Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2017, 09:37 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default Too early to discuss postsecondary contributions?

Oldest of our kids is 13. We have had a order for several years and we're negotiating some changes with access, support and section 7 expenses.

I requested I would like in the new order that the children would be responsible for 1/3 of their postsecondary.

My ex says she does not wish to discuss at this time. We've been at this since may and have accumulated thousands of dollars in back and forth lawyer fees.

I feel strongly about the children contributing but at the same time if I push this I worry this will piss her off and all the process made will be for nothing.

Suggestions?

Also her lawyer is sending a draft consent order does this mean we're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel here?

I know I won't be satisfied with everything I requested as it will just revert to our original order...choose my battles?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 11:06 AM
Tayken's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,563
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
Oldest of our kids is 13. We have had a order for several years and we're negotiating some changes with access, support and section 7 expenses.

I requested I would like in the new order that the children would be responsible for 1/3 of their postsecondary.

My ex says she does not wish to discuss at this time. We've been at this since may and have accumulated thousands of dollars in back and forth lawyer fees.

I feel strongly about the children contributing but at the same time if I push this I worry this will piss her off and all the process made will be for nothing.

Suggestions?

Also her lawyer is sending a draft consent order does this mean we're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel here?

I know I won't be satisfied with everything I requested as it will just revert to our original order...choose my battles?
Too early probably. You don't even know if the kid is going to post secondary.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 11:14 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default

That is true. Just thought since we have already addressed it was shared several years ago all I wanted was to add the kids would be responsible for 1/3 of their costs.

We've just spent thousands of dollars ammending our original agreement so do not want to push anything that would jeopardize what's already been dealt with and agreed upon.

We're still going back and forth but a consent order is being sent with her responding letter. I am hoping this means we're close to an agreement.

Can a Judge not grant a consent order...we've been going through our lawyers so it's not like either of us is forcing the other hand to agree or sign the changes.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 11:55 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,970
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

It doesnt matter whats in your agreement. If your ex disagrees they can file a motion. The courts look at post secondary in their own way. If you arent a six figure earner, they will more than likely look at 1/3 to the kid. They also look at the expenses and how you both are contributing.

Best advice is to work with your kids on their financial acumen, encourage them to get a part time job and sock money away fro school, open your own RESP, help kids get their grades up and talk to the schools about different scholarships and grants. This will all help manage the costs and teach you all how to be smart.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 12:01 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you! I am glad I asked. I will let the post secondary slide for now (yes we have agreed already to share it) I am very well aware anything can be changed as we're already changing our original agreement 7 yrs later.

Most important right now is eliminating some grey areas in our agreement...support, section 7 and access. Although I'm not 100% happy with some changes I am sure she is not as well.

Just ready to move on and be done with lawyer fees for a few more years 😂
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 12:58 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

I assume you pay child support? What makes you think she will want to minimize the amount of money she can get from you and make the child pay?

If she's going to fight over your reasonable position, then I wouldn't waste my time until the time comes, then you go back and say your position has been the same since the children were 13, and she just wants to bitch and whine over this and this is where we are today. My position remains the same and I will be seeking my costs.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:13 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default

The request for post secondary will be contained in my response affidavit. We are not filing my response until after we have reached a settlement and it has been signed and stamped by the Judge.

My response is not pretty. I have essentially called her out in many lies by attaching emails and text messages from her that contradict everything she said in her own affidavit when she filed a motion. so it's better she didn't see it until after our agreement is made.

I am also the one that initiated a settlement and also requested mediation which was refused.

I pay full support. I thought it would be good to get this addition in the new agreement now but she is choosing to not discuss this at this point. I agree it is probably not worth pushing at this time.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:20 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem80 View Post
The request for post secondary will be contained in my response affidavit. We are not filing my response until after we have reached a settlement and it has been signed and stamped by the Judge.

My response is not pretty. I have essentially called her out in many lies by attaching emails and text messages from her that contradict everything she said in her own affidavit when she filed a motion. so it's better she didn't see it until after our agreement is made.

I am also the one that initiated a settlement and also requested mediation which was refused.

I pay full support. I thought it would be good to get this addition in the new agreement now but she is choosing to not discuss this at this point. I agree it is probably not worth pushing at this time.

What response are you trying to file after the agreement is signed and sealed? Once it is signed and sealed it's over. You take your affidavit and toss in the trash - it's essentially useless at that point.

You should see all the lies of my ex i'm pointing out in my recent affidavit. Oh the judge is going to toss her out. Was fun to see her being lectured by the judge on her recent unreasonable behaviors. If you think 1/3 is reasonable request and would avoid future litigation and conflict, then ask for it, if she pushed back, then let the judge question her motives.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:29 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default

My lawyer says I still need to file a response to her original affidavit as it will alsway be filed with the court and can be used in the future.

We're trying to avoid going to court and letting a judge decide. So far it's been 6 months of back and forth but looking like there is a end in sight.

My response to her original affidavit (which is filed) will still need to be filed or the court will only ever know her side if it is revisited.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:31 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 146
Tandem80 is on a distinguished road
Default

At least my response will be documented I asked for post secondary to be brought up and requested children to contribute at this time. So in 5 yrs my thoughts are still the same and it can be proven at least?
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
RESP contributions schedule 7 expense? Bellbaby Financial Issues 7 10-03-2016 04:45 PM
Postsecondary costs photogmom Financial Issues 29 11-29-2012 12:01 PM
How RESP contributions are handled HappyMomma Financial Issues 5 08-17-2012 09:58 PM
Early Case Conferences? Nadia Divorce & Family Law 1 06-26-2012 10:33 AM
Child Support / Early Retirement, Lump Sum Payout mgh Financial Issues 10 04-12-2006 11:28 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:19 AM.