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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2017, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
It's a clause that has been in the agreement since day one, never really thought about it until now.



This year however, applicant wants summer visitation but will actually not be there as the applicant works away from home and screwed up their vacation dates. Informed the respondant after the agreed upon date of April 30 that they had to have certain dates. The Respondant had already made plans for those dates.



The agreement states that in odd year the Respondant shall have preference and in Even years the Applicant shall have preference.



This year the Applicant is demanding dates which do not work for the respondant and again " scream contempt". It's a usual rant so we will just ignore that! It's the respondents year to have preference so has offered alternate dates that work this summer. There was some discussion about switching years of preference but past experience has shown that this,is,not a good idea as the applicant usually reneges on any promises



Applicant has said they are not available except these particular 3 weeks which clash with the plans of the Respondant. So the question was who wouldlook after S5 if you are not there but away for work.



When asked the reply was. "myob".



The applicant has a bit of a history of trying to bully their way into getting what they want.



So just checking on the wording. The dates the Respondant suggest gives the same amount of time.



So to answer your comment. It's not control it's trying to follow an agreement which The respondent feels that after all the time and effort and money spent on the agreement they should abide by all it's details and not pick and choose. No one is truly completely happy with agreements but you do what you can and do the best you can. Then you live with it.


So let me get this right... its the Respondents year to pick vacation time first, they have done so but those weeks are the only weeks the applicant has holidays from work so the other times the applicant picked they must work so now the respondent doesn't want the applicant to have any summer vacation time? That seems backwards. A parent doesn't have to be there 100% of the time to parent. What if the respondent made arrangements to be able to see the child? What if they made arrangements for extended family to spend some time with the child? It appears the respondent is trying to suck and blow at the same time. Picked access first but now doesn't want the other parent to have any vacation time?

One of two options...

1- the applicant gives up some of the vacation time so the respondent can spend some summer time with the child and the applicant picks a different week out of the three chosen

2- the applicant keeps the weeks chosen and stops trying to control the respondents parenting time

I am sure there are many times the applicant has he child and is not 100% available... school? Sleepovers at friends/family? To me this seems like an unenforceable clause and if it went to court would be removed from the agreement.


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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2017, 11:18 AM
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I would advise to carefully consider Janus' posts. Janus is bang-on.
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Old 05-09-2017, 01:23 PM
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Everyone's comments are useful and well taken. There is some truth to what Janus said.

So update

Respondant stood firm on the terms of the agreement and the Applicant miraculously managed to change their vacation!

Background.

Every time the applicant has made their visitation arrangements which are based on the agreement in place they seemed to want change elements of the agreement,. Time - place - dates - period of time etc. The were the party who actually drew up the terms they wanted and for the most part the Respondant agreed to the arrangement. The Applicants would never entertain a accommodation to the Respondant saying "Unfortunately that's not what the agreement says". So it was time to draw a line in the sand and say " this is the agreement and at this time we are not at a point where we can sway from it in mutually agreement so it is what it is".

I think the point has been made. The Respondant is not a push over and demands mutual respect of their home life.

And by saying a parent needs to be mentally and physically with their child means the child needs to be in their mind 24/7. A child exists in both worlds in a separated environment. Denying the existence of one location is not having your child in your mind mentally and physically 24/7.

Not sure if I am explaining myself very well. I am sure others can word this better.
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Old 05-09-2017, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
The applicant shall be in direct care of S5 for the duration of each visit unless agreed otherwise.
What if you change the word "direct" with "ensure"?
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Old 05-09-2017, 03:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canadaguy View Post
What if you change the word "direct" with "ensure"?
Not making any changes to the agreement. In the end you have to make the best agreement as you can and then live with it.

it is what it is.
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