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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-29-2017, 10:39 PM
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Default Waiting...

The 30 days has now passed since I filed an application to decide child support, custody & access with no response, (common law so no division of assets) now what happens?

I admire you veterans of the systems, I found the 30 days painfully long to wait, and I see that a lot of you have been doing this for years now. My second question is, how do you cope with the anxiety of waiting?? I honestly feel my life is on some kind of "hold" now waiting to see what happens.
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Old 11-29-2017, 11:04 PM
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You just wait, at the first appearance an extension will happen, then a few days before that a response that they have council and you wait for the next step, and and in a year or two or more you could be done.
Wish I could help you on the Anxiety but it’s a waiting thing now, and sleepless nights
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Old 11-30-2017, 10:25 AM
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Have you checked at the courthouse that they have not filed a response and mailed your copy.

My daughters ex did that. His lawyer filed the response at court and apparently mailed a copy to her, which arrived the day before the court date. Lucky for her we had checked at the court and had discovered the response in time to deal with it.
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Old 11-30-2017, 11:06 AM
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I called my lawyers office yesterday didnt speak with her directly, but one of the assistants said they had received nothing. I am assuming the response would go directly to my lawyers office and not my mailing address. I am trying not to call the lawyer too much to not rack up my bill. Asking here is so much cheaper .
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Old 11-30-2017, 11:55 AM
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Expect a request for late service. I believe they only have 30 days for the first one so they will either request an adjournment at the first appearance or a late service.
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Old 11-30-2017, 10:39 PM
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I am in my own waiting period right now. Just want all of this to go away. I feel you. Time definitely makes things easier though.
I have learned to distract myself as much as possible when I start over-thinking. Stay busy and try not to obsess over things. Look up a new Netflix show and get absorbed into it. Go for a run or sign up for a class. Don't think about him and what he's doing. Focus on what's best for your kids right now. Don't view your life as "on hold". It is marching full steam ahead and you need to keep living and doing the things you love.


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Old 11-30-2017, 11:35 PM
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Hi kate

I've been in the waiting game for over 7 years now. Ex takes me to court every year (sometimes 2x/year). In time you just learn to distract yourself. I keep everything in a "current" file with ex's name on it. The rest I have dutifully put away in plastic storage bin in my office closet. I found that if I put the documents out-of-sight it helps.... but yes it is always there.

I recall the worst part was going to court with lawyer expecting everyone to be ready and for judge to render decision. This was after the traditional adjournment and waiting games that lawyers to play (where they make their real money - not courtroom stuff). It was very frustrating to go, after psyching oneself up for the big day, only to find out that ex got another reprieve. Very frustrating, and expensive. You see, my ex is a pro at delay tactics. The only delay tactic he hasn't used is going to jail (I've heard that's a real good one).

My advice is to to "compartmentalize" this whole situation. I was fortunate to not have child custody issues to deal with but I did still have the ongoing questions from well-meaning friends who asked "isn't it over yet?" or "what is wrong with the system?" I found it very tiring to have to then "educate" people into the ridiculous family court system. Yep. It's a shit-show for sure.

Keep your sense of humor and look at positive things: you aren't still with the idiot... you are better without him... etc. Sooner or later you will actually believe what you are saying to others!

Projects (cleaning) have helped me.... I make lists of things to do. I have a really clean kitchen and bathroom - thanks to my ex.

Hang in there!
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Old 12-01-2017, 12:28 AM
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Thanks all for your kind words! I feel he is just going to stall for as long as he can because he doesn't want to pay support and i find it frustrating the system allows it.

And yes, cleaning is so therapeutic, so is throwing junk/clutter out, I am becoming a minimalist because of all of this
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Old 12-01-2017, 08:09 AM
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My partner is on the opposite side. His ex filed for support and s7 expenses she isnt entitled to. Her application was filed almost a year ago and he has been waiting for her to file again following a dispute resolution meeting. Every time she sends something irrelevant he is in a mood for a week or so. He says its like waiting for an execution date. He struggles to find things to take his mind off of it but mostly fails. Everyone has great advice here. Try to find things to do or that bring you joy. If that doesnt work, see about talking to someone. A support group or a therapist. Sometimes having someone talk you through your feelings helps too!
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