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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 01-22-2017, 09:07 PM
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Default Various questions

Hello everyone,

It has been a while.

So, as of late, I have signed the papers my ex wanted to avoid him asking for court costs (he wanted to take me to court and pay his costs if awarded). Kids are 13 and 16 so I obliged. The kids have been only treating me WORSE since living with ex. Guess they feel they can say/do to me, whatever they want now. Tears flowing. First question is a what would you do question.

My 13 year old got caught today using my credit card to take UBER rides unknown to me. He has been using this card to set up an account, a credit card I never use. It only came to my attention yesterday. Today UBER caught him. However, in the meantime, I cancelled my credit card yesterday and they said they would be doing an investigation for Fraud. The credit card company said they would be in contact with UBER to see if they could share anything with them in the meantime. Well, now that UBER has caught him and I have advised my ex of child using my card (he took it unknown to me some time ago), ex wants me to call credit card people back and say I was confused and forgot I set the UBER account up for my son using my credit card to get him off the hook. Well, that would not be at all true. So, what do I do. Do I call credit card people and say, look - my child stole and abused my card, don't worry about paying me back for the rides and please leave my son out of this, I will handle things accordingly? If I don't do this, when they find it out to be my son who has done this, what will they do to a 13 year old? Does anyone know off the top of their heads?

Onto another question, my ex asked for primary residence and stated I will have access to my children. I signed off to this. Does this mean I will have no shared decision making with respect to health, education, etc?

Thank you.
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:17 PM
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What does the order say about custody? Sole or joint? Who has sole?

Don't agree to things on their terms due to fears of the unknown. Do what you feel is best for your kid.

The parent is responsible for credit card. Where was credit card and how did son get access to it? They won't do much to a 13 year old.


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Old 01-22-2017, 09:35 PM
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The bank has a standard procedure where they turn over to their fraud investigation unit. Nothing you can do about it (nor should you IMO). This is with regards to insurance primarily as your credit card is likely insured for unauthorized use. If anything you very well might get a refund. Wouldn't hurt for police to come to your/ex's door and question your son. That's probably all that would happen (if that). You might start talking about your son on how he is going to deal with restitution. Chores, etc. If your ex doesn't agree then he is an enabler. Simple.
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Old 01-25-2017, 10:25 PM
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Apparently my son took a photo of my credit card at some point when he was living in my house.

I am confused about this whole change in primary care, access, etc. Initially our court order said, "I have primary custody and will consult with father on all major issues concerning the children. That the father will have the children every other weekend." Now, the current MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT is written as such: "It is hereby ordered that the parties shall have joint custody of the children and that their primary residence shall be with the applicant father. The responded mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." I am not getting this: "we will have joint custody but mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." What the heck does this mean?

Lastly, I am currently living off about 700-800 a month, while I desperately and frantically search for another job. Ex is making about 100K (plus,) with use of company vechile/gas etc on private time. EX is still asking for me to pay 30 percent of said 7 expenses. I don't see that this was a problem if I had more money, but this is not legally right I would think. Should I not ask that this also be changed in his lawyers letter to his MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT before I sign off on this stuff noted above?

Feeling confused. HELP if you can. God bless.

Last edited by Where is the Light; 01-25-2017 at 10:29 PM. Reason: wrong figures documented
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Old 01-26-2017, 02:31 PM
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Default Wording of Wording Minutes Meeting & Motion 14B

Hi all,

Well, ex and I did not end up going to court as was my ex's plan; that and asking for me to pay his court costs. His lawyer and myself (I had no lawyer this time round), hashed things mostly out through emails. But.......


I am confused about this whole change in primary care, access, etc. Initially our court order said, "I have primary custody and will consult with father on all major issues concerning the children. That the father will have the children every other weekend." Now, the current MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT is written as such: "It is hereby ordered that the parties shall have joint custody of the children and that their primary residence shall be with the applicant father. The responded mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." I am not getting this: "we will have joint custody but mother shall be consulted on all major decisions concerning the children." What the heck does this mean?

Lastly, I am currently living off about 700-800 a month, while I desperately and frantically search for another job. Ex is making about 100K (plus,) with use of company vechile/gas etc on private time. EX is still asking for me to pay 30 percent of said 7 expenses and is asking for me to officially sign the Form 14B. I don't see that this was a problem if I had more money, but this is not legally right I would think. Should I not ask that this also be changed in his lawyers letter to his MINUTES OF SETTLEMENT before I sign off on this stuff noted above on 14B?

Feeling confused and looking for feedback about the two issues above.

Thank you again.

Last edited by Where is the Light; 01-26-2017 at 02:32 PM. Reason: meant to post new post
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