Wife has moved out and keeps returning the home

[NewLife]

I am wondering if anyone else had to deal with an Ex who has moved out but not taken all of their stuff. My issue is that she has moved out and will not relinquish her keys to the home. I have requested that she return them and respect my privacy and setup times when she wants to come by and get the remainder of her stuff. I have no intention of restricting access to remove the remainder of her stuff but my fears of her still having access is that she is going to remove stuff that we have not agreed upon as being hers to take. For example she has been hounding me to take the stove to her new place and up to this point I have refused that stating that I need it to be able to feed the children and is not something that is up for grabs. Then she just moves on about wanting the washer and dryer. But she still believes that the appliances are items still up for division. I fear with her access to the home still available whenever she wants she will just show up when I am at work and the kids are at school and just take what she wants.

Now I should point out that she is still on the title of the home but has not contributed to any of the bills or mortgage. The kids are still with me for over 95% of the time and she keeps saying that she cannot spend time with them because of her schedule. The kids have been very traumatized by her move so far and I have pleaded with her to try another approach to get the remainder of her stuff. But she still keeps on and on about how half of the house is still hers.

[FreeNow]

Change the locks. Tell her she is welcome to come to the house whenever you are there.

FN

[standing on the sidelines]

as long as she is on the title she is entitled to come into the house. You need to get a separation agreement in place asap. All the household contents get split 50/50 so make a list of what she has taken, what you are keeping and the disputed items. Write down the serial numbers of the appliances so that you have proof if she does take them, that they are the ones she has.

[billiechic]

why does she need the stove? if she is renting she probably has one and is only using this as a control tactic. I doubt a judge would approve of her taking the appliances from the home when you and the children obviously need them.

You need to get a separation agreement in place ASAP. It sounds like you are being reasonable though. Good luck.

[Charlie]

my wife is moving out today.I too do not want her coming into home when i'm not here.i heard about exclusive posession of the home but i would be responsible for all motg. and tax payments.i heard i can't change locks because she is on title.she hasn't paid a dime towards costs of home since april. how do they get away with it.

[PhoenixRising]

Install an additional lock and do not relinquish a key to her. That way you both need to be present to open the door. As for the appliances those of chattels of the home and should not be removed. If it comes time to sell the home it is what buyers are looking for.

[today]

Personally I would have no issue with changing the locks. Allow entry to the home only with notice and you present. If she called the Police to complain they would likely advise that it is a family court matter and not intervene, I have no idea if this is right or wrong but I would not hesitate for a second.

[OttawaM43]

I always thought that as soon as one leaves and starts to rent or buys another home then the one that is stillliving in the original ome can change the locks at will. Just my thoughts. My ex changed them the day I left im sure.

[felicia504]

Hi my spouse moved out too and left his stuff.He came down everyday for a change of clothes and went in and had a shower.It was horrible.When I called my lawyer he told me to change the locks that nothing was settled he moved and he told me to put his stuff outside for him.It was like he didnt want to leave and regretted leaving.

[lakomka03]

I am the one who moved and left the home together with my 7 year old last april after over 10 yearsof a drinking problem on husband s' side. Even had to call 911 once...

Because my husband has his business in the house. I made it easy for him. I left as we both wanted the separation. I just took one chair and my pots and pans 8thereis plenty for him left to warm up his cans of beans!!!). I to buy everything new. Furniture etc...
He helped me moved...but then presented me with a bill for 450$.


Leaving a house for an apartment is challenging because you don't have the same space. We are now 2 in a apartment, he is alone in a house!!! So i do have to go back to get my things, but i can't take it all at once - i will eventually-.
I am actually only taking things that he hated me to have bought...but now, suddenly...he wants them! What he does not want...he wants me to have it!

I guess as long as we have no agreement, i can still go to the house.

By the way: He gives me 500$/month (he decided on that amount on his own, saying he can't afford more - no discussion! But for a new home theater system..there is money, and all kinds of gadgets). What can i do? Just health plan for my son (as employer does not pay) and afterschool care cost me that much! I am renting and have so many expenses, as i m trying not to change my son's habits, regarding hobbies and life style (well, a bit though, and he understands).

Thanks for your insight on this...i am lookig for a lawyer now. A bit overwhelmed.