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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 03-14-2014, 12:55 PM
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Default "Truism Exposed?": Justice Quinn says your complaints are as common as teeth!

Hi All,

I think a vast majority of the responses provided by senior posters on this forum regarding new posters "complaints" about the other parent/ex-partner are summed up best by the Honourable Mr. Justice Quinn in para. 2:

Quote:
[2] Each of the parties has brought a motion asking that changes be made to court-ordered provisions concerning their children. The motions are of the type seen every day in our courts. They were heard as a trial with oral evidence. The complaints of the parties are as common as teeth. The end result of each motion would be self-evident to any rational, objective observer..
Stirling v. Blake, 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)
Date: 2013-08-12
Docket: 1068/00
URL: CanLII - 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)
Citation: Stirling v. Blake, 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)

I won't spoil this one by quoting it to death and remind everyone to READ THE FOOTNOTES that Justice Quinn writes:

CanLII - 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)

Well... except for this gem of a footnote!

Quote:
If her current relationship fails, Ms. Stirling should seek counselling with a view to determining why she has no talent for picking a mate. Alternatively, she should not live with or marry another man without the written permission of her six closest friends, who, no doubt, will see what she, so far, has failed to see.
Ok... There is this very wise footnote too:

Quote:
It has been my non-clinical observation that many litigants who reach the trial stage in Family Court suffer from some form of personality disorder. Perhaps Family Court should be placed under the Ministry of Health. Too many litigants hijack Family Court, squandering valuable and diminishing resources in the process. Anyone can walk into a court house and frivolously start or defend a proceeding that, like a runaway train, is difficult to halt in a timely manner and not before damage is done.

...

Personality disorders are “a group of disorders in which fixed patterns of thought and behaviour cause persistent life problems.” People with such disorders “have ingrained patterns of thought and behaviour that prevent them from fitting in with society . . . Although many people have strong personalities, this is not the same as a personality disorder. People with personality disorders are inflexible and unable to adapt”: Younger-Lewis, Catherine (ed.). Canadian Medical Association Complete Home Medical Guide, 2d ed. Toronto: Dorling Kindersley Limited, 2005.
Cheers Justice Quinn! Thank-you for being a Family Law Justice!

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 03-14-2014, 04:31 PM
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Thank you for this. Now it confirms why I am headed to court--when we shouldn't be. I hope in court they will "expose" my ex for taking us down this path. I hope I get a judge that sees things the way they are.
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mememe View Post
Thank you for this. Now it confirms why I am headed to court--when we shouldn't be. I hope in court they will "expose" my ex for taking us down this path. I hope I get a judge that sees things the way they are.
Please don't expect "they" to prove your case. It is a lesson I have been trying to explain to my children for a very long time. When you don't take complete ownership for your situation, you have lost control.

"The economy", " I have been out of the work force for a very long time", " My boss" etc etc is the cause of your problems you are basically giving up and to me it is just a poor excuse of not having to deal with your issues. When your results, your life, your attitude, your situation is someone's elses responsibility you of course cannot be at fault.
We are all where we are because of choices we made. Just remember this is your life and to leave it in someone's elses hands is a very dangerous choice.

You need to stand up to the plate, educate yourself on how to get to where you need to be.

I was fortunate to have an amazing lawyer and on our first meeting he quoted a line that a professor said to him his first day of law school.
"There is truth and then there is proof and only the proof counts in a court of law".

There is a lot of blame in divorce proceedings but just as everyone else here, I made choices. No one held a gun to anyone's head to marry, or to have children. You need to take control of your future and DO NOT leave it in anyone elses hands. THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
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Old 03-15-2014, 06:28 AM
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Momforever1956, I'm looking for a really good lawyer to handle my case, experienced with OCL and joint custodies, can you recommend one for me please?

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Old 03-15-2014, 06:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Hi All,

I think a vast majority of the responses provided by senior posters on this forum regarding new posters "complaints" about the other parent/ex-partner are summed up best by the Honourable Mr. Justice Quinn in para. 2:



Stirling v. Blake, 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)
Date:2013-08-12
Docket: 1068/00
URL:CanLII - 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)
Citation: Stirling v. Blake, 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)

I won't spoil this one by quoting it to death and remind everyone to READ THE FOOTNOTES that Justice Quinn writes:

CanLII - 2013 ONSC 5216 (CanLII)

Well... except for this gem of a footnote!



Ok... There is this very wise footnote too:



Cheers Justice Quinn! Thank-you for being a Family Law Justice!

Good Luck!
Tayken
Thanks for sharing this with us Tayken, this is an excellent example of the right approach by the judge!

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Old 03-15-2014, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paco View Post
Momforever1956, I'm looking for a really good lawyer to handle my case, experienced with OCL and joint custodies, can you recommend one for me please?

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Paco, I will send you a private message. The lawyer I used does not like to go down the "court road" and believes that if it can be settled with a mediator, arbitrator then it should.

He is a very well respected lawyer, but also very expensive. Are you still interested?
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Old 03-15-2014, 11:27 AM
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Yes please.

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Old 03-15-2014, 04:41 PM
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Hi Momforever1956

My philosophy has always been "10% you have no control over, 90% is how you react to the 10%"

For the past 5 years I move forward no matter what 10% barriers have been put in front of me.

Absolutely have followed that documentation and proof is the key. And all my numbers have documented proof.

So..... I have done what the courts expect. I have always tried to be respectful in my emails to my ex with others vetting the language.

I get it. But when there is no one on the other side wanting to negotiate, talk and be reasonable-----it is a challenge and costly and emotionally draining. I want to be free and I keep pushing forward. However no matter how cordial, inviting the ex to share information, work together, then go to the lawyer-----no matter what I do---nothing changes. We are working with a wall. We give them proof of information of my numbers and they ignore it. As my lawyer said, it is like no one is even looking at our emails or gets back to us. We offer 4 ways. No. His numbers are so off, assets are hidden and he puts barriers where no barriers should be put. He couldn't even close a line of credit that he was the principal on...so I had to go to my lawyer. He served me with divorce papers, and he won't give me my religious divorce.

My only hope in court is that they see I did what the courts wanted and he didn't. It is a crap shoot. One judge,depending on their point of view will manage this.

I have done everything I can, I gave him opportunities (I wasn't going to be a hounding wife, because i am not the wife any more) and nothing is done. He could go on forever with no divorce, no separate of funds. He doesn't care, does nothing and is saving money on his lawyer. I just want my freedom.
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Old 03-15-2014, 04:57 PM
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Some people are fortunate to be able to resolve matters and settle out of court.

I found 4-way settlement meetings to be a total waste of time as anything agreed to was not adhered to by my ex. Requests for information were never followed. Waste of time and money.

mememe - tossing things to a judge is certainly a crap-shoot but sometimes that is the best way. Don't expect a perfect ending and you won't be disappointed.
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Old 03-15-2014, 05:07 PM
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Mememe, that's the only way, keep pushing, as long as you did your part respectfully to everyone involved in your case believe me, this is what judges are looking for, I had it proven last Monday when my ex and her lawyer wanted tp drag me in some sort of blaming discussion, I just cut their crap right from the start, I told the judge that I'm not there for point fingering but to find the right solutions for my kids best interests, belive me from that on I was leading the discusion, they were so quite, mute as a fish, no labeling and show evidence, don't talk from your head, this is what judges want a hear...

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