Am I responsible for Irresponsible 20 year old

[Gwen]

status: attempting to get a separation agreement after 1.5 years after my wife walked out
2 kids - 18 & 20
My income - mid 30s

My daughter, who is now 20 years old, graduated from high school in June 2003. After graduation, she left the family home & moved to Barrie with her boyfriend against my wishes. While in Barrie, she was employed in a full time capacity. The relationship only lasted until Sept 2003 and she returned home where she basically bummed around for a year. In June 2004, my wife walked out after 20 years of marrige. My daughter started university in Sept 2004 which meant that she had been out of school/on her own since June 2003. She financed her first year university with student loans. Her school year consisted of partying, going to the bars, she smokes, eats out at fast food restaurants, drove her boyfriend's 4x4 truck everywhere, went on weekend trips to Montreal, Quebec City, ran up cell phone bills of $2000 & basically had a very good time - her marks were in the mid 50s. She ran out of $$$ and my wife gave her $1200 to help her get through the school year. (those funds were paid back from summer employment earnings)

She returned home in May 2005 and worked the summer earning in excess of $800/2 week period. She took off 3 weeks of work for her vacation. In September 2005 she returned to school but moved in with her 24 year old boyfriend and they're talking about getting married. She did not have any funds left from her summer employment as she had to pay the collection agency for the cell phone bill & pay back her mother $1200. The rest she partied away.

My wife is going after not only monthly child support but 1/3 of her university expenses. As well, she wants me to pay her back 1/2 of the $1200 that she loaned to our daughter even though it has been repaid.

I do not feel that I'm responsible as she has established herself as an adult since June 2003. I also do not agree with her lifestyle & feel that any additional funds would just be partied away.

What should I do as my lawyer doesn't appear to be getting anywhere?

G

[lammie]

Interesting question. I don't know the details of the law as I am not a lawyer. One would think, though, that your daughter is an adult now and so you are not obligated to pay for her college tuition, even if your wife chooses to do so herself.

An expert can feel free to correct me, but I don't think there is any entitlement there.

[Gwen]

This is exactly my feelings as well but I'm being called a negligent parent for not being co-operative about contributing to my daughter's education.

Get this.... I earn about $35,000/year. My ex wants child support for my 18 year old son who is in his last year of high school and my 20 year daughter. I have NO problems paying child support for my son. She also wants me to pay 1/3 of each one of the kids university expenses - my son will attend university in Sept 05. Considering that they cannot live at home while attending post secondary school, it would be $5000/each. The other 2/3s would be 1/3 from the ex (if she paid?????) and the other 1/3 from the child. Do the math - $6000 approx in child support and $10,000 for post secondary education = $16,000 after tax $$$$$$ from a gross income of $35,000. I figure that I would have about $10,000 to live on

The whole thing just doesn't make sense as my daughter got approx $11,000 in student loans. She says that if she gets any additional funds from her parents, that she'll just have more $$$$ to have fun with. My son basically says the same.

Would any judge go along with this proposal?????

G

[Grace]

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/child-support-end.htm

[logicalvelocity]

Sounds like your daughter is living in a common law relationship if indeed she is living with her boyfriend regardless if she is attending school or not.

I think you have to proof this fact that indeed they are a couple rather than just room mates.

[Gwen]

My understanding is that you have to live together for (1) year in order for a relationship to be classified as a common-law marriage. My daughter and her boyfriend have only been living together for the past 2 months - so are they co-habitating or common-law and does it make a difference as far as my paying "child support" or support for her post-secondary education?

(Is it proof enough for the courts in that they only have a one bedroom apartment with one bed & their clothes are in the same closet?)

G

[lammie]

If the money is not there for college it is not there. Not sure how the courts can make you pay for a another adult's education.

[logicalvelocity]

I think other facts will come into the equation such as your ability to pay. If your finances are limited the court may recognize the relationship but, if your well off they might endorse you to continue the child support. It is really open for interpretation. I would take an hour and consult with a lawyer such as Jeff and get a solid legal footing of knowing where you stand.

[DNSeller]

I think the the amount would be based off of the salary if the child did indeed qualify for the college support.... if the son qualified for child support also then the court would determine an amount to be given... in most places this could be up to 40% of income... I am no lawyer just my 2 cents

[Gwen]

After visiting my lawyer today, she maintains that my 20 year old daughter is NOT eligible for child support or extra support for post secondary education as she established herself as an adult by living with her boyfriend in 2003 and again in 2005 with a different guy.