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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-21-2015, 06:18 PM
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Default Stbx started an affair with the shrink

So my suspicion of an affair with the shrink has been confirmed. Shue got off the meds, he declared that the treatment is over she no longer his patient and now they are dating. A complain is under investigation through the college.
The shrink encouraged the divorce and now he will be the next husband, I am afraid he will mess around with my children psychicolgy and possibility of parental alienation there?
Any tips on at least getting the kids majority of the time to reside with me? I will live in their school area, drive them to activities, got witnesses that I was the primary care giver (even now with dates and her sleeepovers and leaving the kids with me)?
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by abuseddad View Post
So my suspicion of an affair with the shrink has been confirmed.
How has it been confirmed? Did you hire a PI to gather the evidence and provide an independent source of the evidence. Or are you relying upon your emotional instincts as an "abused" parent?

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Originally Posted by abuseddad View Post
She got off the meds, he declared that the treatment is over she no longer his patient and now they are dating.
I would recommend you really validate this information and retain a PI to gather the appropriate evidence but, I still don't see how it is relevant to the matter.

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Originally Posted by abuseddad View Post
A complain is under investigation through the college.
Which college may I ask? Mental health workers are governed by a variety of colleges. Each one has their own guidelines regarding client/provider relationships. None of them condone two responsible consulting adults engaging in a relationship.

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The shrink encouraged the divorce and now he will be the next husband, I am afraid he will mess around with my children psychicolgy and possibility of parental alienation there?
Have you ever considered that you may be under a lot of stress and possibly experiencing an adjustment disorder? Your story is often way too sensational to be believable. Your concerns are very exaggerated. You fear a professional (aka "shrink" - by the way it is a derogatory term similar to the the "N" word) and are expressing fears / worries very that may be anxiety driven. Like how the medical professional may be plotting to alienate your children. Very sensational and irrational don't you think?

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Originally Posted by abuseddad View Post
Any tips on at least getting the kids majority of the time to reside with me?
Do not allow your anxiety to overwhelm you and create paranoia or irrational fears. Seek out the assistance of a properly qualified mental health professional and get help.

The evidence you are relying above when presented is NOT typical to what a justice will see in day-to-day family court. So if you go in court with this wild a claim without substantial evidence to the fact you will be seen as potentially delusional.

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Originally Posted by abuseddad View Post
I will live in their school area, drive them to activities, got witnesses that I was the primary care giver (even now with dates and her sleeepovers and leaving the kids with me)?
Again, you are very concerned with removing the other parent from the children's life and getting the kids the majority of the time. Suffice to say, people engage in relationships all the time. Some times with professionals. You are going to have to let go of whom the other parent dates.

I strongly suggest you seek out the appropriate legal counsel and mental health help. You can dig yourself a very deep hole if you do seriously consider how you may be seen by the court.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:40 PM
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I have evidence from a licensed PI. If a professional violated the code of ethics then he is unprofessional
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:49 PM
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I have evidence from a licensed PI. If a professional violated the code of ethics then he is unprofessional
Then you clearly have the funds to seek legal advice from a lawyer if you have a PI gathering evidence. A significant amount of funds to do so. Furthermore, if you did have a lawyer, and if anything was at all truthful that lawyer would advise you against posting personal details on this site. Suffice to say... I do not buy your story.

Again, I will ask what kind of mental health professional are we discussing here? Psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker? Each governing body has different rules.

For example, could you specifically identify in the College of Physicians and Surgeons policies where having consensual sex with someone is against the rules? Are you suggesting that a family practitioner is not allowed to prescribe medication to their wife ever? (Which is certainly NOT the case.)

Also, it is convenient to state that a PI provided the "evidence" to you after I questioned you specifically if that is how you obtained it. Your reply is lacking in the necessary details to make it believable - to be frank.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 07-21-2015, 07:52 PM
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Assuming that you're talking about a psychiatrist in Ontario, here's what their college has to say:

http://www.cpo.on.ca/Sexual_Contact_with_Clients.aspx

I was going to copy and paste the content, but I can't keep the formatting.

Here is a news article from last year detailing what happened to a psychiatrist who did sleep with a patient:

When a psychiatrist crosses the sexual line | Toronto Star

I'm sure that the regs are similar in most other provinces. We just have to use google

The OP may have not contacted his lawyer, or informed the lawyer of their intent to post on here. Nobody has been named. Though I agree the OP should refrain from talking about it. The less you post on a public forum about it, the less ammunition defence lawyers have.

