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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-03-2013, 02:11 PM
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So, i'm not sure if what I am experiencing with my lawyer is normal or not....looking for some guidance.

The process started in January 2013 by the ex.....to date we have had a case conference (April) which resulted in a temp order and since then, nothing (there were a few situations during the summer that had to be taken care of ASAP) After an ugly dispute at the end of August my lawyer said we needed to get in front of a judge ASAP, she suggested an interim offer to settle until the case conference date, I approved and off the offer went to opposing council (Sept 11).

Sept 23, I still havent heard anything, emailed my lawyer and didnt get a responce.

Sept 25, I called and was told she thinks that she hasnt heard anything because there is no CC date set yet and or the ex is avoiding her lawyer (very likley) she said I could service her with the offer myself, in the meantime she said she was going to call to get a date.

Sept 26, served ex with offer....she threw it on the ground!!! There is my answer, I guess!! lol

Sept 27, let lawyer know and she said she was sorry to hear that (via email) asked about a CC date and she said she would call.

October 2, had my gf call our lawyer, got VM and left a message.

I feel as though there is no sense of urgency from my lawyer. I have spent over $6000 and have nothing (there have been offers and motions drafterd etc... just for the ex to refuse everything). Why is it taking so long. Everytime I speak to my lawyer it seems like she is rushing me, everytime I go and see her I get the feeling she doesnt want to hear my details. I feel like asking her who's side she is on. The longer she leaves this the better it is for my ex...not me.

I am not happy at all, I feel like I have no faith in this lawyer, I dont know how to tell her all this nicely and to be honest I am afraid that if I come out and say what I feel she will say she doesnt want to work with us, which may be a blessing but at this point I cannot afford another retainer. Would I be better off self repping than to have someone like this OR is this normal??
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Old 10-03-2013, 02:53 PM
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You would be better off sharing this with your lawyer, setting your expectations and directing your lawyer. Otherwise, how is she to know?
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Old 10-03-2013, 03:08 PM
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It is important to be honest with your lawyer. More importantly, it is important that you feel comfortable with your lawyer. Open dialogue is important so that both of you know what is going on and are on the same page.
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Old 10-03-2013, 03:48 PM
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And be prepared that if your lawyer feels she can't meet your expectations she may want to end the representative / client relationship. The process is slow but if you're not getting the communication warranted from your lawyer, tell them, and tell them your expectations, you are a paying customer. My lawyer bailed on me when I spelt out what my expectations were and that I needed her to do the job she was being paid to do. Some of them mail it in and take their time as they have too many cases on the go and are finding whatever way to generate the most income from you before they tell you it would be best to settle just before trial.
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Old 10-03-2013, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer13 View Post

I feel as though there is no sense of urgency from my lawyer. I have spent over $6000 and have nothing (there have been offers and motions drafterd etc... just for the ex to refuse everything). Why is it taking so long.
You're absolutely right, there is no sense of urgency, lawyers will drag this on forever if you let them!

Everytime I speak to my lawyer it seems like she is rushing me, everytime I go and see her I get the feeling she doesnt want to hear my details. I feel like asking her who's side she is on. The longer she leaves this the better it is for my ex...not me.
This is typical of most lawyers and your right again, they don't want to hear about the details of your situation.


I am not happy at all, I feel like I have no faith in this lawyer, I dont know how to tell her all this nicely and to be honest I am afraid that if I come out and say what I feel she will say she doesnt want to work with us, which may be a blessing but at this point I cannot afford another retainer. Would I be better off self repping than to have someone like this OR is this normal??
No, you are not paranoid, all of your fears are well founded, the only consolation is that your ex's lawyer is probably no better. Self repping is a possibility if you can handle it ... I know that I couldn't.


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Old 10-03-2013, 05:53 PM
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My lawyer often did not reply to my emails because they were emotional and didn't really want to bill me for therapy.

I also sent my ex 7 offers to settle and never received one letter back.

My best advice is don't waste money on letter especially when you get no response.

Provide offers to settle.

Get in front of a judge.

I provided 3 of the offers to settle in Nov/12. I again provide another 3 in March /13 for our May/13 motion. Nothing was responded too. We served her our motion paperwork at the end of March. 4 days before the motion date and having received nothing from my ex she decided she wanted to talk it out. My lawyer said fine but we are ready for court and will be proceeding if an agreement wasn't signed. In the end we settled before the motion with basically everything in my November offers to settle.

