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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2014, 12:13 AM
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Serene - your situation is likely different from many single parents who are not re-partnered and who have to make ends meet on their own. Their situation is difficult. Making ends meet is a monthly challenge.
This is subjective. You/we can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution.

I won't lie, it was hard at times. VERY hard. But there is no harm in preserving. I can honestly say that I think had I pursued the CS and all the other bullsh&t he slung my way I would not be in as good a position as I am now. It would have impeded my ability to pursue my education at the rate I did and it would have therefore impeded my career prospects as well.

I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. I merely point individuals to contemplate their self worth and to analyze the immense possibilities that lie ahead of them. To put it simply, there are more ways to achieve a positive outcome than one often acknowledges.... I could sustain my budget through CS or SS but I would have little control over that in the end (payor death, disablity, going missing, loss of job, etc.) or I could just push through it and decide I want to be more in control of my situation for myself and my children.
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Old 03-13-2014, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
When an intact family contemplates having another child, they make the decision together, based on many factors, one of which is financial. They decide together if having more children and less money for each one is acceptable to them.
While in a perfect world, this would be the case, it is regularly not always true. I know of individuals who have been caught off guard by their spouse becoming pregnant when it wasn't something they had agreed on at the time, and believed that the necessary precautions were in place to avoid pregnancy.

So, even with intact families, there are decisions made to increase the family that are not mutual and ultimately reduce the amount of money to spread to the existing kids.
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Old 03-13-2014, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
While in a perfect world, this would be the case, it is regularly not always true. I know of individuals who have been caught off guard by their spouse becoming pregnant when it wasn't something they had agreed on at the time, and believed that the necessary precautions were in place to avoid pregnancy.

So, even with intact families, there are decisions made to increase the family that are not mutual and ultimately reduce the amount of money to spread to the existing kids.
I know some situations like that too (vasectomies are not 100%!) but because the family is intact, what to do about it and how to cope financially are still mutually made decisions.

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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I agree... CS obligations from the first children should not be effected because of a new child. I don't think any child is worth less than the other, but if you think of it like any other financial obligation, you need to make smart decisions. If you already have a monthly payment of XX for credit card debt and then go and buy a new car and all the sudden can't afford your credit card debt, do you think the credit card companies are going to give you a break because you bought a new car?
Exactly!

It's along the lines of when one ex chooses to underemploy themself, so their previous income is imputed to them so that the other ex, who had no part of that decision, isn't financially affected. The choice to have further children is like the choice to change to a lesser paying job - it must be done with existing financial obligations continuing to be met.
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Old 03-13-2014, 10:08 AM
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I understand all the arguments against reducing c/s for the first kids. But no one has provided any reasoning for the social argument.

If an individual would be entitled to pay $600 to each of their kids (lets say 2 for easy math), but only has the funds to $800 in total, a small sacrifice of going from $600 to $400 is better than having one at and the other at $200. It is socially more acceptable to have the kids treated equally as the negative impact to first child would be nominal compared the negative impact to the second child if the adjustment is not made. Not adjusting could cause resentment between the half siblings, among other issues.

Allowing for the adjustment also will allow the payor to do what they can for both, while also being able to financially provide for themselves. There are instances where payors, who are unable to financially get by due to large c/s payments, simply either walk away or commit suicide. There is solid argument that something is better than nothing.

And trust me, I am not one to promote having more kids when you can't afford them. IMO, it is reckless and shows poor character. I've argued here that second families shouldn't be a reason to reduce c/s. But multiple c/s payments outside the family does cause me to differ my position slightly when, and when, a hardship claim has merit and in order to provide balance, each child be entitled to the same reduced amount.
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