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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-21-2012, 12:51 PM
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Default Summer Holiday Access Schedule :)

I know it seems like a long way off, however I received a call this morning from my soon to be ex-mother-in-law. She asked about a specific week for next summer as she is booking the airline tickets for the kids and their father. The court ordered schedule currently in place is we each get 2 weeks in the summer (1 in July and 1 in August) and the balance of the summer is based on our regular schedule. I have always tried to book the summer weeks beginning Saturday to Saturday or Sunday to Sunday, however his mother requested a Wednesday to the following Thursday. My question is how does this flow into the normal access schedule and what truly constitutes a week, as we seem to have an issue with this every summer. Also how do our weekends flow into the exclusive summer weeks.

Thank you
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:10 PM
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What does your agreement/order specifically say?

Unless there is wording restricting the 2 one week period sas being from Saturday to Saturday (which isn't something an agreement would normally specify) it is a two one week periods of the other parents choosing.

I normally try to line my up with my weekends and long weekends to maximize the time. But if for some reason I decided to do it differently, it would be my prerogative (and vice versa for my ex).

Edit - regarding your summer weekends etc. Should the ex schedule one of his weeks on your weekend, the summer vacation would override the regular schedule. I wouldn't get to upset if this is what happened because there will be a time when you likely have to do the same thing......it will simply all come out in the wash.

Last edited by HammerDad; 11-21-2012 at 01:13 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:29 PM
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Especially, when you are doing things like booking flights and such, which you don't have much control over, it's pretty hard to slot the vacation into a Saturday to Saturday timeframe, and have an actual meaningful vacation.

If you don't have anything planned already, that you had let them know about, and if your order doesn't specify differently, for the requested vacation time, then I would simply agree to it, and you'll be able to excercise this kind of flexibility as well, in the future. It's a chance for the kids to go on vacation.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:43 PM
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Personally, it wouldn't kill me if I missed a day of access so that my child could enjoy a great vacation with their grandparent. I do think it is positive if the grandparent acknowledges that I am doing a favour and being flexible. If access is limited, or if it is a struggle to get flexibility flowing both ways, then it is worth making an issue out of it. If generally you get along and can make switches every now and then without conflict, then just go with it.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:56 PM
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I figure, vacation usually only comes once or twice a year, and for most folks, it's usually only a total of 2 weeks out of the year, so it's best if both parents can be accomodating for vacation requests. It's a chance, for the kids to go on a vacation of some sorts, and you don't have to pay for it (presumably). :-)

People who fight over this, are usually dealing with a high conflict ex(s).
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:01 PM
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As others have said, I'd work with the dates from the grandparents. There is plenty of notice here...which is actually very considerate. Look at the calendar and see if it goes over your access weekend and if it does perhaps ask for a makeup weekend....or if it's not a big deal to you, just let it slide. If you want, write all the days in and around that time in a calendar and see how it works out...you may find that it's pretty minor.

For the first year of my separation both my ex and I counted days and hours...and protected it vehemently. We both realize now that was a huge waste of time and effort....it's not even an issue anymore. We both try to be very flexible when it comes to time vacations...extra days...a few extra hours on special occasions or the odd extra night stay. It's much easier that way...and if the kids are having a GREAT time, then that's all that truly matters.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Personally, it wouldn't kill me if I missed a day of access so that my child could enjoy a great vacation with their grandparent. I do think it is positive if the grandparent acknowledges that I am doing a favour and being flexible. If access is limited, or if it is a struggle to get flexibility flowing both ways, then it is worth making an issue out of it. If generally you get along and can make switches every now and then without conflict, then just go with it.
So long as that grandparent isn't the infamous Patty60...
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:21 PM
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My ex and I have a court ordered agreement. We may have stuck to that for a week. I have/had sole custody, but he could always have them as little or as much as he wanted. We have both been incredibly flexible with each other. Nice that the grandmother is involved and giving you tons of notice, makes it much easier for you.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
People who fight over this, are usually a high conflict ex.
Fixed your post...
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momto3 View Post
................. however his mother requested a Wednesday to the following Thursday. My question is how does this flow into the normal access schedule and what truly constitutes a week, as we seem to have an issue with this every summer.
Who makes it an issue every summer....and why?

What would you expect Dad to do if you made the same request?

Why don't you suggest the Wed->Thu week is fine with you and that you'll just tack on your "lost days" when the boy gets home from his trip?
That way it'll give him more time to share how much fun he had and you don't lose any access time.
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