Visitations and Access of a 2 year old

[Access Dad]

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD

I think I know why lawyers use it - just bring people back to fight.

I agree with that

[Teenwolf]

Well, you already stated earlier why she is taking this stance: she wants to keep all the control. Control seems to be a recurring theme with parents that are not in agreement.

Have you researched any case law that addresses your particular situation? 14 months seems like a reasonable amount of time, but I'm unaware of what the court precedence is. This will be key.

[WorkingDAD]

Originally Posted by Access Dad

Well that's where my story differs from the OP's. I have supervised access because a substance abuse problem. But I have now been clean and sober for 14 months and my ex is still saying that access should be continued to be at her discretion and supervised. Since I have filed as exhibits 2 hair follicle tests proving that I have been clean for more than a year, she cannot dispute my sobriety. So the only argument she has is that I haven't been sober long enough. She just doesn't want to lose control if I have unsupervised and specified access. I don't understand it really. I thought she would be proud of the changes I've made, but I'm completely floored by vigorous opposition to even the thought of my daughter and I having unsupervised access now that I've removed the risk factor. She was always very encouraging for me to get help and overcome my troubles. Now that I have done that, she wants access to remain supervised and unspecified.

And that leads to conclusion that she was not really. Yuo should not be surprised that she is not proud. You are the one and your daughter should be proud - do not mind your ex.

Just multiply by 0 all that bla bla bla from other side and go to court. You and your D will have one reason to be proud.

I did not check but from top of my head you had supervised access (not exchange but access - right?) for 5 years? (I have no idea how someone could survive it and what impact it had on a child - just crazy)

[NBDad]

Push forward to have the time increased gradually. Get a parenting plan created that gradually increases the time you have. Agree to stipulation of providing hair follicle tests yearly or whatever to prove continued sobriety, at least in the short term.

She'd have an awful bugger of a time arguing that. Doesn't mean she won't, as has been mentioned it almost always boils down to a control issue.

Keep moving forward and eventually you will get to where you want to be.

[Access Dad]

Originally Posted by Teenwolf

Well, you already stated earlier why she is taking this stance: she wants to keep all the control. Control seems to be a recurring theme with parents that are not in agreement.

Have you researched any case law that addresses your particular situation? 14 months seems like a reasonable amount of time, but I'm unaware of what the court precedence is. This will be key.

I've read quite a bit of case law that relates to my situation and the consesus is that supervision is not meant to be a long term solution. If the access parent has changed the circumstances that required access to be supervised, the courts look at it as a material change that affects the best interests of the child and usually remove the supervision term. I am very confident that a court will find that 14 months of sobriety is adequate to demonstrate that my problems are behind me and the child is no longer at risk in my unsupervised care. My lawyer is very confident in this as well. Besides, my case conference isn't until March and from there it will probably be another 2-3 months to have the motion heard. I'm 14 months sober now. By the time I'm in front of a judge who will make the final decision, I will have been sober closer to 2 yrs. That's how look at it. Try to be positive about the delays. For every day that my ex wants to delay this, that's one more day of sobriety under my belt.

[Access Dad]

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD

And that leads to conclusion that she was not really. Yuo should not be surprised that she is not proud. You are the one and your daughter should be proud - do not mind your ex.

Just multiply by 0 all that bla bla bla from other side and go to court. You and your D will have one reason to be proud.

I did not check but from top of my head you had supervised access (not exchange but access - right?) for 5 years? (I have no idea how someone could survive it and what impact it had on a child - just crazy)

I gotcha ya WorkingDad. Means alot coming from a guy as experienced as you with court process. I read the decision in your case on CanLII. Good for you. Five years has been rough, but I don't think it compares to what you had to go through. Your glorius victory is inspirational. And what most impresses me is that you still remain on this site helping and sharing even though your court battle is over.

[Access Dad]

Originally Posted by NBDad

Push forward to have the time increased gradually. Get a parenting plan created that gradually increases the time you have. Agree to stipulation of providing hair follicle tests yearly or whatever to prove continued sobriety, at least in the short term.

She'd have an awful bugger of a time arguing that. Doesn't mean she won't, as has been mentioned it almost always boils down to a control issue.

Keep moving forward and eventually you will get to where you want to be.

Thank you NBDad. Yes my affidavit states that I am prepared to submit to future random follicle tests to prove that remain sober. The court already has two follicle tests dating back 1 year of complete absitinence.

[WorkingDAD]

Originally Posted by Access Dad

I gotcha ya WorkingDad. Means alot coming from a guy as experienced as you with court process. I read the decision in your case on CanLII. Good for you. Five years has been rough, but I don't think it compares to what you had to go through. Your glorius victory is inspirational. And what most impresses me is that you still remain on this site helping and sharing even though your court battle is over.

I do not know man
For me what I had to go through is nothing compared to 5 years of supervised access
Make sure you will not go back where you have been for 5 years
Good luck