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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 02-08-2013, 02:21 PM
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Default Dentist Appointments

About a year ago, I added my bf's children to my benefits... at the time, neither Mom nor Dad had benefits through their employers. About 6 months later Mom's benefits kicked in the the kids were basically full covered. In early June, Mom called and said she took S7 to the dentist and he needed about $4000 worth of dental work done... a few teeth needed pulled and some needed fillings... originally my benefits were set up that we had to mail in a receipt and then we were reimbursed for the bill... however neither of us had the money to pay up front for these costs, so I spoke to my company and asked if there was a way for the dentist to submit them on our behalf... it took a few weeks, but we were able to make the switch.

We received a print out from the dentist on what needed done and the costs associated. Since everything was now set up to be submitted directly from the dentist, we expected S7 to get the work done he required. However, he went to one appointment in July and had one tooth fixed... the other appointments she set up were cancelled. She is the CP, however we have offered to take him to his appointments if she is unable to, We have offered to make the appointments and take the child so she didn't have to worry but she always says no. We are not sure what is going on, but you can tell this poor child needs his teeth fixed.

They have joint custody and as such, he must inform her when there are appointments. We made one for the child in September and she called and cancelled it, saying the child was sick and couldn't make it. It was not until we got there that she told us about this and refused to let Dad see his son.

We are ensure the children brush their teeth every morning and night when they are with us, but because they spend the majority of the time with Mom, it is hard to ensure it gets done there... according to the S7 (and we take this with a grain of salt), they are not made to brush their teeth at Mom's and often forget.

What exactly, if anything, can we do about this?
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Old 02-08-2013, 04:14 PM
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We had the same problem when my husband's oldest needed braces. He'd make the appointment and the Mom would cancel it. He finally succeeded on the 3rd try after telling her she wouldn't have to pay for any of it.

He needs to ask Mom what the problem is. Carry on with the tooth brushing at your house and encourage them to do the same at home.

FYI... Mom's benefits cover the dental work first before yours.
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Old 02-08-2013, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by paris View Post
FYI... Mom's benefits cover the dental work first before yours.
Perhaps...perhaps not.

That is pretty dependant on the benefit/insurance providers involved.
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Old 02-08-2013, 05:10 PM
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I got confirmation from a government agency a few years back. My husband and I had both received cheques from our insurance for almost the full amount billed, and we had to get it sort out. Both companies said we should send the cheque back.

The agency I contacted said CP, NCP, CP's spouse, NCP's spouse... in that order.

I'd have to dig a bit to tell you which agency that was, but it had something to do with insurance regulations.
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:19 PM
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Dad has tried to speak to Mom about it and she always says she will handle it, although it never seems to happen... he is going to contact the dentist next week and speak to him inquiring about if he makes appointments, that only he can cancel them. If that fails... would it be possible for us to take the child to a dentist around our area? We have one who we see who is open late and open on Saturdays, they are more of a "walk in" type clinic for a lack of a better word.

As for the benefits, she must run them through her benefits first as she is the CP, then when it comes to out benefits, I must run them through my benefits before their father, as my birth date is before his. That is the way our benefits work anyways, but his don't kick in for 3 months yet.
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Old 02-09-2013, 04:03 AM
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I'm surprised the dentist doesn't start charging for the cancelled appointments.

Sounds like mom and dad need to get together and meet with the dentist. I'd suggest that parents might speak to the dentist about the importance of the child's treatment and ongoing preventative dental recall visits. Appointments could be booked at that time with the understanding that if one parent cancels, that parent will be charged the 75.00 cancellation fee (which I'm sure isn't covered by insurance).

You could ask the dentist to make the arrangements for the consultation.
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