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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-21-2014, 10:10 AM
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I am new in her. my situation his following:
my common in law of more than two year went to visit her family out of province , she said for few weeks. first day upon her arrival she found someone and since then she going out with that guy. she took our boy they stay in her mother house. she send me a hundreds text messages saying that she is happy our son is happy he even called that guy a daddy, needless to say I am devastated. I know it is hard to believe nothing but nothing I did to her to be like that. I told her she can do whatever she wants I want my son. she said I will visit for holydays and you can visit sometime. they are a thousands miles away. here we lived with my parents they were more than good to her she even said that many times. I am in the school we care for our son together with big help from my parents . she likes to drink her mother too. i talk to my son on Skype he is too small to understand anything but you can see he is confused. he's not talking yet just a little. sorry this is long I just want to ask how to get my son back ?
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Old 09-21-2014, 10:49 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

Something does not add up here, maybe you need to add to the story.

You need to tell her that she cannot take the child away from you like this.

She needs to return home with the child.

Don't quote me on this , but I think that because it's into another province that what the ex is doing unlawful.




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Old 09-21-2014, 11:03 AM
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This is the sort of thing you must address IMMEDIATELY. When did it happen? If you don't get a lawyer and get in front of a judge for an emergency motion to have your child returned, the system thinks your inaction means you acquiesce to the situation.
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Old 09-21-2014, 11:16 AM
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You need a lawyer and an emergency motion to have your son returned immediately.
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Old 09-21-2014, 12:14 PM
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thanx for answering fast. it happened two weeks ago I did talk to some people from court and few lawyers they don't think it is emergency tomorrow I will go to one lawyer for advice I hope he/she will do something. and I am not saying that what she does there is against the law. but she is involving my son in it going out with him plying with him and calling him daddy. that's not normal. first few days she messge my mom telling her that she wants me to call and tell her I love her ,when I called she blocked me.on the phone,changed number,she blocked my family from facebook(unfortunetelly she is all open on FB, posting pictures of our son with that guy) I don't have FB account,it is a long story I could wright about it a book. am I crazy or she showing that she doesn't know what shes doing. all I want is my son she can do what she wants but she is hurting my son , when I talk to him he says dady showing me his toys looking and turning his head looking at me under his eyes tjats killing me . I am afraid he thinks I abandoned him. my family is also heart broken they loved him he was with has growing with us. her family came for visit few times staying few weeks, she went there before too. I don't know what to say anymore. and I repeat I didn't do anything we part at the airport like always kiss and everything.if you want to ask anything just ask I'll answer thank you
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Old 09-21-2014, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by young father View Post
thanx for answering fast. it happened two weeks ago I did talk to some people from court and few lawyers they don't think it is emergency tomorrow I will go to one lawyer for advice I hope he/she will do something.
You are in for a bit of an eye opening about the legal system. You don't "hope" lawyers will do something. You hire them to do what you want them to do. Lawyers will offer you advice on what they think you should do, but you don't have to listen. Find a lawyer who does believe this is an emergency. A lot of lawyers are women, or older, and think that all is well as long as a child is with its mother.

Look on https://www.canlii.org/en/ and search for cases like yours that were successful at getting the child back from an abducting mother. Present them to the lawyers you interview. If one of those cases were from your area, contact that lawyer and try to work with them. If you're not good with Canlii, there are threads here about parental abduction to look at as well. http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...nswers-9241/is one with many answers to questions you probably have.
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Old 09-21-2014, 12:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
You are in for a bit of an eye opening about the legal system. You don't "hope" lawyers will do something. You hire them to do what you want them to do. Lawyers will offer you advice on what they think you should do, but you don't have to listen. Find a lawyer who does believe this is an emergency. A lot of lawyers are women, or older, and think that all is well as long as a child is with its mother.

Look on https://www.canlii.org/en/ and search for cases like yours that were successful at getting the child back from an abducting mother. Present them to the lawyers you interview. If one of those cases were from your area, contact that lawyer and try to work with them. If you're not good with Canlii, there are threads here about parental abduction to look at as well. http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...nswers-9241/is one with many answers to questions you probably have.
This is great advice. And this is an Emergency. The longer this goes on for the harder it will be for you to see your child.
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Old 09-21-2014, 12:49 PM
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Why aren't you in court? Wake up tomorrow morning and start a case pronto in your jurisdiction. Before you do that make sure you have in writing that she's denying access and calling the shots.

I second the opinions of getting in to an emergency motion fast. Lawyers told me it wasn't an emergency as well. I still went self-represented and at least got interim access. Very little but better than nothing.

