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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-07-2017, 02:15 PM
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The kids are not pawns. Stop playing litigation chess. Nor do I think a judge will find the conduct of either of you amusing.
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Old 05-30-2017, 12:56 PM
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Update: after filing my answer I received an email from my ex. He offered to drop off the kids at my house instead of daycare when I don't work if I meet his conditions. If I don't, he will not do drop offs.

1. He has the right to keep the kids for himself if he wants to take day off work.

2. I must interact and behave according to his standard by politely greeting him and say "hello, how are you" and respond to his pleasantries "I am great, thank-you for asking" and "have a nice day today, goodbye". Apparently he is unable to do this before he rings the door bell.

3. Ensure the kids are not rushed into the house when dropped off so he can say goodbye to them at his own pace after ringing the door bell and me opening the door.

4. Allow him to verbally communicate in the doorway any messages the kids want him to share with me (or messages that he wants to tell me for his own vested interests).

If I agree in an email in writing he will try it and if he doesn't feel it meets his standards he will not do drop offs or allow me to do pickups at his house for that matter.

Thoughts on what I should do?
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Old 05-30-2017, 09:58 PM
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A lot of silly control games going on...

Overall however that offer isn't horrible

1 - Seems potentially dicey, as it could lead to him taking your time.

2 - Should be happening anyways. Your kids are seeing you guys at these times and it affects them.

3 - Myself I would prefer if my ex did the goodbyes before coming to the door, but it's not horrible..

4. Messages should really be done over the phone or email. If you guys disagree on something the kids don't need to see that.

As for agreeing to it or not, if your able to live with it, it sure beats the expenses of court in my opinion.
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Old 05-30-2017, 10:16 PM
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A while back you stated that no judge would agree to a 2 week absence from a parent for a child under 7. I do not think that is necessarily true. The judge for my daughter suggested S5 have 3 weeks in summer and next year 4 weeks.

Rather than set the actual weeks he suggested that they take every other year to be their choice. So in odd years Mom has priority and in even years Dad has first choice.

It seems a little ridiculous to set the actual weeks in stone as no one can tell what the future might be. A child might want to go in a hockey camp or similar or get invited to a friends camp so both parents need to be flexible for the children's needs. No one is going to win any favours with a teenager ( and they are all going to be teenagers eventually) by saying " first 2 weeks in August are mine and I don't care if you have an invite to a friends camp you are coming with me". So you need to look at the future and make the wording flexible for the benefit of the children.

It's not unreasonable for Dad to want to secure at least 2 weeks in the summer when he will likely have vacation and might plan a trip.
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Old 05-31-2017, 05:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
A while back you stated that no judge would agree to a 2 week absence from a parent for a child under 7. I do not think that is necessarily true. The judge for my daughter suggested S5 have 3 weeks in summer and next year 4 weeks.

Rather than set the actual weeks he suggested that they take every other year to be their choice. So in odd years Mom has priority and in even years Dad has first choice.

It seems a little ridiculous to set the actual weeks in stone as no one can tell what the future might be. A child might want to go in a hockey camp or similar or get invited to a friends camp so both parents need to be flexible for the children's needs. No one is going to win any favours with a teenager ( and they are all going to be teenagers eventually) by saying " first 2 weeks in August are mine and I don't care if you have an invite to a friends camp you are coming with me". So you need to look at the future and make the wording flexible for the benefit of the children.

It's not unreasonable for Dad to want to secure at least 2 weeks in the summer when he will likely have vacation and might plan a trip.
I agreed to having two set weeks any week in the year he wanted as long as it is not over a weekend the kids are normally scheduled with myself. That would allow a 14 days straight. 18 days (over my weekend) is too long and would cause swapping of weekends. He would not agree to selecting each year by rotating, demanding set weeks.

He declined this situation and demanded set weeks of his choosing. Difficult working with someone who can't agree on anything.
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Old 05-31-2017, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzieSunshine View Post
I agreed to having two set weeks any week in the year he wanted as long as it is not over a weekend the kids are normally scheduled with myself. That would allow a 14 days straight. 18 days (over my weekend) is too long and would cause swapping of weekends. He would not agree to selecting each year by rotating, demanding set weeks.

He declined this situation and demanded set weeks of his choosing. Difficult working with someone who can't agree on anything.


Just so you know in most cases summer holidays supersede the regular schedule. Just like Christmas time and such... if it's your year for Christmas but it falls on his weekend I don't suppose you give up your Christmas so he can have his weekend?

My husbands agreement states two weeks in July and two weeks in August but can't span longer than 14 days. I think you are both making this much more complicated than it needs to be because neither of you want to negotiate.


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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 05-31-2017, 08:44 PM
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Where is the "kids best interest" reflected in there ?
Only no 1 can actually have an impact on kids .
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