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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-19-2008, 03:02 PM
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Default A Waiting Game

We filed for a modification of the court order at the end of October, and served my stepson's bio-mom with the court papers a day after filing. It has been three weeks, and we haven't received anything back. (We don't have a lawyer and are representing ourselves, so any documents, etc. would be mailed to our home.) Our court date is in two weeks. This is stressing me out because given the fact that we don't have a lawyer, we'd like some time to review the bio-mom's responses to prepare for the court date.

She has 30 days to respond, which means she needs to respond by the end of this month.

In your experience, have you been successful at receiving the responses, etc. on time?
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Old 11-19-2008, 04:20 PM
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In my experience, they do not respond at all. The only items filed by my ex's lawyer prior to yesterday was the support order. Yesterday, on the 110th day since being served, they provided financial disclosure, but it was not filed nor served, it was added to the record and I was given a copy of it.
So basically, my experience is that unless they are a parent who is fair & child oriented, if it's not to their advantage, they will drag their heels.
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:30 AM
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If she has 30 days to respond, then don't expect to get anything until the 30th day. Just think - do you pay your bills before the due date? Besides, if the ex has a lawyer, expect the wait to be dragged out just as long as the courts will tolerate. For the lawyer, it is a win-win proposition: they keep you in the dark and off balance; they keep the cash flowing into their own pockets.

Keep in mind two universal laws of nature:

1. the primary goal of all life is survival (translate: looking out for Number One)

2. electricity follows the path of least resistance (decision making in complex systems does the same thing)

The lawyer understands this and will behave and act accordingly. They will do what ever they can to place obstacles in your path while at the same time improve their own position (both strategically AND financially...) As altruistic YOU may be (or even the ex), the ex's lawyer is NOT.

Try not to stress about it. There's nothing much you can do. If you get into the "system" (ie., go to court), then you are very likely going to be frustrated at every turn.

Sorry, I don't mean to put a damper on your hopes, but even just a cursory look at some of the posts here is evidence enough of this harsh reality.

Best of luck.

btw, I still think you are awesome for standing by your partner and step-son in this most difficult time in their lives. Hang in there!
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