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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #61 (permalink)  
Old 10-07-2013, 08:39 PM
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Nothing should happen at settlement conference unless on consent. Simply go there trying to move closer on those issues you can, showing the judge you really want to act in the best interest of the children. Of course, in my opinion, that should only be with a view for equal parenting.

A judge will listen to evidence at trial and deal with your issues then if both parties cannot compromise.
  #62 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 09:23 AM
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Thanks I thought so. I've been tempted to go in with an offer to settle which is less than equal time. I offered that last week without prejudice as a last step resort to prevent the children from having to be dragged into this even more and go for a first interview with the OCL lawyer but neither my ex or her lawyer acknowledged the offer until yesterday a.m. too late. I will go back into the SC with an offer with a gradual 2-2-5-5.

The reason for my concern was talking to a single Mom I know yesterday and this just happened in her case, they already had an agreement, OCL Lawyer was appointed for the children, had a SC, OCL Lawyer showed up and told the judge she was ready to present her position on what would be in the best interests of the children and the judge ordered it on the spot at the SC. That scared me a bit being that I asked for the SC after trial date has been set, and OCL lawyer is pushing aggressively on his interviews.
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:07 AM
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Don't give up, equal shared parenting is a reachable goal. Look up the orange county of California parenting guidelines on Google for parenting plans and how to fast track gradual access to equal shared (gradual as in 8 weeks from nothing to equal shared).
  #64 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 11:18 AM
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Thank you InvolvedDad,

I wish there were some Ontario examples of gradual plans to 5-5-2-2.

This settlement conference brief is due now and I don't know how to suggest I take my current access schedule and suggest in a reasonable gradual way to get me to 5-5-2-2 (I was thinking 6 months?)
  #65 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DontGiveUp View Post
The reason for my concern was talking to a single Mom I know yesterday and this just happened in her case, they already had an agreement, OCL Lawyer was appointed for the children, had a SC, OCL Lawyer showed up and told the judge she was ready to present her position on what would be in the best interests of the children and the judge ordered it on the spot at the SC. That scared me a bit being that I asked for the SC after trial date has been set, and OCL lawyer is pushing aggressively on his interviews.
In a nutshell, a judge is not permitted to make an order if a party is blindsided. If you do not receive advance notice that an order will be requested, and you do not know in advance what the order is, and you do not have time to prepare beforehand, then a judge should not be making an order. This would absolutely be thrown out on appeal.

As well, final orders should only be made on consent at a SC. Exceptions to this are very rare, and would be extreme situations in order to be justified.

I am not saying it didn't happen, but it is far-fetched, and I would not personally rely on information that is this far-fetched coming third-hand from an anonymous source.

Psychologically, when we don't get what we want from court, it happens that we distort our memories and perceptions when we tell our stories. We don't want to look like fools or losers, so we portray the situation as though we were helpless martyrs. This happens to us all. I would feel more confident about this story if there were case law cited. Unfortunately that is not possible with a SC.

Please read this thread http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...arified-15545/ for a discussion that includes case law.

That case deals with case conference, not settlement conference, and the expectation may be slightly different, but the issues of procedural fairness, the family law rules, and notice still apply.
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:09 PM
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Thank you Mess.

I did find it weird. It was directly from the mouth of a single Mom I know and she won custody through this court order apparently ordered at the SC conference after the OCL Lawyer attended and produced their position on this best interests and wishes of the children.

Perhaps this happened because the Father was already not allowed to see the children and the children didn't want to see him and the father lashed out at the OCL lawyer's position in court and then the judge decided in rare case to make the order?
  #67 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 12:20 PM
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The order should have been made due to facts presented and in accordance with the law. Not because someone lost their temper.
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Old 10-08-2013, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
The order should have been made due to facts presented and in accordance with the law. Not because someone lost their temper.
I agree mess with that summary.
  #69 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 02:11 PM
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I'm not sure what happened then. She won her order so I don't know why she'd make it up that the judge awarded it at SC, no trial and telling me to be careful because that is what just happened in her case. An order like that should come froma trial and trial judge. Weird. It made me reconsider going through with the 2nd SC but I am, brief is done with a new offer to settle. Thanks to those who gave insights and suggestions.
  #70 (permalink)  
Old 10-08-2013, 03:26 PM
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Ok, I just received a SC Brief from the OCL Lawyer (had no idea they did one) and he is asking for our trial management conference in Dec and our sitting for trial of Feb next year to be adjourned so that OCL can finish their investigation shoult they get approved to involve a social worker.... Help!

I do not want the trial management conference and trial pushed back at this stage, especially since nobody has yet agreed to social worker involvement.

The statue quo is already 5 yrs and counting and if trial is delayed I won't be able to successfully get some additional access time through motion as wouldn't a judge most likely not even want to make an interim order on some increased access until OCL position is available? So how do I then change the status quo and slowly increase my access? Any insight would be appreciated on how best to proceed.
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