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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:35 PM
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Sorry, you lost me with 5 kids ... gym membership ... undue hardship.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Yeah I'm a real money grabber.

Honey from the sounds of it you couldn't get a nickel or a dime out of your ex even if you tried.

You really know how to pick em don't you?

Breeder.

Do you even have a job???

And "honey" even if I was going to leave my husband, I wouldn't suck him dry, like i'm sure you did. I'm not with him for the money. It is people like you that make me want to "breed" more, hopefully squeeze the stupid out of this world. Where is that trailer you crawled out of? Go back!
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:40 PM
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Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Sorry, you lost me with 5 kids ... gym membership ... undue hardship.

I'm not sure if you are trying to be rude, and I hope not, because there have been some really $hitty people on here so far. All I was looking for was advice, not their own personal drama. The arabian thing is a real number.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:42 PM
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Sorry, you lost me with 5 kids ... gym membership ... undue hardship.
And to add to that list the hurling of insults...
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
And to add to that list the hurling of insults...

I wish people would take questions and just think about it for a second. Think before they speak, or pretend the person is in front of you.

I am a good person, I was just looking for some advice, not to be treated like crap.
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:47 PM
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The fact is, all 5 kids are now in the picture, at the time the 2 new ones were born, they had a stable home environment, but something happened that changed that (which sometimes happens even with intact families), let's just focus one helping, rather than insulting the childrens mother...
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:52 PM
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I can empathize that you feel frustrated because it is very difficult to make ends meet when you have a family of 5 kids and are on a limited budget.

But the posters here are trying to ask you some "hard" questions that ultimately will be asked when and if you decide to proceed on this claim of undue hardship. They would not be doing you any favors if they only told you what you wanted to hear. Try and not take it personally, they don't know you or your situation as well as you do. They are only responding to the information you are presenting and the way in which you are presenting it. Use their responses to better frame your own argument.

Last edited by Nadia; 09-27-2012 at 11:00 PM.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
The fact is, all 5 kids are now in the picture, at the time the 2 new ones were born, they had a stable home environment, but something happened that changed that (which sometimes happens even with intact families), let's just focus one helping, rather than insulting the childrens mother...

Thank you.

My husband and I both have excellent jobs, and we are an intact family. We have always worked. We just had some unfortunate financial changes that happened after the custody/cs was decided. Some we knew were going to happen, advised our lawyer and she told us we could do nothing until we were actually impacted. We unfortunately had bad council and no options.

We are not some low life scum that crawled out from under a rock. We have a responsibility to all of our children. This isn't something we are happy about, but it is what it is and we have to think about ALL of our children. Why should one child be eating steak and the rest eat Kraft dinner?
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
1. Of course we didn't have the $11,000, but the bank did, and they like the interest it is collecting.
11,000 legal bill for a lot of people is quite low. So don't expect too many people to be "boo hoo" about your legal costs. There is a member of this forum who is self represented who has gotten a cost award against another party for much more. So imagine if his time valued at $100 and hour was put into lawyer costs of 265-500 an hour.

Quote:
74. Accordingly the Applicant shall pay to the Respondent costs of this trial fixed in the sum of $11,500.00 inclusive of fees, disbursements and HST.
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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
2. The cs was part of it, but at the time we did not qualify for undue hardship, our circumstances drastically changed. It was custody for his son.
How many days/weeks/months/years ago was that? You went to court and didn't get costs awarded against the other party. 11,000 lesson learned?

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
FYI: This is not a qualification guide. As stated by the guide:

Quote:
This publication is not a legal document. It contains general information and is provided for convenience and guidance in applying the Federal Child Support Guidelines.

© Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Canada (2012)
(Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada)
So I would really not use it as a "test" to prove anything.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Basically, we qualify, but will it even matter is more what I am curious about.
Based on your personal belief. The question is if you can provide the cogent and relevant evidence to the fact in support of your belief that convinces a judge that there is a material change in circumstance and that undue hardship should be considered.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
4. Our idiot lawyer told us we had to do it this way. We have since let her go.
Obviously the client/lawyer relationship suffers similar issues to the poster/responder relationship demonstrated on this site.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
5. We don't need a financial consultant, our only debt is the legal fees.
And you are under "undue hardship". I wouldn't put that statement into your affidavit when filing unless you want to have a judge toss it across the court room and order costs against you for even dragging the other parent back into court.

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Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Our issues are, we have lost about $2,000 in our monthly income since this all happened. We have tried, you can't get blood from a stone. His ex did not legally qualify, she lied and said her bf did not live with her, but he did. She committed fraud with legal aid/social assistance/EI and issuance.
So, you lost 2,000 so one could only assume that you have a monthly income HIGHER than 2,000 a month. Sorry to say there are parents on this forum who would probably like to have the income monthly to loose 2000 and make ends meet incredibly well with less. So don't expect too much sympathy here in my opinion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
6. I'm not sure why you asked what my and my husband's income is?? You would actually need our income and their income, with our undue hardship details to even begin to be able to comment on this. We do have proof that her bf is living there at this time though.
Household incomes. Clearly you don't understand what you are reading. The court will need FULL AND FRANK financial disclosure from all parties of both households. So your income + his income would be what is considered. Including whatever child support you get for the other 3 kids?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
7. We did have a lawyer, who unfortunately did more work for his ex. We tried to hire a new lawyer, I literally called every lawyer in that small town. There was a big court blitz going on, and nobody was taking on new cases until the blitz was over. It was absolutely crazy. Our lawyer was a wonderful person to talk to, but having to pay her for her so called "work" was horrible. This entire system is shameful. I see why bad things happen to children after this experience. And there is nothing we can do to help his son now.
Don't go to court looking for justice... Especially in family law matters. It is all about the best interests of the child. Clearly it was ordered at trial that the best interests of the child were best served by the other parent. Claiming undue hardship after the fact isn't going to win you any favour with the court or make re-opening the custody issues possible.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-27-2012, 10:55 PM
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I'm honestly gobsmacked here.

I, for one, am not about to waste my time giving advice to people who are so adept at abusing the system. There are many, many people out there who genuinely need legal advice. I am stunned that you actually have access to a lawyer.

I will continue to go in in life and give money to charity knowing that it helps the children of people like you. Very, very sad. You are living in a "welfare mentality" and raising children to go through life expecting everyone else to look after them. Take some basic parenting courses. Learn how to budget your expenses. Try not to sleep around indiscriminately. You should be able to support every child you bring into the world yourself. Relying on a bunch a losers for the rest of your life is simply stupid.

If you want to go on a forum which is called "Ottawa Divorce Forum" you had better toughen up. If you want sympathy get a dog or access some of that wonderful free counselling.

You get absolutely no sympathy from me.
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