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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-15-2016, 09:58 AM
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Default Support and Adult Child

I have a quick question and need guidance. I'm trying to determine if I have to continue to pay for my son or can suspend the payments pending his decision to return to school. I call him an adult and my ex still thinks of him as a child.

I've been separated and divorced for several years. My ex and I had agreed over 12 years ago that I would pay support and have been paying every month, even when I had a bankruptcy and my income on line 150 had been reduced to near $0.00. There has never been a court order. We have 2 children together and one has turned 18 and although finished high school is missing one credit which prevented him from getting his diploma.

On his 18th birthday, I started paying his support directly to him. He needs to learn how to pays his bills on his own and there was no objection from his mother. He started working full time and I thought he was returning to school in the fall to complete his credit. He didn't return. He said he was going to work until the second semester and then return, but this is considered part time. He is working about 30-35 hours a week. In the fall I had a discussion with him regarding how much he has saved from working the summer. He hadn't saved a penny. I was willing to continue to pay him but he agreed for me to withhold half and he would save the equal amount. I recently had a discussion with him and he hasn't saved the equal amount. Now my ex is objecting to everything and has hired a lawyer, citing that I have vastly underpaid my obligation for the past 12 years. CRA only requires 6 years of record keeping and my understanding is that I actually only need to produce 3 years of financials. My records show that I have overpaid.

I know if he returns to a full time post secondary education I would and gladly continue to pay support and contribute to his education. He is looking at an apprenticeship which again changes a lot as he will be at school for a limited amount of time.

I have hired a lawyer, but want to be certain what I am being told is correct. If he only returns to high school to take a couple of credits I don't pay and am not obligated to pay. I was willing to help my son learn the value of the dollar and try to teach him how to save and pay his bills, but with her actions I don't know if I have a choice.

Please help!

BLWL
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:09 AM
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Hes not considered a child of the marriage if he is 18 or older and not in school full time. He is not eligible for support while hes working. When he returns to school he will be eligible. Your ex cant go back six years. At most she could go back three years but she would have to explain why she didnt seek an increase during that time.

Make a chart of what you paid, what you owed and what the difference is. That will help in your negotiations. If you have overpaid, you could make an offer to settle that you will not seek it to be repaid and will return to paying full cs when kid goes back to school.

What your kid/ex did with the money is irrelevant and has no place in your argument. You paid cs properly, what they did with it is none of your business.
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:23 AM
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Thank you for the quick response. It's what I thought and told by my lawyer. Everything was going fine, and I have never questioned where the money was going, but now she is now only hurting our son with her actions.

Thanks Again.

BLWL
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Old 11-15-2016, 11:16 AM
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What she does and what your son allows her to do is out of your control. Stop worrying about that and focus on the law and what is allowed.

As I have said to many parents on this forum (any my own partner): you cannot change the way someone else behaves, you can only change your behaviour towards it.

Your son will always cede to his mother as her way means he keeps getting money he can spend (or give to her if thats how it works). Fighting to change this gets you nowhere. So dont fight. The law is pretty clear--not a child of the marriage = not entitled to support.

It may light a fire to get him back to school!!
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Old 11-15-2016, 10:00 PM
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I'm in a very similar situation myself right. I have already filed a motion to terminate CS, citing that my son (whom I've been alienated from since 2007) has not taken school seriously at all. His marks on his transcript is less than desirable. He is about to turn 20 this July and still hasn't completed his high school diploma.
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