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-   -   summer parenting time issues (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/summer-parenting-time-issues-21252/)

tunnelight 08-05-2017 10:36 AM

summer parenting time issues
 
quick background:

mom has sole custody (on consent and with bullying from other lawyer when I was self represented)

order has absolutely no holiday schedule, and times are to be agreed upon.

I commend a motion to change 6 months after the consent order. This has been ongoing for 2+ years and the case management judge has stated that early in the proceeding that a holiday schedule should be put in place, and access should be expanded, and that joint custody may be a possibility, and recently appointed the OCL. OCL has agreed to take case and is presently investigating. OCL has already told me that they will be most indeed making a recommendation for holiday schedule.)

I had one week of parenting time each of the months of summer last year given the judg'es comments (but not summer parenting time the year prior given the other parent wouldn't agree to any reasonable request).

We have been asking for summer time since early this year. We finally got a letter from them in the middle of july when the other parent had summer plans, and they cancelled my Tuesday visit without any agreement. In that letter they said the weeks are to be interrupted and they would agree to any 2 weeks of my choosing. We sent a letter back with my 2 weeks and said we will take it as an agreement if we don't hear back by end of that week. Of course, we didn't hear back and so I finalized my time off work and made summer plans. We also tried to work out make up time for a recent weekend parenting time denial by the other parent. No motion was brough forward for these issues as local court doesn't allow motions for access issues when they are involving the OCL or when the OCL is investigating.

Surprise surprise, it seems the other parent had her lawyer send a last minute letter (just before my proposed week and way after the date we said we wanted a response back with -failing which we would take as agreement) and send me a message that she wants me to take the child to all these weekly classes she has scheduled and that I will have to return child immediately after my weekend if I don't agree to take child.

I obviously won't be able to get intouch with my lawyer until after the long weekend, and I don't believe the other parent that child has a class on Monday. I checked the programs website and they are closed on Monday given the holiday. So I plan on just letting the parent know that and advise her that the child won't be returned the weekend for her to take her to a class that is cancelled.

As for the other class that falls later on the week, what is the best way to handle that? Just tell her my lawyer will be touch with her lawyer following the long weekend ? or just ignore and keep the child for the week.

There is another dentist appointment on the week, which I have no problem with as I feel that is important.

She MAY call the police on the Sunday. Is it wise for me to call the police first so they know I'm not planning any abduction or anything like that (since a criminal wouldn't call the police before committing a crime )?

How should the summer access be dealt with? Should I just ignore the other parent and discsss with lawyer on tuesday? Or let other parent know that child will be with me on Monday since there is no class? I am not in agreement of the classses (the other parent enrolled unilaterally without any discussion or agreement with me and is trying to bully me into agreeing to them so she could seek S7 expenses). The child doesn't enjoy the classes. There is also no police assistance clause.

Apologies for the super long post, but I wanted to provide as much information as possible to get the best possible answers.

Thanks!

Tandem80 08-05-2017 10:50 AM

I keep being told that the CP should not be scheduling activities during the NCP's access. I don't know if this actual holds true with Judges...especially when they are unilateral enrolments? Do you have an agreement about Section 7 expenses?

tunnelight 08-05-2017 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tandem80 (Post 222674)
I keep being told that the CP should not be scheduling activities during the NCP's access. I don't know if this actual holds true with Judges...especially when they are unilateral enrolments? Do you have an agreement about Section 7 expenses?

Agreed. Bad idea. In my view it falls under the hostile / controlling / gatekeeper parent category.

No agreement about Section 7 expenses.

Tandem80 08-05-2017 12:06 PM

So she has Carte le Blanche to enrol child in anything and you have to pay up and participate?

Baffling how ex's can control your time and finances even after divorce.

tunnelight 08-06-2017 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tandem80 (Post 222677)
So she has Carte le Blanche to enrol child in anything and you have to pay up and participate?

Baffling how ex's can control your time and finances even after divorce.

Nope. I don't have to pay a nickel, nor do I have to participate. They can only control your time and finances if you let them. Heard back from my lawyer and they just said to enjoy my holiday time as they don't think that any judge would get upset if child missed her classes during summer holidays with dad.

Tandem80 08-06-2017 03:00 PM

Well how the heck is my ex trying to get me court ordered to pay for a sport I never agreed on. And significantly impacts my visitations?

tunnelight 08-07-2017 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tandem80 (Post 222689)
Well how the heck is my ex trying to get me court ordered to pay for a sport I never agreed on. And significantly impacts my visitations?

I don't know. Ex's can try to get many things, it doesn't mean that they will succeed. This was a thread to help me out. Perhaps you could post your own thread?

Tandem80 08-07-2017 06:32 PM

Sorry I was just making conversation. Didn't mean to hijack your thread. Just sounded like we had similar situations.


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