X refusing to communicate and running up legal bills also recently unemployed

[andagain]

Sorry - I posted this in another area by accident - Still trying to navigate this..

I am new here and have a few questions I was hoping to get some help with..

I have been divorced for 10 years and originally my X and I split custody. As we couldn't come to an agreement I agreed to pay her $200 a month for support, basically because it would drag out and my legal bills were already draining me. Also, I was remarried and my new wife's salary combined with mine gave us enough so that the $200 didn't hurt too much and it was manageable as compared to the legal costs. We also split extra curriculars 50-50. Everything money wise was fine for the last 10 years as I paid regularly and she really had nothing to complain about.

She has not dated since the divorce and is really bitter, angry, unhappy etc. Her bitterness and negative comments about my wife and I drove my, now 14 year old son, out of her house and he came to live with me full time 2 years ago. For the first year we didn't ask for any support other than 50% of the extra curricular activities, school uniforms..etc. It didn't amount to much at all.

After a year and costs for my son increasing due to clothes becoming more expensive, grocery bills going up, hockey equipment now having to be adult sizes, etc. I requested she give me some support ($150 per month) just to offset these costs and she outright refused. We ended up having to call our lawyer and she ended up having to pay us the Guideline amount. As I said she is bitter and stubborn and it always comes back to bite her.

OK, so she has recently been laid off or fired from her job. I'm guessing laid off (unless she did something really bad, I can't see her being fired and I doubt she would do anything like that). She was laid of Feburary 10th. I am assuming she would get 2 weeks severance and paid out for any vacation (I also believe she had stock with the company as an employee benefit - which I don't know what happens with that in the event of a lay off). When we didn't receive her child support cheque on the 15th as per usual I called her. She then informed me she was laid off and she had called her lawyer to inform my lawyer that I wouldn't be getting paid. I told he she could have called directly and she didn't have to call the lawyer. She then said she would rather keep it through the lawyers.

Soooo.. my questions are this.

1. I don't want to keep going through my lawyer for things like this when I am more than willing to discuss them with her. If she had called we could have worked something out. Now, I will probably get billed for this by my lawyer. Can I ask her lawyer send me things directly and only consult my lawyer if need be?? This would have been so simple.

2. Would she still have to pay me for February (if it was a lay off with severance) since she pretty much would have got paid for the month of February. I wouldn't push this, but we had no idea she was laid off and just paid $600 for my Son's summer hockey. Not to mention we will be dinged by my lawyer I'm sure.

3. If she works temp jobs (which she has in the past) can I ask for paystubs to show how much she is making?

4. If she goes on UI does she have to pay CS? I don't want to drain her but my Son has told me when he saw her last she said she was taking some time off to deal with the sale of her Mother's house (they moved her Mother to a retirement home). Plus, its my understanding through mutual friends that she is getting money periodically from her mom from the sale of the house. (Not an inheritance)..

ANY help anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated.

[billm]

Answer to some of it.

You don't have to use your lawyer - you can have a lawyer advise you (when YOU ask for it). But tell her lawyer that they are to contact you directly as your lawyer is advising you at this time, but is NOT representing you. I have never let my lawyer talk to anyone but me (have not needed one much but still it has saved me $$$). It is not up to your ex or her lawyer, it is up to you.

CS should be SIMPLE - adjust yearly, automatically in July or so, based on previous year income tax notice of assessment, that the payor provides you - there should be NO arguments about this.

She supports herself, she has to support her child END OF STORY. Not having a job etc does not matter, she has to pay support based on her yearly income. If she is receiving gifts from her mother, technically (and morally) this should be included in her CS income calculation but that could be hard for you to prove if she is being selfish and will not do this.

Yes if she is on UI etc, she has to pay CS - again, she is supporting herself somehow, she has to support her child.

[CycleDad]

1. Yes. Definately.

2. Yes. She should pay for Feburary since severance and vacation pay is income. Perhaps even beyond Febuary at the old rate. Also you can ask that she is making resonalble efforts to find emploument, a copy of her Record of Employment. This ROE will tell you what those severance and vacation amounts are and you can tell if she was fired with cause or not.

3, Yes but she can say no and then you would need to take court action to get it.

4. Yes even on I.E. you still have to pay the table amount (of course it will be a lesser amount)

Heck I think she has had it easy. You could be asking for retroactive child support for 3 years back. I would if I have had to run up debt.