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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-03-2012, 01:34 AM
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Default Any Long term ramifications/youth theft/breach/guilty?

My son, under 16 was charged w/ theft, then
Breached the conditions. Charged again, I made the call.
Very difficult for me, but he got the message. His father is supporting him in pleading innocent. This says that I filed a false statement, which I did not.
My ex is throwing it all back to me and instructed me to get our son legal aid.
Im considered a witness at this point, a conflict of interest. Also by me helping our son, my ex states that it will probably better my relationship with my son and I. How manipulating.

My question is , will there be any "long term ramifications" in my sons future which may effect him from getting certain jobs etc?

Does the charge really get wiped away, or not exactly? I do know that the youth justice criminal act protects youth from employers questioning them about past charges.

Duty Council told my ex and my son that if he pleads guilty it will haunt him. I am interested in knowing "exactly" what the long term ramifications are, if any. I just want my son to tell the truth, deal with the consequences and learn from these mistakes, and make better choices from now on.
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Old 09-03-2012, 01:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enoughalready11 View Post
My son, under 16 was charged w/ theft, then
Breached the conditions. Charged again, I made the call.
Very difficult for me, but he got the message. His father is supporting him in pleading innocent. This says that I filed a false statement, which I did not.
My ex is throwing it all back to me and instructed me to get our son legal aid.
Im considered a witness at this point, a conflict of interest. Also by me helping our son, my ex states that it will probably better my relationship with my son and I. How manipulating.

My question is , will there be any "long term ramifications" in my sons future which may effect him from getting certain jobs etc?

Does the charge really get wiped away, or not exactly? I do know that the youth justice criminal act protects youth from employers questioning them about past charges.

Duty Council told my ex and my son that if he pleads guilty it will haunt him. I am interested in knowing "exactly" what the long term ramifications are, if any. I just want my son to tell the truth, deal with the consequences and learn from these mistakes, and make better choices from now on.
From my experience, with a very similar situation, there shouldn't be any long term ramifications. Assuming he's been charged as a young offender and not as an adult, the records should be sealed.

On a side note, if he's pleading not guilty, it seems as though he didn't 'get the message and isn't taking responsibility for his actions. Ignore what your ex is dong, saying and demanding of you and encourage your son to do the right thing. If he did the crime, he should plead guilty, accept the consequences and make better choices in the future. Pleading not guilty regardless of the reason or what duty council said, is wrong. Not to mention it does him no favours if he gets off these charges and continues the behaviour in the future thinking he'll get off again. End the pattern of behaviour now while he's still young enough that his future WON'T be affected by it.
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:05 AM
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^ totally agree ^ Attempting to lie his way through this (and being encouraged by 'dad') is not going to help him to get on the right path. Rather, he will treat his actions, and the system like a joke. No respect, no regard.
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:49 AM
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Yes I do agree also. I have encouraged him to tell
The truth, let the consequences fall where they may and
in future make wiser choices. The breach did put
a stop to all the misbehaviours etc for the summer
At least. He knows that telling the truth is what I am
strongly encouraging him to do.
Thank you Blinkandgone and Hadenough .
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:55 AM
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To clarify: the "not guilty" plea is in regards to the breach, correct? Did he enter a guilty plea on the original theft charge?

It is unfortunate to say the least, that his father is in his "corner" so to speak and encouraging him to be untruthful. What a disgrace. And what access does the father have to the teen? Is it 50/50 or EOW?
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Old 09-03-2012, 12:53 PM
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Ahhhh yes.. Another classic reply from our darling Slug in the peanut gallery. Ignore him enoughalready - you will get responsible advice from other members of this forum. Apparently, or so it seems - Slug thinks stealing and lying is ok. Let's not hijack the thread now - this parent needs good, sound advice.

Last edited by hadenough; 09-03-2012 at 01:22 PM.
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Old 09-03-2012, 01:41 PM
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Most young offenders who do their time do learn their lesson and their records are sealed .They seal these records to give these kids a chance to do right and grow .However if they learn to work the system ....then you've made a criminal, instead of a lapse of judgement.

You did the right thing and if one of mine has that same lapse of judgement I would do exactly what you did.The world doesn't need any more dirtbags without honour, decency or even a basic sense of responsibility.Kudos on you for trying to raise your kid right.
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:10 PM
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A conviction will show up when trying to cross into the States.
Once noted, and entered into the system they use over there - it will be on file forever. Young Offender or not. This is the US's system - our laws do not apply.

On a personal note: I feel awful similar to Slug on this one. Of coarse without knowing the condition he breached, and was told on for, I will not be as vocal about it.

Don't be surprised if he returns the favour one day, Mom. I would make certain never to have more than 1 drink before driving in his presence if I were you.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 09-03-2012 at 02:15 PM.
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:22 PM
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Just my personal opinion here, but it drives me insane when parents try to bail their children out... as far as I am concerned, if a child does something wrong they need to accept the consequences. Some children need to sit in the drunk tank or jail for a day or so, how else are they to learn?

An example from my personal life, bf's younger brother has been charged with theft 3 times and drug usage/selling 6 times... EACH time his mother bails him out and each time he does it again... just yesterday his mother and her bf received a visit from the kids "dealer", whom he owed money to. The dealer destroyed their car and attempted to start their house on fire...

Had that kid sat in jail the first couple times, maybe he would realize that at 16 he doesn't want this lifestyle.

As parents we are to direct and guide our children, but we shouldn't be making excuses for them. If they are making choices that negatively impact their lives, they need to learn the hard way... tough love anyone?
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:23 PM
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The issue with states crossing will cost a couple of hundred bucks to go away permanently but it can be done.Its a question of asking them to sort of pardon the offence so you can travel freely between the countries.Its not the end of the world but it ,like most things in life ,will cost you.
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