Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2015, 03:33 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3,001
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default Termination of Parental Relationship

Hes got a birthday gift for her that has a pile of goodies in it. He just feels that all the food looks like he cares more about the other kid.

Hes also fussing about how he reaches out to her to get her to talk to him. His big issue is not agreeing with her decision to sever the relationship. He cant understand it and is looking to "fix it". I told him to just keep emailing her every now and then to let her know hes thinking of her and he loves her see how it goes.

Ultimately that aspect is her decision but hes still entitled to info on her activities/well being which his ex is not sharing.

ETA: kid 1 has a health issue impacting her food choices. With no car to get to specialty stores, he thought it would be beneficial to buy her a box of stuff she can eat and also take her shopping. Hes worried kid 2 will be jealous. They have never had a healthy view of things one gets over the other. His ex was always of the opinion it had to be equal regardless of their interests, schedules, feelings etc which has bred an attitude of "well you gave her this so I should get it too". Its normal for a parent to send/buy stuff for their kids away at school. It shouldnt be a case of "I hate you because you took her grocery shopping".

Last edited by rockscan; 09-21-2015 at 03:36 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2015, 05:39 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,838
stripes is on a distinguished road
Default

Dad can't fix the sibling issue between 1 and 2. If he thinks it would be beneficial for 1 to go shopping for special foods, why not do so? He can't organize his relationship with 1 according to what 2 might think, especially if 2 isn't talking to him at the moment. Maybe 2 will be ticked off, but at the moment she would probably be ticked off by anything Dad does because she's just generally ticked off with Dad. Dad can't let the fear of ticking off 2 be the determining factor in his relationship with 1.

Give 1 what he thinks she needs to have, and keep the door open for 2, with occasional emails and contacts. It will be up to her whether to walk through the door or not.

It sounds like Dad is overthinking this. Do what he thinks is right for the kids and let go of the consequences. He's not in the driver's seat here.
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2015, 06:12 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,227
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

What dad needs to consider here is the 'discrimination' effect and realize that it swings both ways:

1- treating equal things as unequal
2- treating unequal things as equal.

The kids are in different situations and should be treated as such...and that's OK.
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-21-2015, 06:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 3,001
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

All things I tell him. I dont have children though so "I dont know what it feels like". Its good to know all of you who are parents agree
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Termination of the relationship blinkandimgone Divorce & Family Law 4 08-25-2014 09:39 AM
Allegations of child abuse in the context of parental separation: A discussion paper Tayken Domestic Violence 7 08-21-2013 04:29 PM
Termination of Parental Rights. Tank2 Divorce & Family Law 20 02-12-2013 08:57 PM
Parental Alienation Grace Divorce & Family Law 16 03-27-2011 10:21 AM
4 year CL relationship ending - custody of child, house, possessions etc. Itiq Common Law Issues 2 09-12-2008 07:23 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:15 AM.