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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-16-2010, 03:16 PM
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Default Denial off access

Today, my ex's father decided to deny access of my son to my spouse who had come to pick him up for his scheduled over-night switch day visit. I need some advise on how to proceed.
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Old 11-16-2010, 03:23 PM
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I received an email on Sunday night from my ex stating that my son was sick and would not be attending school, which is fine. Last night I got another email from my ex, asking to arrange pick-up of my son stating that he had stayed with her father as she need to go to work. We had made arrangements to have him dropped off at a half way point, at my spouses work.

Today, we received another email stating that my son was still sick and that he was going to a doctors appointment with my ex's father. After getting that email, my spouse left work and traveled to the doctor's office to meet my ex's father and pick-up my son.

My spouse stayed for the appointment and was told by my ex's father afterward that my son was not coming home with her.

This is the first time I have been denied access by my ex however she has threatened it before.

My question to you is what do I do about this?
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Old 11-16-2010, 03:28 PM
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Option one: Wait for court (settlement conference in January 2011)
Option two: Travel back down tonight to pick him up in person? --with or without the help of the police.
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Old 11-16-2010, 03:36 PM
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Pharah,
Ug... you must be SO frustrated.

Put rinse repeat in the search box and look for HammerDad's posts. He states what to do in this situation very simply.

Good luck
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Old 11-16-2010, 03:48 PM
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If your spouse witnessed the child going to the doctors and you have had no other real issues regarding access or denial etc, then maybe the doctor suggested to child return home and stay put. I think you should just let it be for this time.
Children especially when not feeling well, go from really sick, to feeling better to being sick again.
I would just let it be. They could produce a letter from the doctor showing the child was sick so that might backfire.
Choose your battles wisely.
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Old 11-16-2010, 03:50 PM
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They can deny your spouse, they CANNOT deny YOU, especially if you have a court order.

The ex's father has NO authority over the issue at all. Go pick the kid up in person, send an email to the ex outlining the issues and that from now on you and SHE must do the exchanges as obviously her father is interfering.
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:12 PM
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The child isn't feeling well...

How is it in his "best interests" to be dragged away by the police?

I agree with Tug... let the child rest, and send off an email with the intent to make arrangements for a make-up access time.

I am not trying to trivialize your situation, but one missed exchange, due to illness, is hardly a "denial of access".
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:15 PM
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I agree with Tug and RS. Acknowledge that the child was ill and request make-up access. That is the mature and responsible thing to do. If you go over there with guns a-blazin then you are going to get burned! Does your sick child really need to be dealing with this right now?
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:20 PM
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My Spouse attended the doctors appointment and although my son was not ready to return to school his symptoms did not merit her being denied access to him. That said, you are right, getting the police involved will not help anyone.

Thanks all for keeping me sane.
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:23 PM
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I guess the real question is how to avoid this in the future using a parallel parenting model and a switch day?

Our case is in settlement and my ex had agreed to settle. Not sure how to word this one in the offer...
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