Custodial Parent... by choice

[Reride]

I have a few questions. Separated 20 months ago. X has refused any moving forward with reguards to assets, matrimonial home, properties, children issues etc. Was forced to leave matrimonial home with children 5 months after filing as I had no means to heat house etc.
For 4 months I had to drive youngest child to school every morning and pick her up every afternoon as we had moved out of her school zone. Transferred her to new school as it was costing me $200 wkly in fuel. Told X I was doing so, he verbally agreed. (he lived with new gf )
To this day, I am sole provider for my children. X has refused all attempts for CS. My question is.... because of my situation and his refusal to support and actually have a relationship with his children, can I be in trouble for this? I am caring for my children 100% with no input from X as he chooses not to. I realize this means I don't have 100% say in what goes on with my 12 yr old (other is 19 now) but in the eyes of the law can I be faulted for "having" to assume full parental?

[amazedbyitall]

support and visits have nothing to do with each other - he does have a right to see the children . However you have a right to get support for the children its the law ! cut and dry , apply for support

[NBDad]

Nope. If he argues the fact that you denied him the ability to play a role, it's reasonable to assume he made attempts at it which were rebuffed.

In other words, you can prove that you have been the full time/sole parent since the split. If he challenges that, it's NOT enough for him to simply claim it, he has to be able to back that up or it doesn't mean anything.

Welcome to Family Law 101....he (or she as the case may be) with the best and most solid documentation usually "wins". (it's family law...maybe "loses least" is a better phrase)

Do you have a lawyer? If not, get yourself down to the Family Law center or see if you can get a consult somewhere. You need to get cracking on the CS issue. It's NOT optional, support is the right of the child and at a minimum you should get an interim order for CS until all the other issues are dealt with.

[Berner_Faith]

Faulted...not at all...mind you, you should be doing your best to promote a relationship between your ex and his children...email is the best way to have a paper trail... even though he is not paying CS you should still encourage a relationship... You now what sole custody (and correct me if I am wrong) but in sole custody you don't have to discuss al matters with the ex... my bf has joint custody of his children, and him and his stbx have to communicate on almost every decision pertaining to the children.

People with more knowledge will come aboard soon, but my question is, are you pusing matters forward? Do you have a lawyer?

Best of luck...and don't worry...you will not be in trouble for providing for your children.

[Reride]

Thank you all for your comments. Just to answer and clarify a few questions.
Yes, I do have a lawyer. This is my second one. The first took 8G's from me without any results or movement. I retained another lawyer, fowarded all my financials,assets, debt etc. to her , plus all the other transactions that went on with previous lawyer. X is now onto his fourth lawyer....it's like beginning all over again each time he changes. To this day he has not submitted one documented asked by either his or my lawyer. My lawyer felt she could no longer wait on him as she saw his stall tactics. He was served in October and our court date is in January. I've already attended my MIP session and followed all the steps that were appropriate. I'm sure my lawyer is pursuing CS at court as all other efforts were denied on his part.

I do, VERY much support a relationship between my children and their dad. It is my X that denies this. I do not have a speaking relationship with my X. He was very emotionally abusive... not only to myself. My youngest does and has tried repeatedly to see her dad. He is living with his gf and her younger children. So, if my child calls to see him...if its on the weekend that his gf's children see their dad...he says he's busy or working..... most times then not the answer to her (if he answers cell) is that he is busy.....maybe next weekend.......
I am in no way stopping a relationship between my kids and their dad. I believe both ( X and children) need that relationship. It comes down to X not wanting to spend the time.

So, although lawyers and court have not determined sole or joint ( I prefer joint for the relationship) I have been given no choice in the matter except to be there 100% for my kids... just how it has always been.
That also pertains to me paying 100% of all expenses re: dental,perscriptions etc. Youngest has been patient at Sick Kids from birth and requires special meds and ongoing care...to which I see to .
What I'm trying to say is it has been left to me to play both roles.... I would love X to play a role in our children's life..... he just plain of simple chooses not to

[Berner_Faith]

This is sad for the children that he is deciding to do this... keep your head high, from what you are saying you have all your ducks in a row...things will work themselves out...for now, document all the attemps, of you and your children for Dad access times (and the times he denies), as well as any Section 7 expenses you occur... he is responsible for a portion of these.

Best of luck... keep us posted.