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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-09-2014, 09:33 AM
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Hello im new to the forums. I recently started a process for child support from my ex husband. At the time of our divorce although my income was only a quarter of his I had agreed to him not paying me any if I was able to claim both of the children for income tax purposes. That was 7 years ago. Since then I have been struggling greatly financially.

I applied for legal aid but was declined due to the fact I was only going for child support. I then was referred to FLIC. I started my first flic appointment in February of last year. It took several appointments to finally get my income information in properly as every appointment my income changed as im self employed so I had to submit a new form. Over one year later papers finally were filed. I recently moved in with my boyfriend of 3 years because I could not afford to live . On my own anymore. I have one child from a previous relationship which I receive no support for and his dad is not in his life. Me and my ex husband have joint shared custody of our 2 children. We each have them equal amounts of time. Flic said I am no longer eligible for their help since I moved in with my boyfriend. If they hadn't taken so long to help me get this started in the first place I would not be in this situation.

Anyhow, his answer was due to be filed today. Yesterday his fiancee handed me a filed motion and affidavit asking for a extension till june 12 so he could seek legal advice. He stated in his motion that it was with notice and unopposed. What does this mean?? I am opposed to an extension. I see no reason we cannot get a case conference scheduled asap. I would like to mediate but I know he just wants to pay nothing and try to fight over it. His fiancee said that she will make him quit his job before he pays me anything. He makes over 50k more then me a year. I am well below poverty level income and he still insists I split on sports and everything down the middle. 4 years ago he talked me into switching the kids schools to his area. I agreed to it as he said on my weeks he would drive the kids home from school to my home every day and on the days that he couldnt drive them to my house from school hed give me 10.00 for gas. He adhered to our agreement for the first 9 months since then I have been driving back and forth fully with no monetary compensation at all as per our verbal agreement. It costs me 500 per month in gas just getting my kids back and forth to school. I am beyond broke. I cant wait any longer to have case conference set up. Please help aid me in my next step. Can I file a motion to oppose the extension or at least agree to the extension as long as I see that a case conference date is set up?? This has now become an emergency situation. It is causing issues between myself and boyfriend as I cant even afford to pay the bills I promised to pay once I moved in with him. Please help.

Sorry for the rambling I just wanted all to see the full situation to best access it. Thank you in advance.
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Old 05-09-2014, 01:43 PM
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Sounds like your in dire-straights. What I don't understand is why the 7 year wait before asking for child support? You should have received it for the first child and for your Ex husband's children as well. The mistake you made was accepting that he just walk away with no clear parenting plan.

Agreeing to no CS was a bad choice, as it is the children's right to be supported by both parents.

Contact legal aid asap or ask about some free mediation. It may be difficult to go after the Ex after all this time, but not impossible where CS is concerned.
His fiancee is full of Bull ... trying to intimidate you, obviously. If he makes over 50K a year, there is no reason to justify his not paying child support. You may even be awarded retro in this case ....
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Old 05-09-2014, 01:59 PM
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Not sure how to quote ur reply but thank you for your response. New to this my oldest sons dad hasnt seen him since he was 2 he is now 14. The agreement for no child support and me claiming the children for tax purposes was put only in the minutes of settlement, not in the actual divorce order. I have tried starting this process several times in the past but several times was rejected by legal aid. Not due to my income, as I did qualify just my situation made them not accept my application as there was already a divorce order in place. I was not told about flic until lastb year, to which I then immediately followed through with starting the process. Since I started this I have had nothing but issues with their fathers fiancee, she has been increasingly difficult. Name calling and trying to get a rise out of me. I have been recording all conversations with her in addition to keeping a journal. I have told her none of this is her concern and I do not wish to speak with her about anything. All the while keeping my cool and still trying to be friendly for my children's sake. She and my ex husband have been talking badly about me and putting my kids through hell since this started. They are only 8 and 10. Very sad that they cant handle this maturely. Any idea what step I take next since he filed his motion??
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Old 05-09-2014, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
Not sure how to quote ur reply but thank you for your response. New to this my oldest sons dad hasnt seen him since he was 2 he is now 14. The agreement for no child support and me claiming the children for tax purposes was put only in the minutes of settlement, not in the actual divorce order. I have tried starting this process several times in the past but several times was rejected by legal aid. Not due to my income, as I did qualify just my situation made them not accept my application as there was already a divorce order in place. I was not told about flic until lastb year, to which I then immediately followed through with starting the process. Since I started this I have had nothing but issues with their fathers fiancee, she has been increasingly difficult. Name calling and trying to get a rise out of me. I have been recording all conversations with her in addition to keeping a journal. I have told her none of this is her concern and I do not wish to speak with her about anything. All the while keeping my cool and still trying to be friendly for my children's sake. She and my ex husband have been talking badly about me and putting my kids through hell since this started. They are only 8 and 10. Very sad that they cant handle this maturely. Any idea what step I take next since he filed his motion??
On the bottom of the last response you will notice the QUOTE button just click on that