So direct your lawyer not to play games with letters. Provide offers to settle. Schedule whatever court date you need and wait. They will either settle or go to the motion.. There is not much else you can do with someone not willing to negotiate.
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Old 10-04-2013, 10:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer13 View Post
So, i'm not sure if what I am experiencing with my lawyer is normal or not....looking for some guidance.

The process started in January 2013 by the ex.....to date we have had a case conference (April) which resulted in a temp order and since then, nothing (there were a few situations during the summer that had to be taken care of ASAP) After an ugly dispute at the end of August my lawyer said we needed to get in front of a judge ASAP, she suggested an interim offer to settle until the case conference date, I approved and off the offer went to opposing council (Sept 11).

Sept 23, I still havent heard anything, emailed my lawyer and didnt get a responce.

Sept 25, I called and was told she thinks that she hasnt heard anything because there is no CC date set yet and or the ex is avoiding her lawyer (very likley) she said I could service her with the offer myself, in the meantime she said she was going to call to get a date.

Sept 26, served ex with offer....she threw it on the ground!!! There is my answer, I guess!! lol

Sept 27, let lawyer know and she said she was sorry to hear that (via email) asked about a CC date and she said she would call.

October 2, had my gf call our lawyer, got VM and left a message.

I feel as though there is no sense of urgency from my lawyer. I have spent over $6000 and have nothing (there have been offers and motions drafterd etc... just for the ex to refuse everything). Why is it taking so long. Everytime I speak to my lawyer it seems like she is rushing me, everytime I go and see her I get the feeling she doesnt want to hear my details. I feel like asking her who's side she is on. The longer she leaves this the better it is for my ex...not me.

I am not happy at all, I feel like I have no faith in this lawyer, I dont know how to tell her all this nicely and to be honest I am afraid that if I come out and say what I feel she will say she doesnt want to work with us, which may be a blessing but at this point I cannot afford another retainer. Would I be better off self repping than to have someone like this OR is this normal??

Your situation sounds like mine. I fired my idiot lawyer. Who by the way I had assessed and reported to the LSUC. I got back 8.000 in fees. 6,000.00 is nothing compared to what some people have been taken for.

Trust your gut. Fire your lawyer and take the bull by the horns and self rep. Keep a lawyer in the back ground if you need to consult one. This forum is also excellent for self rep'ers.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:54 AM
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How do you find a lawyer that will "consult" with you if you are self-repping? I empathize and sympathize with lawyer issues. I think they are the only profession (family lawyers that is) who can charge for:

making appointment changes---

double billing: in court/questioning with you for the day and then take another client call and bill both of us

pay for faxing and the charges for photocopying are ridiculous

make you feel guilty about challenging their charges ---


charge me for telling them I have bought a home for myself--a single line email-charge if you find a spelling or spacing error and they correct it (I thought they would want a "professional" look to their stuff---guess not-times have changed)

I am thinking more and more of self repping considering the waste of money --I don't feel i am moving forward.

all i know is that the law clerk is always finding ways to bump up my bill. i think she is on commission.
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer13 View Post
I feel as though there is no sense of urgency from my lawyer.
Ever consider, for a moment that there is no urgency and that you may just be over-anxious.

The time lines you have provided are quite normal in fact... Your lawyer may be doing you a favour by not responding and going forward with nonsense you are requesting them to do. This saves you considerable legal fees if your lawyer ignores your nonsense.

Would you want a lawyer who will happily charge you $260-$600 an hour to listen to your possibly irrelevant "evidence" and "emotional reasoning"?

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Ever consider, for a moment that there is no urgency and that you may just be over-anxious.

The time lines you have provided are quite normal in fact... Your lawyer may be doing you a favour by not responding and going forward with nonsense you are requesting them to do. This saves you considerable legal fees if your lawyer ignores your nonsense.

Would you want a lawyer who will happily charge you $260-$600 an hour to listen to your possibly irrelevant "evidence" and "emotional reasoning"?

Good Luck!
Tayken
Agree this may be a sign of a good lawyer.

Once I stopped using him as a therapist I calmed down and focused on what needed to be done. Which at the time was nothing, it was just a waiting game for my motion. I had provided my offers to settle. I was not willing to negotiate anything but 50/50. So I waited.
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