Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 03:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 133
janedoe99 is on a distinguished road
Default What temporary orders have been made at case confrerence?

Just wondering what everyone's experience was at their first and second case conference. Did they make any huge changes in access? (temporary orders?).
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 03:56 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 341
winterwolf7 is on a distinguished road
Default

Generally case conferences accomplish very little. The first one may be with a clerk instead of a judge, to make sure all of the paperwork is in order and all the issues are out in the open.

Any orders made at a case conference will be made on consent... which means orders that both parties agree to.

If you go in expecting anything much you will be very disappointed, but it has to start somewhere. From the case conference you will determine the next step, which may be a settlement conference, arguing motions, or preparation for trial.
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 03:57 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 4
bfwireless is on a distinguished road
Default

I am new to this forum. My wife just moved out last week with my 14 months son and she has not been talk to me since then. She was helped by a LAO lawyer to set down everything. I retained a lawyer but wife lawyer is still not let me meet with my young son, or getting know everything about them. Other word, I am just seating in the house and wait for them to contact. She took baby stuffs I do not mind but the laptop was belonged to both, all my banking, taxing and other important document are in there, what should I do, I never realized that my life is screwed like now. I married the wrong person but because of my son, I cannot live without him, I emailed to wife she never replied that I gave her the house, moneys and everything she wants just to let me take care my baby. She does not want to reconcile at all as per my lawyer and she wants everthing, she just married me 4 years and she will take my 30 years working assets. Regardless my big loosing, I want to reconcile just because of my son. Anyone know if wife lawyer has right to prohibite to interim visit my son, it is over a week and my life is now in limbo
Thanks to read this
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 04:01 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 341
winterwolf7 is on a distinguished road
Default

Hi Bfwireless,

Welcome to the forum and the crappy world of divorce. You'll be able to get more responses if you start a new post with this information instead of hijacking JaneDoe99's thread
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 04:03 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 133
janedoe99 is on a distinguished road
Default

Well..I am the respondent. My ex has supervised visits (not by court order) but by admitted drug problem and an alcohol problem that he doesn't admit. In the last couple months he claims to have taken urine drug tests with his dr. He is seeing our 11 month dauter for 10 hrs per week over 3 days..sometimes more if the supervisor is available.

His papers have asked for a temporary and permanent order for shared access. I'm just wondering if at the case conference they can grant that big of a change in schedule?

The ex's first application did not say anything about me trying to alientate him as a parent. It just basically said that I was over cautious and that his drug problem is not under control etc. However after I filed a response with proof that I was not over cautious from Dr. Now they have decided to change their tactic and say that I am trying to be the only parent. Making me sound horrible and unreasonable.

I am asking for joint custody on a graduated system. Basically something that is ovr time to make sure the ex can handle obstaining from drugs/alcohol and can handle the change...while also easing our daughter into the change.
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 04:10 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 341
winterwolf7 is on a distinguished road
Default

How old is the child?

If your ex is clean and has drug tests to prove it, and genuinely wants to pursue shared custody (50% time with the child) you should try to work with him to accomplish this.

I have found that "gradual" custody is not usually well received by the other side because it implies that they can't be trusted with the child, or that you see yourself as the better parent and are policing their time.

Unless you consent to shared custody at the case conference the judge won't order it right away, but it might be granted shortly afterwards on a temporary basis on a motion anyways. It sounds like he has decent evidence.

It sounds like you are both pretty reasonable at this point, so I think in the long term shared has potential. Start getting used to the idea, it might be forced upon you at any time.
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 04:15 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 133
janedoe99 is on a distinguished road
Default

the child is 11 months old.

He has recently told me that he doesn't actually want shared custody because it interferes with him being able to work nights at the restaurant. He says he has to because his mom is crying to him that he's like his father who also had a drinking problem. He said he's getting pressure from his family.

This concerns me because if he doesn't want it..will he be spending quality time with her..or not. Anyways, I guess the only way is to find out.