With regards to the fiancee, if it gets really bad, consider obtaining a restraining order against her. You are already divorced? Did either of you have a lawyer involved, because I don't understand why there was no CS ordered by the courts. Was this a do-it-yourself divorce or did you pass in front of a judge?

As for his motion, file one of your own claiming undue-hardship and also asking for CS to be filed with FRO.

Flic can be helpful, but as others have stated in here, it takes for ever to get things done with them. Try calling up your local Woman's Shelter, they can guide you to some FREE legal resources whether or not you are in an abusive situation.

Bottom line, your Ex has to contribute financially to his children's upkeep.

I'm sure other members with more experience will chime in?

Last edited by Janibel; 05-09-2014 at 02:41 PM.
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Old 05-09-2014, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
At the time of our divorce although my income was only a quarter of his I had agreed to him not paying me any if I was able to claim both of the children for income tax purposes. That was 7 years ago.
This is not going to work well for you possibly in the long run. I hate to be a "Debby Downer" but, 7 years is a long time to support this agreement even if you made it without counsel.

You will likely be successful on getting child support paid in accordance with the off-set/set-off method going. I don't see a court ordering payment of past child support if you agreed to not receiving it and didn't take action in the past 7 years to receive it.

This is a matter where ignorantia juris non exusat may certainly apply against you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I applied for legal aid but was declined due to the fact I was only going for child support.
You state below that he makes 50,000 per year more than you and you are "below the poverty line". One would assume that your annual gross income is less than 28,500 and that the other parent makes 78,500 per year gross.

Continuing on...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
Me and my ex husband have joint shared custody of our 2 children. We each have them equal amounts of time.
So you have:

Full joint custody and equal residency/access on a 50-50 basis with the other parent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
Flic said I am no longer eligible for their help since I moved in with my boyfriend.
As children reside at your residence this automatically makes you "common law". So as much as you want to call this person your "boyfriend" and swear up and down the street all you want about him being your "boyfriend" you and your children reside with him now. This under the tax code puts you in a "common law" relationship generally to most organizations. (CRA, LOA, FLIC, et all...) This means that the person who you are residing with is responsible for you.

As well, any benefits you get in addition for your children will change too. (Dependent credits, etc...)

I advise you to properly reference and represent your "boyfriend" as your "common law husband" to CRA and other government agencies. They can get really nasty if you try to claim you live with him, he is your boyfriend but, are not "common law".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
If they hadn't taken so long to help me get this started in the first place I would not be in this situation.
I disagree. You were always going to be in this situation with or without child support. Child support is not the WINDFALL you think it is or someone has told you it is.

Here is why:

Basing my assumptions are correct that you earn 28,500 and he earns 78,500 on a equal residential schedule CS is calculated using the guildlines in the offset method.

Plugging in that you have 2 children of the marriage, access is shared and your incomes here is what mysupportcalculator.ca tells me:

Dad pays Mom child support of $738 per month.

So, if you take your 28,500 and add on the 8856 per year in CS you get... You are not going to have much (if at all) better life style.

As well, special and extraordinary expenses are split on proportion of incomes. Generally, you would only qualify for childcare as an S7. Sports teams (unless the child is training for the olympics!) are generally not covered and split 50-50 etc... Medical expenses for a child (unless special needs) is very low and the average supplemental insurance cost is less than the threshold in section 7 of the guidelines.

So even if you were paying 1000 a month in childcare you would still be responsible for your proportion, 27% or $270 a month. Subtract that from the 738 a month and you really are only getting 468$ a month in CS.

So suffice to say you are not going to be moving yourself forward.

To move yourself forward you need to:

(a) Find a better partner who has a much higher income to support your needs; or
(b) Improve your income earning potential; or
(c) Win a lottery.

Child support is neither (a), (b) nor (c) and I think you have been given some impression by someone that CS will solve your problems. It will NOT. You are better off getting a better job.

