Wife not responding - What to do?

[goingbroke]

I've been married for 13 years and have two kids (11 and 6). The marriage has been miserable from almost the beginning but neither of us wanted to end it. Finally, I have decided to do something. I initiated separation about two years ago and my lawyer sent my wife a letter asking her to get herself a lawyer etc. She talked to a lawyer but did not proceed with any paper work. I let things slide and continued to live in the same house (separate rooms, cooking etc.).

After a recent incident in which the police were called to the house I really want to end this. My wife has ignored all letters from the lawyer. Her lawyer hasn't hered from my wife in more than a year. What are my options? I don't want to move out of the house and jepordize access to the kids. SHe has been a stay at home mother, but I have been very involved with the chilfren.

Is my only option going to the court and get a judge to decide on the custody and access issues?

Would really appreciate any help.

[OB1]

Goingbroke,
I was also in the same shoes has your for quite a while. Then all of a sudden my ex wife moved out and my life turned to hell. As a man we don't have much options in the family court system. It still is biased. You will most likely haveto pay your wife for the rest of of your life. Since she is not working you will pay her Spousal support, You also will be paying her Child Support, and properly won't see them much, other than every other weekend and one day during the week. If you are fighting for Joint Custody, I wish you luck, It will cost you a bundle. Maybe she will agree with joint, if so you got off lucky.
I would recomend trying to get counciling. try working your marriage out. It is not going to be easy for you or your kids.
I know after one and a half years decided to ask my ex my ex to move back with me. She has not agreed yet, however we have started marriage counciling and we are spending alot of time together. Just this weekend she was with me all three days.
My seperation really opened my eyes. Divorce is brutal. I am so much happier now that my ex and I are trying to work thinks out. It has lifted a hugh burden off my shoulders.
All I was doing was reading about divorce. Negative toughts all the time.
Again my advice to anyone contemplating divorce is try everything to at working it out before you walk out.