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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-02-2014, 05:26 PM
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Default what does "every second week" mean??

Stupid as it gets, is there any case law about this?
I have access "every second week".
What is "every second week?? Is it every odd or even week based on the calendar OR the week which follows one I didn't have access?????

Normally they are the same, but here is the not normal situation with a not normal woman and the implications:
During spring break d10 was with me for two consecutive weekends, March 8 and March 15. The following weekend (March 22) would have been mine based on the calendar, but I offered her to switch the March 22 and the March 29 weekends so she wouldn't need to spend 3 weekends in a row without d10. So she spent my weekend March 22 with d10, and I spent her weekend March 29 with d10. Based on the calendar on the coming weekend (April 5) d10 was supposed to be with me based on the calendar, and ex denies the access.

This is a pretty bad issue, as I've scheduled many programs months in advance for d10, booked events/paid tickets, organized day off, and of course my own programs.
If an additional or a missed weekend "shifts" the whole schedule, it makes the advance planning impossible.
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Old 04-02-2014, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
Stupid as it gets, is there any case law about this?
I have access "every second week".
What is "every second week?? Is it every odd or even week based on the calendar OR the week which follows one I didn't have access?????

Normally they are the same, but here is the not normal situation with a not normal woman and the implications:
During spring break d10 was with me for two consecutive weekends, March 8 and March 15. The following weekend (March 22) would have been mine based on the calendar, but I offered her to switch the March 22 and the March 29 weekends so she wouldn't need to spend 3 weekends in a row without d10. So she spent my weekend March 22 with d10, and I spent her weekend March 29 with d10. Based on the calendar on the coming weekend (April 5) d10 was supposed to be with me based on the calendar, and ex denies the access.

This is a pretty bad issue, as I've scheduled many programs months in advance for d10, booked events/paid tickets, organized day off, and of course my own programs.
If an additional or a missed weekend "shifts" the whole schedule, it makes the advance planning impossible.
No offense but this is the exact reason NOT to change access schedules.

They remain as they are from here to forever.

Next time if you have to switch something send her a calendar view of exactly what your expectations are.

Every other week means.... one week her one week you...there is no odd or even it's just alternating. She has one you have one.
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Old 04-02-2014, 05:58 PM
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that sounds good and easy, but life always creates weird situations, like the summer vacation when we spend two weekends together in a row or just a missed access due to sickness can create the above mess.
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Old 04-02-2014, 06:18 PM
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I have my kids 2 weekends out of 3 from thursday-monday. We always stick to the schedule if her vacation falls on my 2 weekends then i lose them and vice versa.

Kind of sucks in the summer, I think it can end up that I go a month without seeing my kids - stupid divorce.

The gatekeeper once let me have my kids on a weekend day of hers but only after she tried to blackmail me.

Last edited by Links17; 04-02-2014 at 06:22 PM.
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Old 04-02-2014, 06:48 PM
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Blackmail is trying to make another person do something illegal. Not a word to be used lightly. It often comes up amongst divorced couples and typically used out of its meaning.

Never change access schedules - I'd have to agree for the VERY reason above.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:23 PM
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Are you aware of any court decisions where the "every second week" is clarified? Only an idiot interpret it the way my ex does, but there is no reasoning which would work with her.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
Are you aware of any court decisions where the "every second week" is clarified? Only an idiot interpret it the way my ex does, but there is no reasoning which would work with her.
If you try to make me do things you are not entitled to so I can see my kids, it is blackmail
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:15 PM
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You've created this issue. How do you know she hasn't pre-planned activities based on the annual calendar before you started switching weekends? At the beginning of each calendar year, it is clear which weekend belongs to whom. And sometimes, due to holidays, vacations, etc., some time will be missed. But you don't change the calendar. She's right, you are wrong.
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:21 PM
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mcdreamy,
I'm trying to stick to the calendar schedule, she is messing it up. We have 3 booked/paid program in the next few months based on the original schedule we have been following for years. We switched one weekend because of the spring break when we went to Punta Cana. We agree in that switch in writing.

But back to the original question: other than it is common sense to stick to the calendar (otherwise it is impossible for everybody to schedule things in advance) have you ever heard of any court case when the judge had to spell this out?
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:22 PM
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The spring break rearrangement was due to extenuating circumstances. Now the regular schedule resumes. As you point out, regular scheduling would be a nightmare if making exceptions due to special circumstances messed it up every time.

You agreed to some access time trades to make things better for the child, but the regular schedule still holds true. Should your ex be uncooperative with returning to it, you would be unable to accommodate any future special circumstances for fear of a recurrence. Yes, that's a form of blackmail.
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