The other parent has the children equal amount of the time and is able to earn more than you. That doesn't bother you at all as an "equal parent"? A "SuperParent" would simply go out and improve their income generally (in my opinion).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
He stated in his motion that it was with notice and unopposed. What does this mean??
It means you are over your head and need a lawyer and should be doing what he is doing. Retaining one too. (Yes I realize your dire financial circumstances... As well as everyone else who posts here.)

But, what it really means is that he has filed with notice to you. Which is true as you were served the documentation. But, it is odd that it would be marked "unopposed".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I am opposed to an extension. I see no reason we cannot get a case conference scheduled asap.
I would recommend against opposing a request on first appearance for a delay so legal counsel can be retained. 99% of the time they are granted as there is no urgency in your matter per-say and the counter argument is that you have waited 7 years to seek child support. Sorry to say, although you have urgency now, it won't matter... The seven years of non action on your part is going to slap you each and every time you go to court.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I would like to mediate but I know he just wants to pay nothing and try to fight over it.
I caution you to not mind read the other party. You did file an application to court demonstrating you do not want to "mediate". Don't pull this nonsense with the court or this forum or you will surely find yourself on everyone's ignore list.

You filed an application in the public court system to litigate this matter and not mediate. You brought the matter to the litigated process. A judge will not buy this nonsense from you and will be much harsher than I am being.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
His fiancee said that she will make him quit his job before he pays me anything.
She could say the moon is made of spare ribs and it means jack squat. You need to put your anxieties aside and ignore this kind of nonsense. These kinds of stupid statements are common as teeth and won't matter at all to a judge or anyone. So put it out of your mind now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
He makes over 50k more then me a year. I am well below poverty level income and he still insists I split on sports and everything down the middle.
See my comments above on what you should do...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
4 years ago he talked me into switching the kids schools to his area. I agreed to it as he said on my weeks he would drive the kids home from school to my home every day and on the days that he couldnt drive them to my house from school hed give me 10.00 for gas. He adhered to our agreement for the first 9 months since then I have been driving back and forth fully with no monetary compensation at all as per our verbal agreement.
Sorry to say, unless you have evidence of the transfer of the $10 a judge will not even consider this hearsay evidence. It is immaterial to the matter. YOu are responsible to get the children to school. You are expected to live in close proximity to the school. A judge will more than likely point out that you live further away, agreed to the change in school and should make changes to live closer as it is in the children's best interests.

Justices do NOT like people who are penny wise and pound foolish. You have been warned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
It costs me 500 per month in gas just getting my kids back and forth to school. I am beyond broke.
THEN MOVE CLOSER TO THE SCHOOL AND PUT THAT 500 TOWARDS RENT!

Continued...
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Old 05-09-2014, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I cant wait any longer to have case conference set up. Please help aid me in my next step.
Your next step in my opinion is to agree to the adjournment and wait till he gets a lawyer on the file. If a lawyer shows up to the motion to request an ajournment to get up-to-speed they will be successful and you will be paying the other parties costs for being silly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
Can I file a motion to oppose the extension or at least agree to the extension as long as I see that a case conference date is set up?? This has now become an emergency situation.
No. This is not become an "emergency" situation. To you it may be but I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...e-court-13291/

You will fail and have to pay SIGNIFICANT COSTS and will damage your case on a go-forward basis if you try to file "urgent". Please retain a lawyer to advise you properly.

Continued...

Last edited by Tayken; 05-09-2014 at 03:19 PM.
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Old 05-09-2014, 03:07 PM
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Continued...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I am opposed to an extension. I see no reason we cannot get a case conference scheduled asap.
I would recommend against opposing a request on first appearance for a delay so legal counsel can be retained. 99% of the time they are granted as there is no urgency in your matter per-say and the counter argument is that you have waited 7 years to seek child support. Sorry to say, although you have urgency now, it won't matter... The seven years of non action on your part is going to slap you each and every time you go to court.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
I would like to mediate but I know he just wants to pay nothing and try to fight over it.
I caution you to not mind read the other party. You did file an application to court demonstrating you do not want to "mediate". Don't pull this nonsense with the court or this forum or you will surely find yourself on everyone's ignore list.

You filed an application in the public court system to litigate this matter and not mediate. You brought the matter to the litigated process. A judge will not buy this nonsense from you and will be much harsher than I am being.