UNfortunately the drinking was a larger problem but there is not way of proving that since it is legal and he won't admit to the alcohol. I think he has to admit to the drugs because of hair follicle testing.
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 04:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 341
winterwolf7 is on a distinguished road
Default

Divorce changes everything, each parent suddenly has a boatload of new responsibilities. He will either rise to the challenge of being a parent to her, or he won't. Sounds like he has his Mom to help him, which can be very helpful and positive.

Is he doing any overnights yet? See if you can start integrating in an overnight soon to see how it goes.
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 08:31 PM
wretchedotis's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: ON
Posts: 2,317
wretchedotis is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe99 View Post
Just wondering what everyone's experience was at their first and second case conference. Did they make any huge changes in access? (temporary orders?).

In my experience there were a couple of Orders issued. However they were all on consent of both parties and reasonable enough not to contest (from my point of view).
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 05-08-2012, 08:42 PM
wretchedotis's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: ON
Posts: 2,317
wretchedotis is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bfwireless View Post
I am new to this forum. My wife just moved out last week with my 14 months son and she has not been talk to me since then. She was helped by a LAO lawyer to set down everything. I retained a lawyer but wife lawyer is still not let me meet with my young son, or getting know everything about them. Other word, I am just seating in the house and wait for them to contact. She took baby stuffs I do not mind but the laptop was belonged to both, all my banking, taxing and other important document are in there, what should I do, I never realized that my life is screwed like now. I married the wrong person but because of my son, I cannot live without him, I emailed to wife she never replied that I gave her the house, moneys and everything she wants just to let me take care my baby. She does not want to reconcile at all as per my lawyer and she wants everthing, she just married me 4 years and she will take my 30 years working assets. Regardless my big loosing, I want to reconcile just because of my son. Anyone know if wife lawyer has right to prohibite to interim visit my son, it is over a week and my life is now in limbo
Thanks to read this
Please post your questions on a new thread - so that we may all look at one question/problem at a time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by winterwolf7 View Post
Hi Bfwireless,

Welcome to the forum and the crappy world of divorce. You'll be able to get more responses if you start a new post with this information instead of hijacking JaneDoe99's thread
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe99 View Post
Well..I am the respondent. My ex has supervised visits (not by court order) but by admitted drug problem and an alcohol problem that he doesn't admit. In the last couple months he claims to have taken urine drug tests with his dr. He is seeing our 11 month dauter for 10 hrs per week over 3 days..sometimes more if the supervisor is available.

His papers have asked for a temporary and permanent order for shared access. I'm just wondering if at the case conference they can grant that big of a change in schedule?

The ex's first application did not say anything about me trying to alientate him as a parent. It just basically said that I was over cautious and that his drug problem is not under control etc. However after I filed a response with proof that I was not over cautious from Dr. Now they have decided to change their tactic and say that I am trying to be the only parent. Making me sound horrible and unreasonable.

I am asking for joint custody on a graduated system. Basically something that is ovr time to make sure the ex can handle obstaining from drugs/alcohol and can handle the change...while also easing our daughter into the change.
I understand your problems with him and maybe that your child would not be safe. But please remember that he is the childs father, and that will NEVER change. Do your very best to let him be 'Dad' to the child.

This may mean that you have to let go a little bit and trust that everything will be OK even if you're not around to make sure it is.

It makes sense that you want to take things slow - but as a person with my own problems with addictions in the past - I can tell you that the fact that he is admitting he has a problem in court documents shows (shows me, at least!) that he really wants to do better for the child.

And even if it is pressure from his parents - that doesn't mean that he doesn't think the same thing. Even if he doesn't think the same thing right now - maybe next year he will. And if you let him now with his parents helping - he'll be much better at it next year on his own.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
aftermath littleman Divorce & Family Law 1 09-27-2006 09:43 PM
Rule 25: ORDER Grace Divorce & Family Law 2 04-24-2006 06:55 PM
Communication Chopper Parenting Issues 11 04-11-2006 12:04 AM
Appropriate Procedure gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 4 02-19-2006 02:44 PM
what is Case Conference Date ? New_Beginning Divorce & Family Law 3 11-07-2005 10:52 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:12 AM.