When did it happen? Dont let status quo set in.

When you communicate make it polite requests to return your child, see your child, get health and welfare information about your child, etc. Be sure to make it very clear, repeatedly that you're not consenting of her unilateral decision to remove your son out of province.

Collect these denials of access. You will need them to attach as exhibits in the future.

Buckle your seatbelt my friend. I believe you may be in for quite a ride. Be patient, collect your information. Build your case.

Any police involvement in your relationship (abuse)? Substance abuse? (This is a place to be honest to get honest advice to get your kid back).

How involved were you in the child's life? Did you work a lot? She will go for Primary Caregiver to get sole Im guessing.

Do you know her current address? Did you file a missing person's report?

Throwing this term around "parental abduction" is generally not accepted on this forum. Since she's narrating that you can visit on holidays and you Skype you cant really play that hand. The second my daughter was missing I filed a report (Its an exhibit in my affidavit now). Anyways .. heres a blurb. https://missingkids.ca/app/en/parental_child_abduction

Be strong. Stay patient. Get a lawyer. In the meantime build your case. Get to an Emergency Motion. At my motion they determined it wasn't an emergency (somehow) but it forced my ex to give me access.

Your ex left the province. Judge wont like that.

You said she was leaving for a few weeks. Did she leave often with a young child for that long? Seems like a lengthy absence to not see your 2 year old. I'm trying to connect the dots here.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 09-21-2014 at 12:55 PM.
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Old 09-21-2014, 01:14 PM
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As everyone said, get your ass in court and read canlii.org to prepare yourself on what to do.

The usual rule is that the child should be returned to the province where she has lived most of her life. The rule has a strong basis in common sense, family dynamics and fairness. It is the jurisdiction where the child has lived the longest that has the best capacity to determine what is in the child’s best interests.

Here's a few examples.
Interim orders until full trial.
Judge decided better for child to stay with mom before trial.....not a good sign as it becomes status quo.
Reid v. Reid, 1996 CanLII 2610

Judge decides to return child to father until trial.
P. D. v. M. L.


Full Trial...
Mom is allowed to move kids away from father permanently. Father is kinda like a bum but read point [28] as it relates to the test a judge uses to determine change in custody. Basically, you have to provide better than her as this is now a battle of who has primary.
Anderson v Anderson


8 In making, varying or rescinding an order for custody of a child, the court shall:

(a) have regard only for the best interests of the child and for that purpose shall take into account:

(i) the quality of the relationship that the child has with the person who is seeking custody and any other person who may have a close connection with the child;

(ii) the personality, character and emotional needs of the child;

(iii) the physical, psychological, social and economic needs of the child;

(iv) the capacity of the person who is seeking custody to act as legal custodian of the child;

(v) the home environment proposed to be provided for the child;

(vi) the plans that the person who is seeking custody has for the future of the child; and

(vii) the wishes of the child, to the extent the court considers appropriate, having regard to the age and maturity of the child;

(b) not take into consideration the past conduct of any person unless the conduct is relevant to the ability of that person to act as a parent of a child; and

(c) make no presumption and draw no inference as between parents that one parent should be preferred over the other on the basis of the person’s status as a father or mother.

9(1) In making, varying or rescinding an order for access to a child, the court shall:

(a) have regard only for the best interests of the child an d for that purpose shall take into account:

(i) the quality of the relationship that the child has with the person who is seeking access;

(ii) the personality, character and emotional needs of the child;

(iii) the capacity of the person who is seeking access to care for the child during the times that the child is in his or her care; and

(iv) the wishes of the child, to the extent the court considers appropriate, having regard to the age and maturity of the child; and

(b) not take into consideration the past conduct of any pers on unless the conduct is relevant to the ability of that person to care for the child during the times that the child is in his or her care.

(2) Unless otherwise ordered by the court, a parent who is granted access to a child has the same right as the custodial parent to make inquiries and be given information concerning the health, education and welfare of the child.

(3) The right of a parent who is granted access described in subsection (2) is not, unless the court orders otherwise, a right to be consulted about or to participate in the making of decisions by the custodial parent

-------------------

Didn't have time to search the other scenario where child was returned but to be frank, it's a crapshoot, depends on the judge. The only thing you can do is increase your chances that judge will side with you.

Good luck buddy!
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Old 09-21-2014, 01:15 PM
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LovingFather32

So what happened in the end for you? Did you get your child back?

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Why aren't you in court? Wake up tomorrow morning and start a case pronto in your jurisdiction. Before you do that make sure you have in writing that she's denying access and calling the shots.
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