Variation of Child Support

[SNAFU]

Hi all. I'm a brand new user but I've had ALOT of experience with Family Law issues. I've been separated (now divorced) since 2004. My ex-wife's husband thinks he's a lawyer and enjoys the process. At first I was confused and trying to settle the issues. He was writing all of the letters and then putting them through my ex-wife's lawyer. Costed me a bundle.

When I finally figured out what they were doing, I fired my lawyer and began to send her lawyer correspondence. They quickly figured out that I was returning the favour and fired their lawyer. That was 3 years ago.

Since then we have both been self-rep. She's filed 4 frivilous motions against me and now we another coming up. My ex-wife's husband has also done the same with his ex-wife. He has alienated my ex-wife's family. and they now see the children through me.

I am living in the former matrimonial home and have joint custody (week on / week off). I live in the East and they live in the West end. My ex-wife and her husband have always tried to change the children's school. We have a Final Order. A few weeks ago I received a Notice of Motion to Change the Final Order. They are looking at four variations (to the Order) including changing only one of the children's school to the West end. As for all of the variations that they are seeking, there is no "Material Change of Circumstance". I'm not really worried about any of what they are looking for.

About five weeks ago, my 15 year old son started asking me "what he had to do to live with me full time". I didn't know what to tell him. Then I received the Notice to Change. I filed my Response and put into the document that I was seeking a change in Custody.

The children have been putting up with severe emotional abuse at my ex-wife's house. I didn't know what to do about that. I couldn't prove anything and wasn't pressuring the kids to "tell me". I just knew that one day the time would come.

My son finally got the nerve to tell his mother and her husband that he "want's to live with his dad". They freaked on him. Basically she told my son that, "if he wanted to live with me, she never wants to see him again". My son is extremely sensitive. I called the school Social Worker and told him what had happened. He spoke to my son and my son told him everything.

A week passed and the kids went back to their mother's house. More emotional abuse with both of them yelling at them and calling him "two-faced". When I was about to drop him off he broke down crying and was inconsolable. It took me 45 minutes to calm him down.

The next day, I spoke to the Social Worker again. My son happened to have a Psychologist appointment the same day and was brought there by his mother.

The Psychologist spoke to my son and gave him "his options". When he got picked up from the Psychologist my son found the nerve to tell my ex-wife again that he wanted to live with me. Again she freaked. He asked that she bring him to my house. She didn't do that but brought him back to her house so that her husband could tear into him. They were all crying (her husband was yelling). Her husband finally brought him to my house and dropped him off. They took his jacket, knapsack, lunchbag and belt then left him there. It's over for him and he won't be going back ... they don't want him and changed his room the same night. He is now "the enemy" like everyone else.

He called me at my friend's house and told me that he was there. I was there within two minutes and I found him curled up in a ball crying. I was finally able to console him. He's happy now.

Now the question: I have filed my Response which included a change in Custody. They will not agree to a change of Custody for my son "on Consent". We have a Case Conference coming up on their Motion. I'm not sure what to do about the Child Support. Now that they have abandoned him and he is living with me, I'm pretty sure that he will remain with me. Should I be filing additional paperwork before the Case Conference? Maybe I need to file a Financial Statement and make an "addendum" to my "Response". Could I just include it in my Brief? ... you get the idea. Any suggestions would be appreciated. THANKS!

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

OMG, reading your story brought tears to my eyes. It breaks my heart to hear stories like this. How can a mother allow a man, regardless if he is her husband, do this to a child? How can a MOTHER!!!! do this to her own son!!!???!! It's absolutely appalling and borderline child abuse; no it IS child abuse, the worst kind, because it takes so long for emotional scares to heal!

You have the right to seek support for the 15 year old.
I'd include it in your response to seek a change coupled with an application for support, and include a full and frank financial disclosure and seek to have her do the same. If she refuses seek an order for her to disclose the same.

[privateone]

OMG.....Give your son the bear hug he deserves, and hold him high! you have him now, and all this can leave his memory as time passes. I'm very happy for both of you....made my eyes tear up too.

[SNAFU]

Thank you both for caring. I was wondering if I should file an "Amendment" to my Response to Motion to Change, whether I should just include it in my Case Conference Brief or whether I need to file a separate Notice of Motion. Any suggestions? I will file a new Financial before the Case Conference next month. Thanks, SNAFU.

[ikikass70]

Hi SNAFU,

Because a cc brief never goes into the continuing record, I don't think it would be wise to bring up new information.

We did this by requesting the divorce be severed from the corollary issues. The judge granted the severance, but as my partner didn't ask for a divorce in his original response we had to go back and make an amendment and get the s2bx to agree to the amendment and sign a letter stating as much. Let's just say she was a little difficult to convince.

I beleive that it would be the same in your situation as you never requested child support in your response. The judge may order it, but may not understand that it is not in the response. That's where you run into trouble.

Call the courts and ask what your best options may be.

[SNAFU]

UPDATE .... I went for a Motion because my ex-wife tried to change my daughter's school ... and the Judge changed the "timesharing" arrangement and now my ex only has her every other weekend ... it was due to her written material, her obvious discussion about the ongoing litigation and her obstruction of the OCL. Now I have both children. What goes around comes around

[mummer1962]

Good for you and next time she pulls some emotional crap like that, call Children's Aid.