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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-21-2017, 06:22 PM
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Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
Sorry if I'm reading this wrong but you prioritize your girl-friend over your child's mother for caregiving? Why? Is it because her schedule is flexible or are there other factors?

I get that your time is your time and all that tired trope but it would be nice if your daughter's mother was given the right of first refusal.
I "prioritize" D6 having the smoothest most comfortable transitions possible. I let D6 decide what she wants to do. My ex has no issue with any of it. My g/f and D6 have a wonderful relationship and its my time....so I see no problem with her picking up/dropping her from time to time. I think many do this. If my ex wanted her it might be a different story .. we'd work it out.

We dont sweat the small shit and D6 is benefiting from it. More should follow suit.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-21-2017 at 06:31 PM.
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Old 08-21-2017, 06:33 PM
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I guess the question to ponder....

If they are with the one parent for lets say three hours more per day, over the course of the year, I would think it would throw off the equal parenting.

I.e. 50/50, 40/60 It might become 30/70. If one wanted to challenged cs offset at some time.
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Old 08-21-2017, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by North of 40 View Post
I guess the question to ponder....

If they are with the one parent for lets say three hours more per day, over the course of the year, I would think it would throw off the equal parenting.

I.e. 50/50, 40/60 It might become 30/70. If one wanted to challenged cs offset at some time.
This has "often" crossed my mind.

I do know that support systems are a touchy subject on the forums...but they're "loved" in family law.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-21-2017 at 06:40 PM.
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Old 08-21-2017, 10:46 PM
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13 year old to be at daycare? Kidding me? Is their decision financial driven? Control driven? Do you have joint custody? Have you consented to daycare? You have every right to say no to daycare.
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Old 08-22-2017, 09:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I "prioritize" D6 having the smoothest most comfortable transitions possible. I let D6 decide what she wants to do. My ex has no issue with any of it. My g/f and D6 have a wonderful relationship and its my time....so I see no problem with her picking up/dropping her from time to time. I think many do this. If my ex wanted her it might be a different story .. we'd work it out.

We dont sweat the small shit and D6 is benefiting from it. More should follow suit.


I agree... the other parent isn't always the best choice. My husband works full time... I am off work for medical reasons, thus the kids spend their weeks with me. Their Mom works nights so she is off all day, but that doesn't mean Mom gets the children on his summer weeks with them. It is still his time with them and in reality if I was still working the children would be watched by a sitter or day camp or something, they still wouldn't go back to Moms.


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Old 08-22-2017, 10:14 AM
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I would think this does count if you are challenging Offset child support. ?

extra hours everyday would count, mine are at my house until after almost everyday after school. I even feed them dinner most days until the other parent shows up on their day
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Old 08-22-2017, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North of 40 View Post
I guess the question to ponder....

If they are with the one parent for lets say three hours more per day, over the course of the year, I would think it would throw off the equal parenting.

I.e. 50/50, 40/60 It might become 30/70. If one wanted to challenged cs offset at some time.
You're assuming it's 'equal' to begin with. They may have 50-50, but if someone is relying on a constellation of caregiving options due to work (before and afterschool care, significant others, grandparents, etc) and the other parent is not, one could argue that it's not really 'fair' to the kids to be looked after by 3rd parties just so the other parent has less CS obligations (which, let's be honest, happens all the time) and/or the veneer of 50-50.
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Old 08-28-2017, 06:16 PM
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If it was really about the 'kids' no one would be counting hours. Let's call a spade a spade!
I have 50/50 with my kids bio dad and they are at my house every day after school. I have never mentioned 'hours' after school as defining 50/50 status and guess what?! We've never thought twice about where they go after school. In terms of 3rd party taking care of your kids, parents need to relax - blended families exist and dare I say step parents are loved by the children and want to spend time with them! Are we serious here?! In a world where play dates monopolize our kids after hours time, and we drop off our kids at sport functions all the time, any parent that's concerned with missing time with their kids bc daddy's GF is spending time with their kid needs to pull their head out of their a$$ and grow up.


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