We should point out that if the affair did happen and if the profession's board of review finds that something did happen, you may have an opportunity to sue the professional for breaking up your marriage, aka malpractice. You may want to discuss the situation with an ambulance chaser - er medical malpractice lawyer.

Furthermore if the professional loses their license to practice in Ontario, your ex will likely be seeking to move the kids out of province, further befuddling your case.
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nfc4ever View Post
Assuming that you're talking about a psychiatrist in Ontario, here's what their college has to say:

http://www.cpo.on.ca/Sexual_Contact_with_Clients.aspx

I was going to copy and paste the content, but I can't keep the formatting.

Here is a news article from last year detailing what happened to a psychiatrist who did sleep with a patient:

When a psychiatrist crosses the sexual line | Toronto Star

I'm sure that the regs are similar in most other provinces. We just have to use google

The OP may have not contacted his lawyer, or informed the lawyer of their intent to post on here. Nobody has been named. Though I agree the OP should refrain from talking about it. The less you post on a public forum about it, the less ammunition defence lawyers have.

We should point out that if the affair did happen and if the profession's board of review finds that something did happen, you may have an opportunity to sue the professional for breaking up your marriage, aka malpractice. You may want to discuss the situation with an ambulance chaser - er medical malpractice lawyer.

Furthermore if the professional loses their license to practice in Ontario, your ex will likely be seeking to move the kids out of province, further befuddling your case.
No, you can't sue the psychiatrist for malpractice, unless you yourself were the patient. You are the victim of malpractice only if the psychiatrist misdiagnosed or mistreated you, not your wife. And the bar for mistreatment is pretty high.

And the idea that you can sue someone for breaking up your marriage is a leftover from the days when spouses were treated like property and you could sue someone for "stealing" your property. Don't even think about going that route.

If your wife is having an affair with her ex-psychiatrist, you can report this to the relevant professional college, but don't expect anything to happen unless your wife herself complains. If your wife is not willing to make a complaint, the psychiatrist is not going to lose his license. Consenting adults can date/sleep with who they like, including their former psychiatrists. If the professional relationship is over, there is no ethical breach.

You keep asking how you can get your wife out of the house and get primary custody of the kids. That is the wrong question. You should be asking how you can work out a settlement that divides your property, settles the question of spousal support, and enables the kids to maintain a relationship with both of you.

I agree with Tayken, please seek mental health help for yourself and get professional legal advice, not just strangers on the internet. It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of distress.
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:19 PM
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I can understand it when the person is still a client of the doctor...however what if the patient doctor relationship no longer exists when treatment is over?
It sounds like in abused dads case he thinks the supposed dating started after the doctor took her off meds and severed the professional relationship.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:08 PM
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I'm wondering if he thinks that the psychiatrist encouraged his ex-wife to get off the meds, even though she may still have needed them, so that he could pursue a relationship with her?
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Old 07-21-2015, 11:44 PM
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College of Physicians and Surgeons will investigate this matter. It will be a lengthy process (years).

As creepy as your situation is (very, very creepy IMO) you would proceed in the same manner as everyone else going through a custody matter.

Good thing you had a licensed PI obtain the evidence for you.

I totally understand your concern with having your children exposed to the creep, however, your situation is no different than others in regards to boyfriend/girlfriend.

Oh, by the way, it is not kosher for a doctor to write a prescription for a spouse or family member. That is what medical "colleagues" are for. Doubtful that a medical practitioner would risk investigation with possibility of losing his/her license in this way. Pretty stupid if they do. However, we do read of doctors who step over the boundaries of professional conduct. CanLii publishes many of these cases.

Some of you may find this case to be of interest:

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/oncps/d...resultIndex=10

"....a sexual relationship may never be appropriate with a former psychotherapy patient. At all times, it is the physician's professional responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries with patients and former patients."

Last edited by arabian; 07-22-2015 at 12:19 AM.
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Old 07-22-2015, 12:17 AM
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Have to agree with Arabian.

Ex wouldn't write scripts for myself or our children. He would call another doc and they would call in whatever he asked for. Even for simple antibiotic, he always called in favours.

He did the same for them. He had said that it was frowned upon for immediate family. I don't really know more than that.
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