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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 05-02-2012, 08:47 AM
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Default Day Care Costs/ Access Phone Calls

So two questions:

I've recently headed back to work from mat leave. I've offered several ways to actually start getting some day care costs back from my ex. He firsts accused me of not sending them at all on my days. I offered to take pics of them at drop off or pic up. He then asked for receipts when he paid. I agreed as that's completely fair. Then he demands receipts before payment, which I then provide. He writes void across every receipt and says he doesn't agree with the amount. He knows the cost of day care. He's spoke to her about them. My lawyer has sent a letter asking for him to start paying. Still nothing after a week. This is really starting to affect me financially. Case Conference booked for June. Is there any way I can get some of the costs back before then?

Now the phone calls. We call every night to talk to our eldest son while in the others care. Several missed phone calls, several extremely late phone calls on his part. I've been denied a few. Most of his calls are under a minute. He asks inappropriate questions during the calls, like, "What's mommy doing?" Just recently, my mom was here and our little guy told the ex that. Ex blew up my phone demanding to know who was watching the kids. I've tried to address the inappropriate questions and late calls. They just keep happening. Our little guy has actually been frustrated with the calls when the ex interrupts him to say goodbye. So how do I move forward? Do the calls even serve any sort of purpose at this point? We have no written agreement. I just feel like I'm stuck dealing with a control freak who keeps sticking our son right in the middle to keep his hand in my life. I'd say our little guy is more upset with them at this point. Especially the missed calls. I have him sitting waiting for the call. Thoughts on what I should do here?

Thanks Again!
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Old 05-02-2012, 10:11 AM
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You know what my response is on this...

On top of that, ask for a drug test!
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:28 PM
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On top of that, ask for a drug test!
This will be happening.
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:59 AM
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Do you currently have a court order for section 7 expenses?

You get the daycare provider to give you receipts. You then turn around, scan them into the computer and email the ex (CC his lawyer as well if you like) requesting he reimburse you his proportional share within 30 business days.

Ensure the child care provider's contact information is present on the receipt, so if he has any questions he can contact her regarding the dates/times in question.

Day 31: You send a registered letter, signature required, with copies of the receipts requesting payment with 10 days of receipt

On day 11 (IF you have a court order) you file a contempt of court motion, asking for costs and for payment of section 7.

Eventually the judges will get tired of dealing with his shit and will start allowing the costs.

If you DO NOT currently have a court order, you take the receipts, print the email, get the prove of service thing from the registered letter and include that in your court hearing. (You ask for the costs to be paid out)

The court will NOT give you what you do not ask for.
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Old 05-06-2012, 02:12 PM
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Just wanted to say that him asking "what's mommy doing?" may not be innappropriate.

I don't really care what my ex does - but I try to ask questions about his mom and stuff in order to make it seem like we both kinda get along and I'm interested in his life while he's there.

Maybe he's fishing for dirt (I guess probably), but maybe he's just trying to be inclusive with your kids.

Just something to think about.
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
Do you currently have a court order for section 7 expenses?

You get the daycare provider to give you receipts. You then turn around, scan them into the computer and email the ex (CC his lawyer as well if you like) requesting he reimburse you his proportional share within 30 business days.

Ensure the child care provider's contact information is present on the receipt, so if he has any questions he can contact her regarding the dates/times in question.

Day 31: You send a registered letter, signature required, with copies of the receipts requesting payment with 10 days of receipt

On day 11 (IF you have a court order) you file a contempt of court motion, asking for costs and for payment of section 7.

Eventually the judges will get tired of dealing with his shit and will start allowing the costs.

If you DO NOT currently have a court order, you take the receipts, print the email, get the prove of service thing from the registered letter and include that in your court hearing. (You ask for the costs to be paid out)

The court will NOT give you what you do not ask for.
Thanks for the great advice! No court order as of yet. Will be asking for any unpaid day care costs though.
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Just wanted to say that him asking "what's mommy doing?" may not be innappropriate.

I don't really care what my ex does - but I try to ask questions about his mom and stuff in order to make it seem like we both kinda get along and I'm interested in his life while he's there.

Maybe he's fishing for dirt (I guess probably), but maybe he's just trying to be inclusive with your kids.

Just something to think about.
It is a completely innocent question if the conversations were longer then 24 seconds most nights. I kid you not this is how it goes. "Hi child. What's mom doing? Ok (interrupts child) two more sleeps till dad's, love you, ok bye, ok bye, ok bye." On top of the stalking and texts most times when I leave the house without the kids, oh and harassing emails. I also remove our child from toys and such to except the phone calls. Our son ends up getting frustrated and upset that he never got to finish telling him about his day. It's sad as I know of people who are stuck in the opposite position with ex's who don't help facilitate the calls. What can you do? You can't fix stupid, right?
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Old 05-08-2012, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy123 View Post
It is a completely innocent question if the conversations were longer then 24 seconds most nights. I kid you not this is how it goes. "Hi child. What's mom doing? Ok (interrupts child) two more sleeps till dad's, love you, ok bye, ok bye, ok bye." On top of the stalking and texts most times when I leave the house without the kids, oh and harassing emails. I also remove our child from toys and such to except the phone calls. Our son ends up getting frustrated and upset that he never got to finish telling him about his day. It's sad as I know of people who are stuck in the opposite position with ex's who don't help facilitate the calls. What can you do? You can't fix stupid, right?
Try to be doing the exact same thing every time your ex calls. After a week or two of "Mommy's sweeping the floor" for his answer, maybe he'll give up?
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Old 05-09-2012, 10:14 AM
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mommy's working on court documents =P
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:12 PM
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Quote:
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mommy's working on court documents =P
hahaha PRICELESS!

I do think me doing a repetivive activity might help. Might.....something to try at least. Thanks!
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