Status Quo

[serrona]

I keep hearing that the courts are reluctant to change the status of access and custody when a routine or "status quo" have been established.

My question is: What about cases where the status quo is what it is because one parent ( my ex) has refused contact with the child? I would have loved to have my child 50% of the time since we separated, but she constantly refused. How is it that I am a father who is desperate to be with m;y child yet it feels as though I have no rights at all. WE all know that if roles were reversed, the mother parent would have tons of rights. Seems to me that fathers in Canada are nothing more than cash cows.

[Decent Dad]

As always, before we get into this, how long has this been going on? What is the schedule? Are there any agreements in place? Court orders? What do you mean by "refused"?

Yup... bizarre as it is, the status quo, whether agreed to or having it "forced" upon you, is a killer in court. May I suggest you search Can Law to see any cases that match you prediciment.

http://www.canlii.org/eliisa/

If you need help... let me know.

[jlalex]

Food for thought here, if you don't already have a court order setting visitation, and if you do have an order stating your access tme, you can go pick up your child and there isn't a whole lot she can do about it. If she calls the police they will back you up. Unless she has a court order stating that you *can not* have access she is not able to deny you. That of course doesn't mean she can't disapear and not be available during those pick up times..but you do have options here.

Granted it is crappy to get the police involved, but it sounds like you might not have a whole lot of choice. As well it sounds like you have a lawyer, so try to set up a time to have visitation with the kids through the lawyers, and if she keeps refusing then at least you have it on record. After all visitation isn't about the parents its about the children.

[logicalvelocity]

The status quo living arrangement of a child is seldom changed if everything is working out well for a child regardless of how it was obtained because it is demonstrated evidence. If you sit back and do nothing, this is considered acquired consent.

In Ontario, with no order or separation agreement in place, both parent's have co-extensive custody of the child, but when the parent's separate and the child remains living with one parent through acquired consent, the authority to act as a parent for the other is suspended, but not ended until an order from the court or agreement providing otherwise. The child's access survives and one parent has no authority to dictate the terms of same. A parent's ability to parent becomes questionable if they deny a child access to their other parent especially if they have no reasonable grounds to deny same. Reasonable grounds would be defined as emotional, physical harm.

Involving police in family matters ie: to pick up your child absent of a court order is dangerous and could backfire on you. Every time the police are called creates evidence and a paper trail. One party could allege that the police presence in front of the child caused the child emotional harm. Police have no authority to enforce a child's access absent court order and most likely they will tell you to speak to a lawyer and perhaps bring an action forth in family court.

Continue making requests for the child's access to occur in writing. Send registered mail. This is your evidence and creates a paper trail. If you receive no response, send a follow up letter and so forth. Be pleasant and polite in your requests.

Once you have your requests(paper trail) in place, bring forth an action with the court by way of an application. The other party will have to respond, if not, the matter will go on without them and their participation and a summary Judgment may occur. I do suspect you will receive an Answer from the other parent at this time.


lv