Advice needed!!

[jakeysmum]

Hi All,
I 'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right spot. lol I'm in a bit of a spot and really not sure where to even begin or what to do. Here's my situation, I'll try to make it short as possible. Lived common law with my now ex for 5.5 yrs, we had a beautiful son May 2005. I asked him to leave July 2005 due to his alcoholism and verbal abusiveness and temper issues. We have nothing on paper in regards to visitation etc. I have refused him overnight/unsupervised visits due to his unstableness, booze, temper etc. I did however tell him he was welcome to see his son everyday if he likes, no time limit, providing that he is sober and calm. He has only had nine visits since July. I invited him over xmas eve and day so he could spend his first xmas with his son. He lives approx. 15 min away and has no license and uses that as an excuse not to visit. I did not go after him for spousal support, I'm not that kind of person, but I do feel he should help with the baby's expenses which he has fallen way behind already. Regardless, I still welcome him to see his son everyday if he chooses. He chooses not and makes excuses, I understand I can't make him be a father but should I be taking any steps legally???? He is quite mentally unstable, one day I'm the best and the next he's yelling I'm the B**CH. I was the child of an alcoholic and know the damage it can do to have an alcoholic parent whether they live with the child or not. As well I have been thinking of moving to Manitoba to live with family.
When he does call, he does not even ask about his son and gets quite hostile.
Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much

[ExWife2Many]

Well, if his behavior is that bad, I don't think your son should be growing up with him. Move to your family, and if he objects, I would take it to court to gain full custody of your son. Which shouldn't be hard if he is an alcoholic.

[Grace]

Sorry to hear of your situation. I would take legal steps to ensure that your ex pays child support to his son. Is he working? Unfortunately you can't make a parent be a good parent. Hopefully one day he will realize how his alcoholism is controlling his life and seek help. Until then keep access supervised as you have been doing.

[jakeysmum]

thanks for the input. Do I not have to get permission from the courts to move out of province???? I would not put it past him to verbally agree and then change his mind. Also, should I be taking any legal steps regardless to cover my butt so to speak?? I'm looking into having his wages garnished for child support tomorrow first thing. Thanks again.

[Grace]

This link should help you understand mobility rights:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/move-away.htm

[ladyluck]

Grace - fantastic article there. Who wrote it?