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-   -   access denial (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f4/access-denial-7604/)

gumby 09-15-2010 11:11 PM

access denial
 
I while back I posted that my ex was taking the kids to the cottage and not transporting them back. Well, that turned into a week of not letting me see them and telling me I couldn't come on the property to get them.
Now he has stepped it up a notch.. I went to get them tonight at his place and he said"you'll only be at your mother's one night kids" That was not the agreement. When I quizzed him on it he basically said f- you I'm getting them at school and keeping them.
He said he had gone to the school and told them he would be getting them and he was not agreeing on our schedule (that we had agreed on before school started and he told me to go ahead and give to the school. He has also been discussing this all with the kids.
This is making me sick. He has told me he only wants a support cheque. He does nothing to look after the kids or supervise them and spends not a penny on them. I had to shop with them for b-day presses and shoes tonight because he will not do it. My lawyer will not do an emergency motion because right now in Ottawa they are not doing them for denial of access. (I know this is true because I looked it up on the law association website.)
What do I do? the police will do nothing. I don't want to get into a fight at the school about my kids but I know he will try to pare my access down to nothing if he can.

logicalvelocity 09-15-2010 11:57 PM

That being so, I think I would schedule a C.C. right away with undetermined motion date to promote access and explanation for denials.

InterprovincialParents 09-16-2010 04:16 PM

Also...if you have an agreement that has been signed by both, file it with the courts. Then, if he denies access, the police do have something with the court to enforce...they cannot enforce otherwise.

sickentired 09-16-2010 10:34 PM

Someone told me something about talking to your kids about divorce. "Would you offer your kids an adult drink (alcohol)? No. Then why are you burdening them with an adult problem?"

I don't beleive it is worth worring about burdening the kids with the problems. I know it's hard. But I think the most important thing is to get organizated and decided what is best for the kids and then most importantly get a court document filed so it is enforceable. As we all know our ex-spouses never seem to keep thier agreements -

logicalvelocity 09-17-2010 01:22 AM

Takes a specific order for the police to enforce an existing access order. See Section 36. of the CLR - but something to think about if it takes such measures to promote your child's access.

Pharah 09-17-2010 10:25 AM

Unfortunately, if you don't have a court order, your ex doesn't have to comply with any previous agreement. That said, you need to document your access with the kids and if he has been denying access, you need to be able to show that there has been a change to 'status quo' for the kids.

Also, as we have learned from this process, there is very little you can do about what the other party decided to discuss with your children, whether it's about the divorce or about you personally. It's definitely detrimental however in our case the court has done very little to stop it.

So, document your time with the kids over the last few months to be able to show the court the changes in access. Then as Logical said, schedule a Case Conference and File a Motion for an appropriate access arrangement.

Hope this helps and good luck.

gumby 09-17-2010 05:23 PM

Thank you
 
everybody.
Unfortunately you are right the police's hands are tied. He has definitely been pressuring the kids because he told me so flat out! I went to pick them up tonight and my son was upset because he couldn't go with me - he said no with my ex standing over him saying " now last week was your mother's week" etc etc and threatening to make a scene in the schoolyard. Very embarrassing for the kids. I told him I would not discuss it in public and walked away. He kept saying, "I've discussed this with the kids and I know what they want."
Where I am angry is that this is a man who wants nothing to do with looking after the kids or spending a plug nickel on them and did not go to their their school, doctor's dentists etc. for ten years, and now that he thinks he is winning lotto 649 in support he is suddenly interested (though still not enough to do the dirty work. Buying shoes, clothes etc. is all going to be on my time and dime.)
I am documenting thoroughly and when we are in court will be well covered. It is great to have support from you folks and my friends who have been through the same crap and came out on the other side. There is light at the end of the tunnel. If my kids are happy I can grin and bear it until justice is served.

rwm1273 09-18-2010 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InterprovincialParents (Post 47632)
Also...if you have an agreement that has been signed by both, file it with the courts. Then, if he denies access, the police do have something with the court to enforce...they cannot enforce otherwise.

Most police will not do much in family law matters unless there is a clause directing them to do something. Some officers are willing to go and have a short discussion with the other party, but unless there is direction in the court order, their hands are bound.


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