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truetoyourself 05-21-2017 03:57 PM

Urgent assistance - New Child Tax Credit and sole custody
 
Hi there, I searched topics and couldn't find what I was looking for. So, here it goes. My ex has sent me an email responding to my request. He states that for him to agree to what I want, then he wants me to agree to the following and in writing:

1 - something in writing from me that states I will not be asking for ANY form of financial support. (CS or otherwise).

2 - child tax benefit cannot be given to one parent or the other fully and that it must be split. Having said that i expect it to be split going forward regardless of us living in separate provinces. (these are his words, not mine) I know this to not be true because I have had it in total since her birth, she's 8, I have Sole Custody).

3 - He wants her for 2 weeks of his choosing in the summer and every Christmas as he doesn't get any other paid time off. You would also be paying for her return travel as i obviously cannot afford it. (If he is paying for nothing ALL year long, how can he not afford to pay for two plane tickets a year????? AND want half the CTB???? For what reason?)

I don't believe that he is aware that because she is presently under age, she cannot fly on her own so he will have to pay for his own plane ticket to escort her.

My questions: IF I wrote that we could split the CTB, does CRA even take that into account? Oh and let me clarify, this is not in court, this is an affidavit that I will be writing and we will both be signing in front of my lawyer who will witness and commission the document just because I don't trust him. Nothing is being filed int he court. Back to the CTB, in the past, even if the court stated that the CCTB was to be split between both parents, they didn't adhere to it unless there was shared custody. As we don't and I have sole custody, even IF I were to sign that, CRA wouldn't adhere to it because we will be living more than half way across the country and he will see her 3 weeks a year.

Can I request that he must keep her on his medical benefits?

Side note: After I am common-law with my new spouse, my daughter will fall under his medical benefits. Can she be on more that two peoples benefits? (i.e mine, her father's and then my common-law-spouses?)

I have a final custody order with my sole custody on it among other things. If I create this affidavit that is not filed in court but commissioned by the lawyer only because I don't want him calling an Amber Alert on my ass at the airport, does it supersede the court order or is it in addition? Because otherwise, I will want to make sure that I state that I still have sole custody in the affidavit, correct?

Thank you for you time.

standing on the sidelines 05-21-2017 04:19 PM

first off who moved?

truetoyourself 05-21-2017 05:08 PM

I am, the mother with sole custody.

Berner_Faith 05-21-2017 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220950)
I am, the mother with sole custody.



You moved away from the father or he moved away from you?


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truetoyourself 05-21-2017 06:25 PM

I will be moving away from him.

Rioe 05-21-2017 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
1 - something in writing from me that states I will not be asking for ANY form of financial support. (CS or otherwise).

You can't waive CS. It is the right of the child.

However, since you are the one moving away, presumably this negotiation is about him giving you permission to take the child with you.

What CAN happen is that you offer to pay all travel expenses for the child to visit him, OR agree to reduce CS by the amount of the travel expenses but he pays them. The former (get CS but pay for the travel expenses yourself) is better because then you can look for deals, or take your own vacation when you bring the child to him. If you end up with the latter, you'll never get any CS because the travel expenses will magically eat it all up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
2 - child tax benefit cannot be given to one parent or the other fully and that it must be split. Having said that i expect it to be split going forward regardless of us living in separate provinces. (these are his words, not mine) I know this to not be true because I have had it in total since her birth, she's 8, I have Sole Custody).

CTB goes to whichever parent has majority access, and is only split in a 50-50 custody situation. You can say whatever you want in a legal document, but CRA will ignore that and do it their way, regardless. CRA is not going to give CTB money to a parent who hardly ever has the kid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
3 - He wants her for 2 weeks of his choosing in the summer and every Christmas as he doesn't get any other paid time off. You would also be paying for her return travel as i obviously cannot afford it. (If he is paying for nothing ALL year long, how can he not afford to pay for two plane tickets a year????? AND want half the CTB???? For what reason?)

Two weeks of his choosing in the summer is very reasonable, but I'd make sure to put a deadline for him to make his choice so you can plan your summer.

I'd say only half of Christmas Break, alternating which week is first between you each year. That way, you get some of the holiday with your child.

You might want to also offer him March Break as well, since there's nothing particularly special to celebrate that week.

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
Can I request that he must keep her on his medical benefits?

Certainly. She's still his dependent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
Side note: After I am common-law with my new spouse, my daughter will fall under his medical benefits. Can she be on more that two peoples benefits? (i.e mine, her father's and then my common-law-spouses?)

