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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 11-21-2017, 08:06 PM
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This seems a trite petty to me. Naturally, the other parent is concerned about where children are when with other parent, particularly when one parent was couch surfing until recently. Sure, it's a jab and definitely a form of gate-keeping by the other parent. Sure, it pisses you off. However, you should focus your attention and ability on working on getting your agreement ironed out and filed in court so you can hopefully avoid petty little things such as this in the future. Spend time researching (on this forum for a start) all the excellent examples of well-thought-out parenting plans and separation agreements.

Think about the big picture and don't forget that the other parent is going to be around for a very long time. You'd be better off to try to foster a good relationship with the other parent so future IMPORTANT things (nice vacations to Disneyland, etc.) will go smoothly.

In the end, the kids suffer when parents bicker because parents spend too much time embroiled in gamesmanship instead of focusing on kids. The longer things drag out the more animosity there will be between the two of you. Resist the urge to play the blame-game or to get even with each other.
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2017, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
This seems a trite petty to me. Naturally, the other parent is concerned about where children are when with other parent, particularly when one parent was couch surfing until recently. Sure, it's a jab and definitely a form of gate-keeping by the other parent. Sure, it pisses you off. However, you should focus your attention and ability on working on getting your agreement ironed out and filed in court so you can hopefully avoid petty little things such as this in the future. Spend time researching (on this forum for a start) all the excellent examples of well-thought-out parenting plans and separation agreements.

Think about the big picture and don't forget that the other parent is going to be around for a very long time. You'd be better off to try to foster a good relationship with the other parent so future IMPORTANT things (nice vacations to Disneyland, etc.) will go smoothly.

In the end, the kids suffer when parents bicker because parents spend too much time embroiled in gamesmanship instead of focusing on kids. The longer things drag out the more animosity there will be between the two of you. Resist the urge to play the blame-game or to get even with each other.

^^^ This.

One can waste their money and the courts time, and risk any potential repercussions due to their unreasonableness. Or, you can simply act like an adult, provide your address and move along.

Should issues actually arise where the other parent interferes with your parenting time by coming to your house, then you deal with it through the proper channels. But anticipating that there might be a potential issue....well that just doesn't fly. At that point you are dealing with hypothetical situations that no reasonable person would give much weight.

No one has a crystal ball and the courts are not about to put much weight into unsubstantiated claims of "the ex MAY do something".... Give evidence that something actually has happened, and then you might get somewhere.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2017, 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Soiled View Post
1 - Falls under the category of Nosy. Highly unlikely to change anything even if its a high crime rate area.

2 - That's just a convenience. Gifts can be given during your own time.

3 - Nosy, and also one of those endless 'what if' games that can be played. Nearly anything can be justified or seem reasonable through enough 'what if' scenarios. Exchange is already dictated to be elsewhere.

IMO if you think you need to know the address of the other parent, or are viewing it as a right to know it, you have a control issue, as knowing it or not knowing it changes nothing for you.
So if you request information about your child's doctor and school, then does that mean you are bring nosy ? What if you are asking for location of pick up and drop off, does that also mean that you are bring nosy ?

When a chick asks you for your number, does that mean they are being nosy ?

When your ex asks for your child's health card, does that mean they are being nosy?

When your boss asks you at work about your availability .. does that mean they are bring nosy ?

Lastly, you would be okay with your ex living in a drug addict home or hood 56 in downtown Chicago without you even knowing about it ? Which parent would you say should get primary residency? Parent who lives in the ghetto with piss poor schools and community resources and high serious crime rates and rapists, or the parent who lives in a high quality area with very high quality schools, private schools, daycare, etc where no serious crime has been committed in the last 10 decades ? ?
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2017, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
So if you request information about your child's doctor and school, then does that mean you are bring nosy ? What if you are asking for location of pick up and drop off, does that also mean that you are bring nosy ?

When a chick asks you for your number, does that mean they are being nosy ?

When your ex asks for your child's health card, does that mean they are being nosy?

When your boss asks you at work about your availability .. does that mean they are bring nosy ?

Lastly, you would be okay with your ex living in a drug addict home or hood 56 in downtown Chicago without you even knowing about it ? Which parent would you say should get primary residency? Parent who lives in the ghetto with piss poor schools and community resources and high serious crime rates and rapists, or the parent who lives in a high quality area with very high quality schools, private schools, daycare, etc where no serious crime has been committed in the last 10 decades ? ?
You've got one point in there that even has any sort of relevance to the topic at hand, and you're playing what if games in it, nothing of value.
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