting your time and money with letters.
.
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Old 05-06-2013, 03:55 PM
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Well, that is a very pathetic response Good_mom
We specifically have a court order in place requesting his attendance at these appointments. I don't make the appointments. The appointments are given to us by the Hospital and are provided based on service providers availablility.

I hold no expectations, only that he can't say "I was ONLY unable to get involved in my kids life or attend any medical appointments, because she refused to let me know what was going on."

And I am certainly not wasting my time by sending him Offers to Settle. They are served as per rules. If he chooses to ignore them and claims he is choosing not to open the registered letter but signing for receipt/delivery, that really does not bode well for him.

Last edited by Nadia; 05-06-2013 at 04:03 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:16 PM
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You do realize that we on the form are not mind readers...and sometimes people don't provide all the information in the post. Having to read your full bio of postings on here...way to long to do.

You are doing what is need to be done and DaD2bandm gave you a service to use so calm down and see that you are doing the best for you child.

Get the medical office to contact him directly to advise him of the appointment.

Do you sign in for the appointments? If so get a copy of this every time...prove he did not attend.

SO you are worried that he says you did not send the info and you are.

Why? He seems not be worried about attending?

What has your lawyer said about this?

If no one is holding him accountable what is the use of the court order?
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