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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 11-24-2013, 01:48 AM
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Default De-programming in Ottawa or Toronto

De-programming of alienated children s10 (11 months) and d12 (4 months).
Anyone provide referral to Parental Alienation de-programming service in Ottawa or Toronto? (positive service, efficient and cost effective)

After months of a truly damaging experience in many aspects to our two children, and the parents, I suspect a change in circumstance.
The formal label of Parental Alienation attached by: custody evaluator, judge and Psychologist will be actioned. (apparently by CAS this week: mental harm)

Without getting into details of the situation and cutting to the chase, if you have experience or exposure of PA de-programming in the Ottawa or Toronto area, please provide the details. Additionally, I have genuine interest in what steps I can make as a loving, responsible parent to improve the uncomfortable experience of welcoming and comforting my kids back into my home. Know this is a marathon and not a sprint. This is an endeavour I know is absolutely worth the struggle I anticipate (from quite alienated son, and fairly alienated daughter)

Thanks
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Old 11-24-2013, 09:27 AM
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talk to your family doctor and see what they suggest.
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Old 11-24-2013, 09:48 PM
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I would recommend you also read a lot on the topic find other forums in all over North America, Iam sure other parents have had to deal with it and they can give you an idea of what works and what doesn't.
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Old 11-25-2013, 02:30 AM
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The book Divorce Poison is a good resource to find strategies to counter Parental Alienation.

http://www.amazon.ca/Divorce-Poison-.../dp/0061863262

While I haven't used her Lena K. Jones is a name I have heard of in the ottawa area that is very experienced in complex family situations and helping children and families work through them.
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Old 11-25-2013, 10:35 AM
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Kidsrworth it - tried sending you a PM and your mailbox is full. Let me know when you have emptied it and I will send you a PM.
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:43 PM
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Default PM inbox emptied

Hello Serene,

I emptied my PM inbox. Can you kindly send me that message?

Much appreciated!
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SingingDad View Post
The book Divorce Poison is a good resource to find strategies to counter Parental Alienation.

http://www.amazon.ca/Divorce-Poison-.../dp/0061863262

While I haven't used her Lena K. Jones is a name I have heard of in the ottawa area that is very experienced in complex family situations and helping children and families work through them.
Read the book. Felt it was a very worthwhile read, and unfortunately, much rang true for me. I enjoyed the practical approaches illustrated to counter DP.

My two children are now alienated from me (s10 and d12 - d12 only in last few months). I am dealing with an extremely High Conflict ex who does not respect court orders. I suspect and hope that when contempt of custody order motion is heard - there will be noticeable change in custody.

I am hopeful that change in custody is ordered and respected. In this case I want to prepare my house and life to lovingly, and supportively accept my kids back into their/my life. I would like to glean some insight on how best to prepare for this and make the experience as beneficial and supportive as possible for my kids and myself.
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Old 11-28-2013, 07:46 AM
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Did a lot of reading on HCPs over the past few weeks as we too are dealing with one. Some practical advice:

You cannot rid yourself of the source of the stress (the other parent) so you must try to gain some control over how to manage YOUR communications with them.

Remember that HCPs are connected to people thru conflict and continue to make conflict to maintain any sort of relationship, good or bad.
They have a lack of self awareness.
They never look for solutions but always look for someone to blame.

Therefore: Communicate in a reasonable way. Satisfy reasonable requests only. Ignore the rest. The test to apply is "What would I want to know" and "What would a reasonable person expect or respond".

Kidsrworthit - Will send you the PM
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Old 11-30-2013, 01:00 PM
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If you are looking for an assessment that could identify PA Alex Weingberger is one of the few Psychologists in Ottawa that will do it.

Gilmour Psychological Services | Dr. Alex Weinberger, C.Psych
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Old 11-30-2013, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SingingDad View Post
If you are looking for an assessment that could identify PA Alex Weingberger is one of the few Psychologists in Ottawa that will do it.

Gilmour Psychological Services | Dr. Alex Weinberger, C.Psych
PA has been identified by a Psychologist. I am interested in what I can do as the target parent to prepare myself for the ideal situation where a "temporary" change in circumstance is ordered by the court. I want to do my utmost to prepare for comforting and supporting my kids when they are in my parenting care and they repeat the "programmed" comments of my HCP ex.

Checked Chapters and found mainly books on identifying what Parental Alienation is and how to address/minimize it (like Divorce Poison). I have not found anything specifically to address how to move forward with kids who have been poisoned by one parent, when there is a change in custody.

Anyone have suggestions, I'm all ears. Thanks
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