Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 06:35 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,518
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused0123 View Post
If my baby was at an age where he could communicate than maybe it would be easier for my son father not to be stressed out. My son father has anger issues.
Firstly, I think you should rethink your wording. It's not YOUR son.

Secondly, do you have a restraining order since you've been so abused and fear him? I may have missed it...any police involvement? You're telling me your ex told someone on record he calls his infant names .. on record? He had the balls to do it in front of your mother? My ex's mom made similar claims to assist ex in case. I doubt any man would do such things in front of their spouses mother. Something sounds fishy.

If you argued did you contribute to the "loud arguments" in front of your child? Or are you telling us you sat in a corner silent?

Do you understand that your relationship may have been clouding your vision of him as a father? Sounds to me like you two may have been arguing during these times. How do you know how he is with the baby without the turmoil of the relationship? I doubt he just gets home from work and begins swearing and punching headboards. Again...more to the story here.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ase-law-16809/

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused0123 View Post
So dont go around saying I have refused to let him see the baby because this isn't the case. Dont assume that I'm saying all this because he has finally asked for custody. Because I left him for these reasons. Just because other women out there use this card, doesn't mean the rest of us, are not legit.
If you feel you're being abused. Call the police. Was CAS involved from his extreme abuse of the child that you claim? I bet not. Why? No police ... no CAS ... No restraining orders ..you meet with him alone at malls (not scared). This is a control thing. I know all about it.

I hope you have massive proof, police reports, CAS reports, child abuse evidence (other than your moms accounts) to back your decision up to not let him see his own child without supervision.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-10-2014 at 06:41 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 06:43 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,518
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
she may have thought you were exaggerating the incident. Maybe you have a history of being a drama queen or making a mountain out of a molehill. She is the grandmother of the child and I cannot see her letting him mistreat the child in front of her.
Agreed. Grandmother's a protectors of the children first and foremost. Something tells me this is blown WAY out of proportion. Strikes a little nerve.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 06:52 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
This really irks me. Its so convenient to say: my baby's daddy is abusive blah blah only when he wants to see the child or when custody to mom is threatened. How come you didn't label him as abusive then? Or any time within the past year? Come on, you surely know he is the father and with that comes rights to access.

So here is the deal: If he is an abuser, it does look rather fishy at this point and time. Because it's never been an issue thus far.
OMG!! LOL, being there, heard all this. Abuser! All fathers are! Go get them!

It's because a sole custody thingy. Sole custody is gooooood for the mothers because it involves $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 06:58 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,518
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Past few posters on this site have made me nauseous.

DivorcingMama, now this. I hate this "after we separate.. father = criminal" and needs supervision. No history of abuse, no evidence of abuse ... hell .. no concern the whole relationship. Only after separation. Disgusting.

"My baby .. my sons father .. cant trust ex's mom". It doesn't take a psychologist to see what's happening here. Wish we had his story as well.

I've heard stories of tremendous abuse on this site that are real and grotesque. Where I just want to reach out and hug the poster and tell her everything will be okay. The fathers in these scenarios require supervision and counselling. Everything in this story stinks of "control".

What are your options? Let the man see his child alone. Not around you .. not around you and a bunch of your friends lifting your noses up at him. He has that right. That's what you don't understand.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-10-2014 at 07:01 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:12 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Past few posters on this site have made me nauseous.

DivorcingMama, now this. I hate this "after we separate.. father = criminal" and needs supervision. No history of abuse, no evidence of abuse ... hell .. no concern the whole relationship. Only after separation. Disgusting.

"My baby .. my sons father .. cant trust ex's mom". It doesn't take a psychologist to see what's happening here. Wish we had his story as well.

I've heard stories of tremendous abuse on this site that are real and grotesque. Where I just want to reach out and hug the poster and tell her everything will be okay. The fathers in these scenarios require supervision and counselling. Everything in this story stinks of "control".
Wonderful, wonderful post!

I have the same experience. A couple is in relationship for almost 10 years. Married for a few years, have a child. Never a serious problem and then BOOM, she stated to sleep around and all of a sudden, her husband is an abusive alcoholic, druggy, literally overnight. Not a single documented proof. As in this case: my child, my rules, you will do what I tell you to do, I am not asking for your opinion.

I am a woman myself but just cannot stand these women that become poor little victims the moment they decided to divorce, because all they want is a sole custody, full control, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY and nothing in the best interest of the children.

Sole custody is in the best interest of money hungry mothers. At least this is a typical picture I see. Sorry didn't want to offend anybody but that's the way I see things are.
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:12 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Here's my opinion on the whole thing. My Ex was abusive to me and out of fear I hesitated a long time before finally pressing charges and having him arrested ... there was always the possibility that things would improve, that with more patience it would stop. Big mistake ...

Regardless of how he treated me, he was a good father. Had he been violent towards our son, just once - there would have been cops on my doorstep the very same day! When it comes to protecting the kid, there's no hesitation ...... If OP is that concerned over the child's welfare why wait all this time?
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:16 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
Here's my opinion on the whole thing. My Ex was abusive to me and out of fear I hesitated a long time before finally pressing charges and having him arrested ... there was always the possibility that things would improve, that with more patience it would stop. Big mistake ...

Regardless of how he treated me, he was a good father. Had he been violent towards our son, just once - there would have been cops on my doorstep the very same day! When it comes to protecting the kid, there's no hesitation ...... If OP is that concerned over the child's welfare why wait all this time?
Because it wasn't needed. Because it was just fabricated NOW...
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:25 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,518
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Janibel said it.

If there was one instance of child abuse .. any good mother or father would call the authorities. I know I would. CAS is here for that reason. Did she? Nope. She'll send pictures .. show up at a mall to rub in his face what she's willing to allow for access and wonder why he's upset about it.

Janibel is one of the posters here who has endured nightmares. And still she can put that aside for her child, realizing he's a good dad. But she's right .. child abuse = call authorities. Not deny access later during custody/access stuff. Gross.
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:27 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother View Post
Because it wasn't needed. Because it was just fabricated NOW...
You could be right, your could be wrong? We have no way of knowing what really happened here do we - not from what little explanation was given.
Bottom line is this, if you or your child are being abused (defining what abuse is seems to be the issue here) call the cops or CAS immediately and let them figure it out. If it's serious, they WILL press charges for you.

You can't simply up and decide that a parent is guilty and then take away their rights to be with their own child. Doesn't work that way.

*** or at least it shouldn't.

Last edited by Janibel; 11-10-2014 at 07:30 PM. Reason: taking the BS into account.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2014, 07:29 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 721
Straittohell is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Let's pretend for a second that he really is a terrible person and there is a legitimate concern.

What are the OPs options if she truly did fail to report any of this previously, and it was simply an oversight on her part?

Let's just humour this one.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Amend Order or Small Claims for Collection of Court Costs? Other options? odinn Financial Issues 9 11-10-2014 07:50 PM
Disorganized/Obstructionist ex - options? Javaddict Divorce & Family Law 11 10-17-2013 01:58 PM
Options for access scheduling blinkandimgone Parenting Issues 4 09-06-2011 11:52 PM
Serving notice to wife - my options? Canucks Divorce & Family Law 2 07-14-2011 09:32 PM
Options to Consider? hubby Divorce & Family Law 10 12-08-2005 11:42 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:50 AM.