Yes, I think there could be up to four people claiming the child, the parents and their new partners. There are different rules for the order in which they claim, depending on the insurance provider.

Quote:

Originally Posted by truetoyourself (Post 220948)
I have a final custody order with my sole custody on it among other things. If I create this affidavit that is not filed in court but commissioned by the lawyer only because I don't want him calling an Amber Alert on my ass at the airport, does it supersede the court order or is it in addition? Because otherwise, I will want to make sure that I state that I still have sole custody in the affidavit, correct?

You want to make this into a new agreement, and file it with a court to make it supersede the previous order. In it, refer specifically to which paragraphs of the old order are being replaced.

Does your original court order have a mobility clause? Having the new order clearly indicate that you are able to move would help you from
Amber Alerts. If you think this behaviour is likely from your ex, however, definitely get the new agreement filed in court before you move.

truetoyourself 05-21-2017 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rioe (Post 220958)
You can't waive CS. It is the right of the child.[COLOR="Blue"] I knew that he could not give up the CS. IT is not his to give. That belongs to my daughter. He tried that 8 years ago when she was born as well. /COLOR]

However, since you are the one moving away, presumably this negotiation is about him giving you permission to take the child with you.This is completely about him giving me permission and wanting money out of it, nothing in the best interest of our daughter.



What CAN happen is that you offer to pay all travel expenses for the child to visit him, OR agree to reduce CS by the amount of the travel expenses but he pays them. The former (get CS but pay for the travel expenses yourself) is better because then you can look for deals, or take your own vacation when you bring the child to him. If you end up with the latter, you'll never get any CS because the travel expenses will magically eat it all up.



CTB goes to whichever parent has majority access, and is only split in a 50-50 custody situation. You can say whatever you want in a legal document, but CRA will ignore that and do it their way, regardless. CRA is not going to give CTB money to a parent who hardly ever has the kid. This is also what I thought. SO, for ease of getting the consent from him, I may just agree to it knowing full well that CRA will just give it to me anyway. I don't believe he should get half of it when he will see her 3 weeks a year.



Two weeks of his choosing in the summer is very reasonable, but I'd make sure to put a deadline for him to make his choice so you can plan your summer.

I'd say only half of Christmas Break, alternating which week is first between you each year. That way, you get some of the holiday with your child.

You might want to also offer him March Break as well, since there's nothing particularly special to celebrate that week. The distance may be a bit much for her to travel so often and on such short time frames.
We will be at least at minimum 6 hour flight from each other and the flights will be costly and she will need to be escorted until a few years from now.
She also cannot go for long periods of time because of medical concerns.
These are very important priorities. The time difference as well, will reek havoc on her and her schooling if not taken into consideration.




Certainly. She's still his dependent.





Yes, I think there could be up to four people claiming the child, the parents and their new partners. There are different rules for the order in which they claim, depending on the insurance provider.This is great news! Her meds are costly.



You want to make this into a new agreement, and file it with a court to make it supersede the previous order. In it, refer specifically to which paragraphs of the old order are being replaced.

Does your original court order have a mobility clause? Having the new order clearly indicate that you are able to move would help you from
Amber Alerts. If you think this behaviour is likely from your ex, however, definitely get the new agreement filed in court before you move.

I don't want to make this a new agreement. I am good with the first final court order from 2012. It has no mobility clause in it at all.
It states that I have sole custody, that I don't need his signature when applying for her passport, that he has to provide me with a written letter when I travel. That we are to arrange for access when he is in town. (he did not live in the same province previously)


Thank you for responding so quickly to my inquiries. I very much appreciate it. I am on the right track then. The CRA part was what I thought. I knew he could not give up paying CS because it was not his right to give up. Although he has never paid it in 8 yrs. Now my main concern is, if I do not reiterate the sole custody in this affidavit signed in front of a lawyer, will I lose it?

If I create the affidavit with agreeing to his requests of:

- paying for half of her plane ticket when visiting him;
- the no child support, I can agree to but it doesn't hold up in court IF we ever end up there at a later date;
- granting him half of the monthly CTB;
My request:
- that she remains on his medical benefits indefinitely;
- arranging visits to his location will have to come second to her twice a year hospital week long visits. They get scheduled first and then his visits.


When I had a chance to ask a lawyer about his consent for moving, she said that because I have sole custody and we have no arrangement, I could write my own affidavit and we both sign it with a witness. I asked her if we could sign it in her office and she commission it because I think that would hold up more in court if it ever went that way. She said, you can, I will do it but its the same. Once he signs a document stating that he is aware of my moving with her, that takes care of possible Amber Alerts.


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