...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Super mom View Post
It is causing issues between myself and boyfriend as I cant even afford to pay the bills I promised to pay once I moved in with him. Please help.
Your "boyfriend" (commonlaw husband) sounds like a deadbeat to me. He should be supporting you not seeking "payment". This individual either needs to support you or you need to find someone who is willing to. His income may be considered as part of the whole "household income" if you go to court and claim it is "urgent" due to your financial situation. You will be making a claim that will require under Rule 13 that the income of your common law husband be provided and for the purposes of CS calculations in accordance with case law and the CSG.

This is WHY you NEED to retain a lawyer and not play around with our legal system this way.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Sorry about the choppy nature of this posting. Their is a limit to how many characters are allowed. I tried to splice it up but appear to have messed it up. The bulk of the necessary content is there. Some of it posted twice it appears.

Last edited by Tayken; 05-09-2014 at 03:21 PM.
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Old 05-09-2014, 03:43 PM
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If you've recently moved in with your boyfriend he shouldn't be considered your common law spouse automatically unless he's the father of one or more of your children.

According to Revenue Canada:
Common-law partner
This applies to a person who is not your spouse, with whom you are living in a conjugal relationship, and to whom at least one of the following situations applies. He or she:

a. has been living with you in a conjugal relationship, and this current relationship has lasted at least 12 continuous months;
b. is the parent of your child by birth or adoption; or
c. has custody and control of your child (or had custody and control immediately before the child turned 19 years of age) and your child is wholly dependent on that person for support.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:51 PM
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Im on my cell phone so hard to break things up. My income for 2013 was actually 11,000. I cannot get regular employment due to situation with having to pick up my children after school daily and bring them to school daily. When the kids first started school in his district he had agreed to watch the kids after school and drive them home once I was finished work as I did have a "regular full time job" at the time. After one week of him keeping kids till I was finished work (1 hour after school daily) he said that if I wanted to continue to leave the kids with him I would have to pay to babysit. At the time I was being supplemented by ontario works so ontario works paid his fiancee babysitting costs. Which I found to be ridiculous, he fed me all these promises in order for me to agree to switch the kids schools only to benefit him further. I had spoken with a lawyer a few days prior to that on a free consult and he urged me to put all of the things on paper that he told me he verbally agreed to. I drew up a document and he refused to sign it but the kids were already a few days in and there was nothing I could do. The lawyer sent him a letter on my behalf. The letter just stated the same as he had verbally said to me. At that time I also inquired about legal aid and was refused. I have basically applied once a year for legal aid to help me with this but have gotten no wheresince I have been Iinvolved with flic. I have lived with my boyfriend for 4 months he owns his own home and has no children of his own. He is now financially struggling and getting into debt because he thought I could cover the bills but gas is now even more costly since I live a bit further. I have confronted him several times in the past and tried to settle out of court with his refusal and simply puts me down for having little money. His fiancee is a millionaire although it is all tied up in investments. They have been living together for 6 years and my ex husband claims he resides with his parents for the entire time not claiming common law. She does not work and they have a child together. He makes 65 k a year. I have a recording of conversation from just before I served papers as well again asking could I get some help financially in driving kids to and from school or could they stick to their word and start driving again as I just couldnt bear doing it all myself anymore as I have been doing it all for last 3 years they still refused. Im not sure how to do this on my own, but have no other options. Thank you for your insight. Even tho you seem to think negatively of my post your opinion is still greatly appreciated. I dont I take things to heart
Or take offense at all. Obtaining a lawyer is impossible for me as supporting my kids with very limited money is already difficult. Will try woman's shelter as you suggested. Thank you.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abeona View Post
If you've recently moved in with your boyfriend he shouldn't be considered your common law spouse automatically unless he's the father of one or more of your children.

According to Revenue Canada:
Common-law partner
This applies to a person who is not your spouse, with whom you are living in a conjugal relationship, and to whom at least one of the following situations applies. He or she:

a. has been living with you in a conjugal relationship, and this current relationship has lasted at least 12 continuous months;
b. is the parent of your child by birth or adoption; or
c. has custody and control of your child (or had custody and control immediately before the child turned 19 years of age) and your child is wholly dependent on that person for support.

This is why I was confused when being turned down by flic as the lawyer there knew my situation and said I didnt have to reapply as he knew it was retaking longer then usual due to my self employment and income varying so much. He was still willing to help me but the secretary made me reapply and then I was declined. A lawyer on a free consultation explained to me common law is different when it comes to applying for things such as legal aid. Even if I only lived with him for one day I would no longer qualify. T
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