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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 07-19-2017, 02:05 AM
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Default do your children know about custody dispute?

Is it possible to protect children from knowing about differences of opinion on access, particularly if you end up going to court over it? Did you start out trying to not let them know about it and did that work?

I'm not sure what it is called, but if you had a situation where a professional interviews your teen to report on the child's perspective for the court, how did you introduce the idea of this to the teen ahead of time?
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Old 07-24-2017, 06:06 PM
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Unfortunately our kids do know about the custody dispute. They kind of figured it out when they had to be assessed by the court appointed assessor. The experience of having to talk to her was so distressing they refuse to participate in court ordered counselling. They couldn't stand her. It also didn't help that my STBX would bring court documents to supervised visits for them to see ( he was made to put them away).
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Old 07-24-2017, 11:42 PM
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My STBX had exposed all the children into the conflict of separation. She showed them all the court documents especially the one I was serving her like affidavits with evidences. They are aware of everything and she was using it to alienate them against me. She admit in one of her affidavit that she was doing so. She succeeded with D15 as she haven't spoke to me for over a year. She uses the Court process to make me look as I want to destroy their family life by claiming my share of interest.

It is sad that the Ottawa Court doesn't do anything related to parental alienation. They will tell the mother that what she did is wrong and hope that someday D15 will go back to her father or she could regret it. At the end, mom gets away with it and everything goes as per her plan. What the judge is going to shout to her will simply enter in one ear and go through the other.

I can see now that STBX is working on D9 as she knows every single steps her mom is taking related to Court matters.
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Old 08-10-2017, 08:59 AM
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if you don't want to your kids to know what is in affidavit - don't put it in.
Remember, doesn't' matter you want it or not, they can later go online and read the whole case and make opinion of your own. Older kids are not dumb, they know internet better than us. The more dirt you throw at the other parent, more likely they'll take side of that parent and vs versa.
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Old 08-10-2017, 09:26 AM
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Or dont show them stuff. Keep it at a friends house or a family member hidden away. Tell them its not their business.

My opinion stands that people who are unreasonable always involve the kids because they want allies. Its wrong!
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Old 08-10-2017, 12:07 PM
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[QUOTE The experience of having to talk to her was so distressing they refuse to participate in court ordered counselling. They couldn't stand her.][/QUOTE]

why was it distressing for them? Did they know they would meet with her? How did you explain why this woman was interviewing them?
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Old 08-10-2017, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Or dont show them stuff. Keep it at a friends house or a family member hidden away.
Of course I don't show them stuff. I dont want them to know about any of the court stuff, and so far they don't. And they wont ever, at least not from me. I keep everything on my computer, which is password protected.
I hope my ex partner doesn't tell them.
How can they look at an afidavit? I thought the only thing public was the court decisions you find on Canlii. I noticed a lot of the time there are only people's initials, so there must be a way to request that.
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Old 08-10-2017, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Or dont show them stuff. Keep it at a friends house or a family member hidden away. Tell them its not their business.

My opinion stands that people who are unreasonable always involve the kids because they want allies. Its wrong!
All court cases are public. Kids can go later online and read it all.
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Old 08-10-2017, 09:33 PM
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Not all cases are public and healthy parents who encourage a positive relationship dont have kids who need to go looking.
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Old 08-10-2017, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Not all cases are public and healthy parents who encourage a positive relationship dont have kids who need to go looking.
Of course not, but older kids don't ask permission, they just do it, can google their parent last name. What I'm saying if you don't want your kids or public see it - don't put it in, it's not worth it.
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