Spouse doesnt want court but fails to negotiate. Wants to keep home, how to approach?

[pippidee]

Hello;

I am writing on behalf of a male friend of mine and will try to give a quick idea of situation:

Married about 6 years
One child of marriage 5 years old female
1 marital home
He is willing to pay child support and is seeking her to have primary custody and him to have ample access
Unwilling to pay spousal (She is an RN and they make the same or he would make less than her if she worked full time)
He lives in the house still but in the basement
He has his own account to which his pay is being deposited. He is transferring about $1000 -1200 a month into their still established joint account to pay his portion of mortgage and bills. She has the joint account run to a $2000 overdraft.
She recently charged $700 unauthorized to his credit card (she was secondary cardholder). He has now removed her access to that card and is going to bill the balance for her.

His spouse is in denial. He has presented her with several copies of an agreement he drafted in March up until now and she only recently started working with him on it. He thinks they got everything sorted down to one final issue. She will not sell the house, she will not buy him out from the house, she wants the house. He will not give her the house. He agreed to give her all of the house contents ie furniture. She was to discuss with her father a loan to buy out the house and she still has not. She will not qualify for a mortgage on her own but I doubt she is aware of this. She has a terrible work history of quitting jobs and only works part time. He offered to put a clause in the separation agreement that they will settle the house issue in court and then she can sign the rest. She still has not agreed to sign.

We need to know what to do from here. He wants to avoid legal costs as much as possible. I agreed to help him with the court documents to file for divorce as his year long separation period comes up in May. I advised him to see a lawyer to review what we have done at least and to get some advice on how to approach the house issue. Here are my suggestions to him as someone not of a legal background. Any thoughts or advice?

All of the following have my friend moving out of the basement within the next 2 weeks into his own place.

1. Have one last discussion with her to see if she will sign or not and if not, tell her during said agreement that he has an appt to file in court (though he does not yet) and see if she will sign. This is the "calling her bluff" approach.

2. We go see the lawyer for advice and review of our documents and then file in court and serve her. We are betting on her being more apt to settle out of court once she is served.

3. His mortgage renewal is coming in on May or June. He will refuse to sign renewal until she signs the agreement as it stands.


Also, what to do with the joint bank account? Can he ask for it to be closed alone? Does a court need to order this?

Basically we need to know the best course of action to take with this person who seems to want to delay delay delay getting any kind of agreement put in place and who wants a free house. I am aware that 50/50 property rights are in place and she wont get the house but her thinking she will is causing an issue here. Mediation might be an option if she wasn't in denial. In my friends mind they have wittled the separation agreement down to this house issue, the rest is settled and yet she will not sign.


Thanks!

[Exquizique]

Depends if your friend wants to be "nice" and let the house issue drag on indefinitely due to various reasons on his wife's part. IMHO, your friend is better off going with option "2". On the surface "everything else" has been addressed and agreed to in the drafted agreement, but when reality finally hits his wife (and it's a matter of time), he may find that her stand or position on some of those matters may change. Best if he gets legal counsel now, especially if there's a child involved, and makes sure he covers his bases.

Also, having formal court papers served tends to be a great way to bring reality home. If his wife really wants to avoid court, she'll settle out of court and it won't have to go all the way to court. This will avoid having things dragged out indefinitely too.

And yes, he can have the joint bank account closed on his request alone. It would be wise to do it sooner rather than later as he will be jointly liable for any overdraft/negative balances left in it.