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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-27-2012, 02:36 PM
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Default Undue hardship

Hi,

My husband and I are in a position that we need to apply for undue hardship. I am hearing that this usually is never approved. My husband and I pass the first part of the test, for multiple reasons, access expense, other children to support, etc. We had a lawyer run the numbers already, and since then things have become even harder financially. It has nothing to do with not wanting to pay cs, it has to do with we just can't make ends meet anymore.

We are hoping to represent ourselves because we cannot afford a lawyer. We just went through a custody battle ($11,000 later). Is there any advice out there? We know it isn't a good idea to not use a lawyer, but on top of everything else, we have lost faith in the "help" we received and the system.

The other issue is his ex lies and says her bf does not live with her, but he is on the answering machine, his son has told us that he lives there, she tells everybody else he lives with her. How do you go about proving this? Send the bf a registered letter to their apartment? She denies him living there for tax reasons/welfare, etc. We still qualify for undue hardship without including her bf's income, but have been told it would be better to have his income included and that legally she has to.

Thanks for any help.
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:22 PM
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Ok let me figure this out...your husband had more kids with you, but doesnt feel up to paying for his other kid by another baby mommy?
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:25 PM
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Her boyfriend is in no way responsible for taking care of your husbands kid-you do realise this?
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Hi,

My husband and I are in a position that we need to apply for undue hardship. I am hearing that this usually is never approved. My husband and I pass the first part of the test, for multiple reasons, access expense, other children to support, etc. We had a lawyer run the numbers already, and since then things have become even harder financially. It has nothing to do with not wanting to pay cs, it has to do with we just can't make ends meet anymore.

We are hoping to represent ourselves because we cannot afford a lawyer. We just went through a custody battle ($11,000 later). Is there any advice out there? We know it isn't a good idea to not use a lawyer, but on top of everything else, we have lost faith in the "help" we received and the system.

The other issue is his ex lies and says her bf does not live with her, but he is on the answering machine, his son has told us that he lives there, she tells everybody else he lives with her. How do you go about proving this? Send the bf a registered letter to their apartment? She denies him living there for tax reasons/welfare, etc. We still qualify for undue hardship without including her bf's income, but have been told it would be better to have his income included and that legally she has to.

Thanks for any help.
1. You were able to pay $11,000 for a custody and access dispute. Costs were clearly not awarded in your favour regarding the action as you would not be here complaining about "costs".

2. If you just got out of a custody and access issue why is child support not part of the order? Was the custody battle over your husband's children or your children?

3. The only person who can determine if undue hardship is an issue is a judge. Not sure what "test" you passed. You would have to file a motion on a change in circumstance.

4. With having gone to court recently to bring forward an undue hardship claim would be incredibly hard to justify as a "change in circumstance".

5. You would be better off dealing with the financial challenges by retaining a financial consultant rather than trying to file undue hardship against the other parent. What you are describing sounds like the other parent is on social assistance? If so, they qualify for Legal Aid and if you bring forward a material change in circumstance they can get a lawyer to defend against the action you take.

6. What is the combined income of you and your husband? You file undue hardship and both of your salaries will be considered as part of the "household income" as well as the other house hold. You already have an uphill battle proving the other parent has another partner supporting them.

7. The outcome of the last appearance that cost you 11,000 doesn't sound like it went well and you had a lawyer. Why would you think your undue hardship claim would be even easier to file?

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 09-27-2012, 08:40 PM
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Quit using kids as a way to make money. Period. You've got to be kidding. There are many parents who would love to adopt kids who can afford them.

Having kids isn't revenue. You have to get a job.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murphyslaw View Post
Her boyfriend is in no way responsible for taking care of your husbands kid-you do realise this?

Hi, Yes, of course he is responsible for supporting his son BUT the story is complicated. Up until December 2011 my husband had shared custody and more than paid what he should have been paying, in consideration of the shared living arrangement. We are talking about a guy that had his son over 50% of the time and paid for all extras, no help from the mother, on top of his child support.

Since then, we were posted, his son wanted to come, we lost. In the end, he now pays more child support, 100% of his son's gym membership, about $1,500 in travel expenses.

We have five children combined, I have two from my first marriage. And we have two between us. What we pay in cs for his son, we absolutely could not afford to spend on each child, we would literally go in the hole.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:22 PM
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Oh Arabian having kids is a cash cow to some people!There is plenty of losers out there fighting for custody ONLY for the money-kids have NOTHING to do with it.
Overheard a conversation a young lady was having with a friend where she was talking about how her lawyer finished off baby daddy number one in court.Now she's getting her CS and has sole custody and how she's working another custody battle for baby number two' with baby daddy number two for full custody and CS.
According to her, its a walk in the park as he hit her and her lawyer will destroy him like the first....BUT all is good because ...she wants more kids! By herself with dads being just sperm donors.Oh for the record, not once did she ever mention baby daddys ever hitting their children or mistreating the kids in any way.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Hi, Yes, of course he is responsible for supporting his son BUT the story is complicated. Up until December 2011 my husband had shared custody and more than paid what he should have been paying, in consideration of the shared living arrangement. We are talking about a guy that had his son over 50% of the time and paid for all extras, no help from the mother, on top of his child support.

Since then, we were posted, his son wanted to come, we lost. In the end, he now pays more child support, 100% of his son's gym membership, about $1,500 in travel expenses.

We have five children combined, I have two from my first marriage. And we have two between us. What we pay in cs for his son, we absolutely could not afford to spend on each child, we would literally go in the hole.
Why exactly did you have more kids?You knew how much support the father paid!You deliberately had two more expenses added to the equation -how do you expect a rational person to view this?Many people don't have kids at all because they cant afford it-you instead don't care about the economics but just keep popping them out!
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
Since then, we were posted, his son wanted to come, we lost. In the end, he now pays more child support, 100% of his son's gym membership, about $1,500 in travel expenses.
I think the gym membership might be considered an S7 expense, so I don't think you should be paying the 100%.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
We have five children combined, I have two from my first marriage. And we have two between us. What we pay in cs for his son, we absolutely could not afford to spend on each child, we would literally go in the hole.
Maybe I misunderstood your other post on CS, but you receive more in CS payments for your two kids than you pay for your husband's one kid, so that would likely hurt rather than support the undue hardship angle.
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Quit using kids as a way to make money. Period. You've got to be kidding. There are many parents who would love to adopt kids who can afford them.

Having kids isn't revenue. You have to get a job.

arabian, I might be wrong, but i'm pretty sure you are the money grabber? Just the impression I get from reading your opinions.

And for the record, I have an ex husband and I don't nickel and dime him. I make my own money and am more than willing to accept responsibility for my children.

Not sure what the h e double hockey sticks you are talking about?? We don't make money, we are the ones paying it!! Maybe medication would help you.

I don't know about you, but I work full time, and so does my husband. His ex is 35 years old and has not held a job down for more than a year and two months. So please make sure you read a post properly before you try and insult somebody.
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