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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 08:54 PM
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Default Do you have to respond to an affidavit

If you have come to an agreement outside of court?

Would it be bad to not defend myself with proof of lies told?

Would it be bad to not have the courts know I disagreed with almost every single statement made?

If an agreement is reached...is it still necessary to respond?

Would like to hang on to as much hope as I can that we can try to have a better co-parenting relationship after we have come to an agreement. My response will certainly not help in that regard BUT it does defend myself against the lies...
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:39 PM
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my ex used to submit very lengthy (30 pages) affidavits to court which were riddled with lies and inaccuracies. I recall being outraged. I peppered my lawyer with the same question: should we not respond to each and every allegation? His response was no. You respond to statements which you can refute and provide evidence of which are relative to matter at hand. In Family court it goes without saying that affidavits are full of lies. So, if your ex is lying in her affidavit about something that relates back to your filed court document then you would respond with evidence. Of course it is good to have written records (emails) of things so you can relate to them in the future if they become relative.

Your ex's lies will likely catch up with her some day. Just today my ex and I were in court. Ex's application was dismissed quickly after judge told him "court takes it very seriously when someone lies in court." She went on to quickly point out his lies and then simply said "your application is dismissed." After a 3-month wait for matter to be heard it was over in 10 minutes. Ex lied to judge when judge asked him some simple questions. He was unable to respond correctly to judge as he does not fill out his own court documents (girlfriend does). His verbal response was different from his written sworn affidavit. This has happened to ex before.

Lesson to be learned - know the documents you submit to court, particularly if someone else pens it for you (lawyer, girlfriend).

Sometimes less is more.
I believe that effective "paraphrasing" is good in most things. For example, if you and your ex have reached an agreement it doesn't hurt to summarize the discussion (assuming it is verbal) and simply send it to her asking her to read and let you know if she disagrees with what the two of you agreed to. It's a good way to keep track of things as they move along.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:42 PM
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Our agreements are going between lawyers so we are going to be filing a consent order.
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:48 PM
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I have tons of exhibits (Facebook, emails, texts, charts etc...) and out of 18 paragraphs of hers I disagreed with ALL but the first 4. There is an affidavit in each paragraph of my response that has an exhibit that contradicts what she says.

She has a personal disorder forsure!! Isn't calling out a narcissist or someone that is so high conflict going to make matters worse?
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:59 PM
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Nothing is verbal we email only and all agreements have been met with our lawyers being the middleman
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Old 10-21-2017, 12:24 AM
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Without knowing all the nitty-gritty details of your situation I can only say that the differences between you are likely why you are not still with this person. You have to ask yourself if being right all the time is worth the paper you defend yourself on or is it just giving fodder to lawyers?

Sometimes you have to just shrug off the wild stuff as it is likely written just to "get even" with you or to get a reaction from you (something like what some people on this forum do to others when they have nothing better to do).

Read the stuff on Tayken's thread posted today about the Ontario justice's view on parenting. Make sure that you don't think that the courts are going to solve all of your disagreements. The two of you are separated and naturally you're not going to agree on many things. Where the challenge will be for you is to figure out how you are going to communicate with one another in the future when you don't have your respective lawyers on retainer. This is a question you might pose to her at some point: How do you think we should solve our issues in the future?

Court doesn't care who hurts whose feelings. Court doesn't care whether your ex is right and you are wrong or vice-versa. Court cares about agreement being executed in legal fashion; spoils of the marriage are distributed lawfully; children are in optimum living environment with education, food/shelter/medical and kept out of bickering parents' disputes.

I think it is excellent that you have come to an out-of-court agreement. Now focus on putting it to bed and carry on with your life.
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Old 10-21-2017, 12:26 AM
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And no I don't believe you have to respond to your ex. Garbage in ... garbage out.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2017, 12:58 AM
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Thanks Arabian! I value your opinions. So it would be safe for me to just not file a response at all since we will be filing a consent order to change our agreement?

Im just worried if I do not respond and later she files another motion (she will) that not responding to this one will jeopardize me in the future. Will a court think that because I did not respond I am agreeing to all her statements about me?
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Old 10-21-2017, 01:14 AM
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Or will they chalk it up to we made agreements outside of court and didn't waste their time. Some allegations she made is that I am in arrears (I am not) we have agreed to that and that support will change yearly according to income. Which will be in the consent order so isn't it moot to even respond. Why is this so stressful lol
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2017, 02:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
my ex used to submit very lengthy (30 pages) affidavits to court which were riddled with lies and inaccuracies. .
I just got one from my ex 50 pages long. I don't feed the child, i don't bathe the child, I grabbed the child by the neck.. lies through the teeth! My lawyer wants me to respond paragraph by paragraph, whether I agree or not. If I don't agree, then defusing evidence would be a good thing to have. All because I filed a 17 paragraph affidavit for my recent motion, for which the judge basically told her she is going to lose.

sucks.

Last edited by trinton; 10-21-2017 at 02:09 AM.
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