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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2012, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Case Conferences are held on a 'without prejudice' basis.

This means that anything said, and materials handed in, are essentially off the record. More realistically, they cannot be used come trial.

Judges will typically only grant an Order on consent in conferences, aside from perhaps an order on a procedural issue. But Orders on the issues you are concerned about (most likely) require both parties to consent.

Judges can be pretty good at imposing their will, and brow-beating people into accepting and Order on consent. But it doesn't always happen.

So essentially, if your ex just simply refuses to agree to you getting any access you may very well leave dissappointed.

The good news is that once your first conference has occured, you can now file motions. If you don't get what you're looking for in access at the conference, you will want to discuss bringing a motion to court with your lawyer.
Thank you!

SO many steps for something that should be so simple. I kind of know how to play the game now but it's so frustrating. Really, is asking for structured access and joint custody like asking for the world?
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2012, 02:12 PM
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Is finding a lawyer a smart thing to do at this point? I know that I could have had a lawyer do all of the steps up to this point (form 8, 14a, 14b, form 8 amended, case conference brief, form 14a again) I saved myself a lot of money and probably did a better job stating the facts in honest wording.

Not sure if a lawyer is the right way to go if I don't get the desired results on Wednesday. I get a bit of a discount when it comes to lawyer fees through EAP but I really don't have too much money to spare. Especially if I can do it myself
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Old 08-05-2012, 02:22 PM
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Thats a tough question to answer.

In a perfect world, you should have a lawyer.

I have self-repped through my original application to Final Order, and my ex's subsequent Motion to Change the Final Order.

It can be done, but it requires hard work and perserverence. Combine that with the emotional roller-coaster that the whole thing is, and you'll find it to be draining.
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Old 08-05-2012, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Case Conferences are held on a 'without prejudice' basis.

This means that anything said, and materials handed in, are essentially off the record. More realistically, they cannot be used come trial.

Judges will typically only grant an Order on consent in conferences, aside from perhaps an order on a procedural issue. But Orders on the issues you are concerned about (most likely) require both parties to consent.

Judges can be pretty good at imposing their will, and brow-beating people into accepting and Order on consent. But it doesn't always happen.

So essentially, if your ex just simply refuses to agree to you getting any access you may very well leave dissappointed.

The good news is that once your first conference has occured, you can now file motions. If you don't get what you're looking for in access at the conference, you will want to discuss bringing a motion to court with your lawyer.
Thank you!

SO many steps for something that should be so simple. I kind of know how to play the game now but it's so frustrating. Really, is asking for structured access and joint custody like asking for the world?
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2012, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Thats a tough question to answer.

In a perfect world, you should have a lawyer.

I have self-repped through my original application to Final Order, and my ex's subsequent Motion to Change the Final Order.

It can be done, but it requires hard work and perserverence. Combine that with the emotional roller-coaster that the whole thing is, and you'll find it to be draining.
I hear you. Tack in biking 16 clicks each way to work and working the afternoon shift until 12 a.m. I know how draining it is but the motivation to get what I deserve keeps me going. I'm not always I happy camper but I just focus on the better days ahead in which I deserve.
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:21 PM
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you can totally self rep, may be even do a better job than a lawyer, you just have a lot of reading to do, plus keep your emotions in check when standing there, be objective and you will have your voice heard.
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sahibjee View Post
you can totally self rep, may be even do a better job than a lawyer, you just have a lot of reading to do, plus keep your emotions in check when standing there, be objective and you will have your voice heard.
Thank you Sahibjee!
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:29 PM
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Tayken...can you walk me through what will and should happen on Wednesday?
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Old 08-05-2012, 05:28 PM
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Tayken...can you walk me through what will and should happen on Wednesday?
Not a problem. I will review your original post and give some insight from the technical perspective of how conferences go.
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Old 08-05-2012, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
I am self representing and the applicant to this case. I am asking for Joint Custody as well as structured access/visitation and that child support be settled (what I will be paying monthly)
The best terminology to use that demonstrates that you are thinking properly would be that you are seeking “full joint custody and joint residency, that the appropriate child support payment be determined and equal access to the children on a 2-2-5-5 or 2-2-3 based access schedule.”

Remember, that joint custody and joint residency (access) are two different components of law. Custody is determining things and residency (access) is the time the children spend with both parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
A couple of days ago a received the respondents case conference brief and learned that she had found a lawyer. The CCB was full of a lot of written spite and a lot of untruths.
The judge at a Conference can not deal with substantive issues so be very aware of this. If the other parent is hurling allegations of abuse, etc... The matter needs to proceed to a motion for determination of custody and access temporary to final trial. Custody and access cannot be forced upon either litigant at a case conference.

Some advice: Listen to the judge. They are there to provide a view of what “could” happen and “should happen” but, they won't have full perspective of everything. They may not have even read the Briefs. Focus on that which can be resolved and consented to... And for those matters that can't be request that matters progress so there can be resolutions to the problems. Don't stand there and attack the other parent.

The best thing you can do some times is to stand there and take all the hurling of allegations and just focus on the best interests of the children. The judge will want to hear about what plan you propose for the children, their care, residency etc... Be well prepared and understand what could be done to resolve the problems facing you and the other parent. Ask the judge for advice... That is the purpose of a Conference. It is an opportunity to mediate prior to a motion/trial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
I went to see free legal advice and they told me that I could complete a 14a affidavit in response to what the other party wrote. I completed my write up stating the truth to each of their numbered paragraphs and kept it short and simple.
That is the best way to do it. Judges appreciate people who can focus on the relevant matters and identify those which are not. You may have not answered all the things a judge needs to know and if asked at the conference give the truthful answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
I also attached 3 "exhibits" in ...

This is what the respondent propposed:

a. Twice weekly for two hours in a supervised access centre
b. Upon four consecutive weeks of successful supervised access visits the access visits shall occur twice weekly for two hours unsupervised
c. Such further and alternate access as agreed upon between both parties

Note that our daughter is only almost 8 months old and I have been completely shut out of her life for over 2 months. I have had less than 10 visits with her totaling apprx. 20 hours.
For an 8 month old you could propose a 2-2-3 based access schedule and the courts have ordered them for children this age. Two days with mom, two days with dad, weekend with mom, two days with dad, two days with mom, weekend with dad... rinse repeat and recycle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
I understand that the judge will want me to graduate into a unsupervised roll and I am willing to do the supervised access (I have nothing to hide) and graduate into small amounts of time unsupervised...but I eventually want my overnights on weekends.
Why? Is there some abuse and or neglect in your past history of conduct with the child? Both genders are equally capable of caring for your daughter? Why should your access have to be supervised if you are not a threat of danger to a child?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightythree View Post
I was looking for advice of what I should stay stern with and what not to just settle with if we attempt mediation. I'm assuming the judge will try to urge us to mediation and as the respondent has a lawyer and I'm just a newb rookie I may get walked all over on this.
A Conference is mediation and always remember that. If your access is supervised who enforced this upon you? The court? The other parent? This shouldn't happen unless a court or another authority has put it in place. You have equal access and custody of the child if there is no court order in place.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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