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-   -   Deny access? (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f4/deny-access-1281/)

lexicon 07-10-2006 09:28 PM

Deny access?
 
I have concerns about sending the children to their dad's this week-end
Lexy my daughter has come back from their dad's this past week-end and seems
hurt emotionally, she has said she wishes she was dead, I hate myself and wishes she could run away. All of which a 6 yr old wouldn't understand without someone filling her head with info. meaning my x has likely said to her
that he wishes he was dead b/c of what I ( mom ) have done to him. I have real concerns of him harming her emotionally for the rest of her life. I have never heard or seen this behaviour to this extent before. It makes me sad and angry for their dad to hurt his children in that way just to get back at me.
What steps could I take to protect my children?

logicalvelocity 07-10-2006 09:52 PM

lexicon,

Has your daughter mentioned anything to you directly that perhaps your ex has said something to her.

lv

lexicon 07-10-2006 10:03 PM

on several occasions
 
she has informed me that he hates Brad, her step-dad.
she has said that I am the reason he can't see her/them even though he doesn't see them as often as his access would allow.
she has said that he told her that she left me and will leave you.
this is just a few ex. of what she has told us.

logicalvelocity 07-10-2006 10:25 PM

lexicon,

you could call the local Children's Aid Society. If this type of emotional abuse is going on it should be stopped immediately. I think you have grounds to protect your child from further abuse. Have you spoken to your ex about any of this?

lv

lexicon 07-10-2006 11:04 PM

thanks for the replies
 
I will be calling childrens aid tomrrow.
As for speaking to my x. I have tried to speak to him on numerous occasions without success b/c he blames me for everything, which often leads into long withdrawn arguments. Perhaps I wil try e-mailing him.

logicalvelocity 07-11-2006 12:54 PM

lexicon,

If your ex is indeed saying these things to your child, I think your ex needs counselling and some parential courses such as "Kids first" - a workshop geared towards the impact of divorce and separation on children.

A child does not need to hear those types of comments. I agree it will detrimental to her well being.

lv

almost1yearout 10-16-2006 10:35 PM

denying access
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lexicon
I have concerns about sending the children to their dad's this week-end
Lexy my daughter has come back from their dad's this past week-end and seems
hurt emotionally, she has said she wishes she was dead, I hate myself and wishes she could run away. All of which a 6 yr old wouldn't understand without someone filling her head with info. meaning my x has likely said to her
that he wishes he was dead b/c of what I ( mom ) have done to him. I have real concerns of him harming her emotionally for the rest of her life. I have never heard or seen this behaviour to this extent before. It makes me sad and angry for their dad to hurt his children in that way just to get back at me.
What steps could I take to protect my children?

This is the exact same dilemma I am now facing. I know my lawyer will say you can't breach the court order blah blah blah. I've told my d9 that she can call me and I will come get her if she needs to get away from her Dad.
Is CAS really the only answer?
So what if I go and rescue my d9 and s4 from him? what can he do?
what other options do I have?

Tangled 11-21-2006 12:35 PM

Interim Agreement/Access Issue
 
I was currently faced with the same issues. My three childeren were present when my x flipped out on me. I was at his(our matrimonial) home to pick them kids up for a mid week visit when he started yelling at me. I remained calm and when I took the kids home with me, I apolojized for his behavior. It was then that the kids told me they didn't want to go back to their dads. I was then told by my lawyer to call a thrid party in. I called a family resource worker over to ask the kids what they wanted. She then listened to them and then was instructed to call my x to explain what impact his actions had on the kids. Unfortunately, the kids had to go back to his home the next day. :( I had no right to keep them. I had to force them to go back with him. I guess I should mention that my x and I have an interim agreement that the children spend 2 weeks with him then 2 weeks with me. I am not in agreeance with this however I felt I had no option but to agree. We have been at this for 9 months. The only option I feel I have is to go to court.
But in the meantime 2 of the 3 children are asking me if they can run away to my home. My lawyer says it would look bad on his part if the children walked out of his home to be me but I am afraid that I would start the visious cycle again and only be forced to take them back to him.
Has anyone else experienced this?

smadax 11-24-2006 01:13 PM

Relevant Information
 
How old are all of the children in question?

Family Justice told me that it's still our responsiblity to keep the children safe regardless of what our Custody Order states. However, the burden of proof is on the Custodial parent to prove the danger, to my understanding it has to be deemed a physical danger to be taken seriously by the Courts for an interim order.

In our instance, the Judge only appointed mediation... which the ex has refused to attend. Now we're obligated to file additional paperwork to make a Motion for enforcement, or restriction of access. In the meantime, we're in breech if we deny access! It all seems so defeiting!!


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