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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2014, 09:51 PM
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It seems for now ex broke in, although I will pick up d10 only on Friday.
She can 'wing' her weekends because she has no money and no friends so she don't have arranged/paid programs in advance, while we have quite a few sometimes 3-6 months in advance.
But she still insist on the "floating" schedule which would change every time when there is any out-of-ordinary weekend. How can I fix that?
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
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But she still insist on the "floating" schedule which would change every time when there is any out-of-ordinary weekend. How can I fix that?
Explain to her, that you won't be changing the year's schedule everytime a weekend changes, and then ignore her subsequent requests for it to work that way. That's insane, that anyone would think that is how this works.

Schedule changes, will be changes for the dates highlited/or agreed upon, in email, only.

I have to juggle weekends with my kids sometimes, so we can make sure to attend a family function, or some tournament, etc. The whole calendar doesn't do a seismic shift due to this.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:07 AM
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Next time if you have to switch something send her a calendar view of exactly what your expectations are....
This is a good idea. Specify exact dates. Don't say, "hey, can we switch schedules this coming weekend?" Too vague. Specify dates and times, with the note to say, that beyond this change, the regular schedule will remain unchanged.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:16 AM
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I would like to exchange my ex to your ex. I can't explain this to mine.

Ignoring her doesn't seem to fly very well. She threatened me to call the police on me if I pick up d10 form the school. How would I explain to them that this is my weekend??

She caved in this time, but I know her, she is going to mess with this at the first occasion, which is going to be likely the summer vacation, if not then the Christmas break. 8 more years. (
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
I would like to exchange my ex to your ex. I can't explain this to mine.

Ignoring her doesn't seem to fly very well. She threatened me to call the police on me if I pick up d10 form the school. How would I explain to them that this is my weekend??

She caved in this time, but I know her, she is going to mess with this at the first occasion, which is going to be likely the summer vacation, if not then the Christmas break. 8 more years. (
Let her call the cops... That's perfect...Sounds like she knows how to play you.

For the first two years I printed out a "master" calendar and wrote on each day our initials. When we wanted to switch I pulled out the original "master" calendar. We changed what was needed to be changed. I then emailed her a copy again. When weekends gets switched it means you each have the kids for 3 weekends in a row at some point.

I suggest you do this now. You should know your schedule all the way into 2068.

For me my schedule remains the same Sept-June. It then changes for the summer as it goes weekly instead of 2-2-5-5.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:27 AM
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...I would like to exchange my ex to your ex. I can't explain this to mine...
(
For which one? I have more than one. :-)
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 04-03-2014, 10:29 AM
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OurFamilyWizard would be a good idea, as it has a shared calendar, that you both would be able to offer exchanges/changes to, and once those changes are done, you can see what the remainder of the schedule still looks like. Then you have those logged.

It would also help with the communication too, I'm sure.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:43 AM
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There is a good chance that in my case a call to the police would result in dispatching the swat unit, so letting things get there is a very, very last resort, and I would do that only after a careful preparation.

Yeah, that might be a good idea, I'll try get her agree in a the printed out fixed schedule.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:45 AM
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For which one? I have more than one. :-)
wow, do you enjoy divorcing or what?
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:45 AM
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IMO, I think you opened the gate for this issue by agreeing to give her the weekend.

The idea of a floating schedule is stupid. It opens things up to unnecessary issues and conflict by constantly having to reschedule the vast majority of the parenting schedule due to changes in weekends here and there.

Also, this is likely an issue due to people not reading the whole agreement. It sounds like you get EOW, but you also got march break, which your agreement likely provides for. Your ex is looking at the EOW clause, when the clause that is relevant in the march break clause, which likely provides that, in addition to EOW, you get March Break (in every other year or something). This length of parenting time overrides the normal schedule for its duration, after which, it goes back to normal.

It sounds like you've worked it out for now. But in future, simply advise the ex that March Break (and things like it) are in addition to EOW, and that the schedule doesn't change when they happen.
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