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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 08-20-2017, 10:42 PM
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Default after school on other parents day

i was reading a post from this spring about two parents one who lives by the school, and the other lives several kilos away, if the parent who lives close should be able to take the child home after school on the days the other parent has access, so that the other parent picks up from the house, rather than from after school care, the point being shouldn't child be at a parents home instead of afterschool care. This was with a young child, 4 or 5. I can see both sides of the situation. I potentially may have a similar problem coming up, but involving much older children 11 and 13.

Children have been going to the neighborhood school for some years, go to and from school on their own, all prior to separation. Do not attend before and atfter school program. Can be home alone when parents at work before separation. Sometimes at school later for extracirriculuar and come home independently, walk or ride bike. Other parent does not live in same neighborhood now. I live in same house as before.

Now that separated and school is soon to begin, with older kids could my ex partner insist they go to after school care on days he has, rather than to my house? soon to go to court and in affidavit ex said all kids go to after school care, but they havent in years, are not registered to go (registration takes place months earlier). They would hate to go to after school care, and would likely be the oldest kids there, especially the 13 yr old. He would consider going to after school care social suicide. They would wonder, after I have been coming home by myself why do I now need to go to after school care?

What do others do with older kids?
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Old 08-20-2017, 11:22 PM
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It's your partners time so they're within their right to make such decisions. However, given their age, their wishes will be strongly listened to and considered by the judge.
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Old 08-21-2017, 12:59 AM
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I'd encourage your 13 year old to take the registered babysitting course. Then it would pretty 'tarded for the other side to insist that child attend after school care... quite unreasonable IMO.
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Old 08-21-2017, 01:06 AM
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Yes oldest has taken a baby sitting course. Younger hasn'st yet, but that is a good point, I should get that set up.
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Old 08-21-2017, 01:07 AM
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Under the Child Care and Early Years Act, children in licensed care must be under the age of 13. If you are in Ontario, your 13 year old will not be accepted for before/after school care.

Last edited by SadAndTired; 08-21-2017 at 01:10 AM.
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Old 08-21-2017, 08:10 AM
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I live that exact scenario.

My 13 year old and 8 year old come to my house everyday after school and often at lunch (within the school district). It's maybe a five minute walk.

School is done at roughly 3pm, ex gets off at 5/6.

By 13 they seem a bit old for after school daycare. I'd agree with the above posters (baby sitting course).

The only thing your ex may be thinking, it could throw off the 50/50 split, based on hours.
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Old 08-21-2017, 11:11 AM
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This is an issue I'm going to have very soon as I have been served. I stayed in the school zone and the other parent moved out and my kids come to my house everyday till the other parents picks up between 4 to 6.

I have the children allot more hours over the course of the year. I would like to see other thoughts on this>
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Old 08-21-2017, 03:55 PM
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I think this is a wonderful idea! Why outsource to other caregivers when the other parent is available?
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Old 08-21-2017, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
I think this is a wonderful idea! Why outsource to other caregivers when the other parent is available?
I work in schools so of course its tough for me to do before/after school care. I have an awesome mate with a flexible schedule so she volunteers to help out .. but when she doesn't, I totally let my ex have her until I pick her up after school .. or drop her there so she can put her on the bus in the morning. I think about D6 first .. everything else come last. I know she'd rather be with her mom than a program or other caretaker.
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Old 08-21-2017, 06:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I work in schools so of course its tough for me to do before/after school care. I have an awesome mate with a flexible schedule so she volunteers to help out .. but when she doesn't, I totally let my ex have her until I pick her up after school .. or drop her there so she can put her on the bus in the morning. I think about D6 first .. everything else come last. I know she'd rather be with her mom than a program or other caretaker.
Sorry if I'm reading this wrong but you prioritize your girl-friend over your child's mother for caregiving? Why? Is it because her schedule is flexible or are there other factors?

I get that your time is your time and all that tired trope but it would be nice if your daughter's mother was given the right of first refusal.
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